Should I give him up?

[Natarick]

Hi everyone, my relationship with my guy is only 6 months old, currently he is overseas studying. We started the relationship just days before he left, hence, we never had a strong foundation in the relationship.

Everything went really well until he came back a couple of months back for a week's holiday. We held a gathering with friends whom we've not seen for more than a decade. *we were childhoood friends* There was this particular girl whom our friend brought along during the gathering and somehow based on women's instinct, he was kinda attracted to her.

They exchanged MSN contacts and when he went back, that was when everything started. I stumbled upon this because I accidently logged into his mailbox and read all the mushy things they wrote. Immediately, I called and confronted him rearding the issue.

He reassured me that there was nothing going on between them *which was a lie, coz he mentioned in the mail that if he had met her earlier, they would make an amazing couple, and if things were to dissolve between me and him, he would go for her* and that he loves me.

I forgave him, agreed not to bring this matter up in future and let the matter rest. Now, I feel a strain in the relationship. I cannot get this matter off my mind. Honestly, I do not trust him anymore and as much as I care and love him alot, I just think that it is not going to work out.

There is this distance I am feeling, I have no idea is it because of that issue or is it because he is too busy with his studies we hardly chat. I do pray hard everyday that things will work out between us, but looking at the "progress" we're making, I doubt that we can get thru it.

I feel like a loser.

Honestly, my mind is telling me to let go, but my heart is telling me to hang on.

[Pears]

It is not a good idea to have a long distance relationship because they are hard to maintain. Also he is already associating with someone else. Your head is in the right place. Follow it. Don't feel like a loser and do what you need to. You don't need to be associating with him now.

[Cybog]

They exchanged MSN contacts and when he went back, that was when everything started. I stumbled upon this because I accidently logged into his mailbox and read all the mushy things they wrote. Immediately, I called and confronted him rearding the issue.

I love how you state that you "accidentally" logged in. So, how exactly do you "accidentally" type in someone's username and password, and then scroll through their emails and find certian ones, and then "accidentally" read those emails?

Why don't you just admit that you are a snoop, so that we can get all of this lying out of the way.

[Natarick]

Well, it was purely unintentional.

I was at his place having dinner with his parents and I was on his computer wanting to check my mails. I didnt even need his password to login, all I did was to type in the address *to log into my mailbox* and I accessed his mails. When that page opened up, there were mails that didnt belong to me. At that instance, I knew it was his mailbox, and it was filled with mails from that third party. If you were me, wouldnt u be curious as to why his mailbox is ONLY filled with a particular girl/guy's mails?

Until that point of time, I feel that it was unnecessary NOT to trust him.
Esp we're having a long distant relationship. Shouldnt the word TRUST be the most essential thing?

If I really had to scoop so low into logging into his mailbox, then, there wasnt any trust from the beginning, and honestly, why would I want to torture myself and let myself into situations like this? I could have saved myself from being so PARANOID about this whole issue.

[King Zarathu]

I love how you state that you "accidentally" logged in. So, how exactly do you "accidentally" type in someone's username and password, and then scroll through their emails and find certian ones, and then "accidentally" read those emails?

Why don't you just admit that you are a snoop, so that we can get all of this lying out of the way.

ROFL Cybog that's EXACTLY what was going through my mind when I read the word "accidentally."

And yes, let him go.

[bluestrattos]

i see no future in your relationship! As you said it and well, trust must be present in a relationship either long or not. Leave before you get even more hurted. And if you think you might forget those mails you accidentally read, you'll not. Leave now. Good Luck.

ps: More careful in the future with those accidents, i'm not sure (i don't know the US laws) but i think that reading other people's emails, it's a crime.

[Tone]

Is your name Natalie, Natalia and his name Patrick, Rick?

Wondering your screen name.