karma is active....

[browsin]

Alright, I was trying to decide if I would talk about this but of course I want to...that's why I joined up!

I'm trying to stop myself from possibly making the same mistake, I need to know if you think I should let this guy even get within ten feet of me. We knew each other for three years and were pretty good friends, we had our intimate moments and we also had our arguments; we worked our way through our company together but we never took it to the exclusive level. I wanted to from the very beginning but the time wasn't right, and eventually he made it clear that he only wanted to be casual, but we couldn't leave each other alone completely so for three years we were in limbo; sex, jealousy,intimacy but no commitment. The last year, this past year, I became considerably more successful than him. I moved into a new apartment around the corner from his father's house, where he lived, and we continued with our basically great FWB relationship. But he couldn't handle me seeing other people and he would show up at my apartment unannounced and throw fits around my other "friends." And he started asking me when I was gonna give him a chance, and if I would give him a chance if he had a kid or something. Neither one of us has children, I'm 22 he's 27 now. That threw me off so I asked him if he was expecting a kid but he kept saying no. Anyway, extremely long story short...I quit and now I'm going back to school to continue my education but before I quit he confessed that he got someone pregnant. Which makes perfect sense given all the hints, right!
The girl also works at my former job, and since we were friends first I had asked him years before if he would consider her but of course he denied it, at this time I was with someone myself. I knew she was pregnant, about 7 months, when I left but everyone told me it was someone else's child. When he told me I was pissed! Everyone at the job had been lying to me because they didn't want me to quit, they all thought that's why I was leaving, because I'd found out. Only thing is I know it really is the other guy's child, I'd seen them together plenty of times and a mutual friend told me it really is his. I called my "ex-FWB" and told him he should get a paternity test at soon as the child was born. That was about 7 months ago, and from what I heard he married the girl in a shotgun wedding a few weeks before the due date. He tried to tell me he doesn't care about her and he cheats on her and if it wasn't for the baby, blah, blah, blah. I know when he finds out its not his he's going to try and contact me, but I don't really know how I'm supposed to deal with him at this point or why I should. I still have feelings, and my fear is that within this next month or so when he calls I'm not going to be over him yet and I might give in...

He never cheated on me because we weren't "together" but he also never had the level of maturity and affection I would have expected from someone his age, but more than that I have a fear that I'll never experience a connection like that again. I'm not afraid of the future, I'd just like some insight, different perspectives,things like that...

[Ellynn]

He couldn't commit to you back then, what makes you think he will commit to you now? Plus, now he has all this baggage....a child and also is married now. Sure, he may not love her. But, he decided to marry her(which shows his stupidity) only for the child's sake. He cheats on her now...what makes you think he won't cheat on you? I think any chance you had with him is over with yrs ago. Usually FWB doesn't progress beyond that. That is why it is usually not a good thing to get involved with. Someone always seems to end up hurt because they become attached. I think you should move on. YOu might think that you will never find anything this great again(which honestly isn't all that great), but there are other men out there. Find ones who's NOT afraid of commitment and who wants to be with you and only you.

Then again, maybe thats what drew you to him. The fact that he wouldn't "officially" commit but yet got jealous if you had other people in your life. You thought he felt that way about you, but he just never could commit to anything w/ you. Plus, the fact he was/is a coworker. Not a good combo. Too much drama if you ask me. So why wait around for him?

[Gigabitch]

Gaaaaaahh! Red flags everywhere!

We've all had a guy like this at some point in our lives. Everyone around us wonders what we see in him, and yet, we can't seem to stay away. If you were to write down every bad trait he has it would take up a whole page, right?

I don't know what attracts a normally bright, successful, attractive young woman to a trainwreck like him, but I know it happens and I've been through it myself.

Try to see him as an experience, a lesson learned. Not a potential boyfriend/ FWB/ whatever.

He is unworthy.

[browsin]

LOL! People are right about you...

Quit your day job, you're great!

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, but are you actually going to avoid the trouser snake? I know what those guys are like; they're magnetic. Can you do this? Can you leave him to his well-deserved fate? I recommend:

[Ziffmonger]

Yeah, but are you actually going to avoid the trouser snake? I know what those guys are like; they're magnetic. Can you do this? Can you leave him to his well-deserved fate? I recommend:

Ahahahahahhahahah! Love it! Gig-you are "off the hook"!

[misombra]

bitch spray aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajaja oh shit i'm freakin dying.

[anachronistic]

fragrance free, eh?

[browsin]

The trouser snake...it was a MONSTER! but I'm feeling pretty confident about leaving him alone besides there are plenty of cobras on campus.

BITCH SPRAY, that's cute...if I see any old, ugly biiaaatchs that shouldn't be mating I'll borrow your bottle and get to spritzing