Why must a girl hide her dirty side to nab a guy long term?

[LailaK]

I'm just genuinely curious. I'm not a skank by any means. I can count the amount of guys I've been with on one hand, and it's not even a remotely full hand. I would however label myself as a bit of a slut because once I truly like a guy I can be pretty adventurous.

I'm curious as to why if I hide my slutty side from a guy for as long as possible, basically act like a prude, it seems to be the key to a long relationship. If I reveal any part of that side of myself earlier on, guys tend to pretend they are interested right before running for the hills even before we've had sex. Half of the time I'm just answering their questions honestly. I guess they'd prefer I lie and say stuff like "No I don't like anal, how gross."

Obviously, I will stick to being prudish in the early stages. It's proven to work well for me. I'm just curious as to why I have to do it at all.

Thanks!
Laila

[Chupacabras]

Because guys tend to like discovering more and more about your sexual side as a relationship matures. When you roll out the kink, right away, the thrill of discovery is diminished.

[girl68]

Because he'd love to think that he's the only one that's tapped that virgin asshole of yours.

[lahnnabell]

You are kinky, not slutty. There is a HUGE difference. You should never feel ashamed for the things you like.

However, bringing up something like anal sex should take time. I wouldn't even bring it up when first having sex with a new guy. Some guys need to take some time to get invested in you, and then they may be more interested in seeing new things.

[shheadz]

I really don't have a problem with a girl revealing her wild side very early in a relationship. I'm an adult. I know the girl I'm dating isn't a virgin, and I know she's probably done a lot of crazy things (with possibly a lot of guys), so there's no reason to hide it.

The only problem I have is when it's false advertising. I had an ex that really had both of my heads in a tailspin with all her talk of the fun things she likes to do in bed. When we finally did sleep together she turned out to be a prude. Maybe she was holding back? I dunno. But I ended up feeling like she said all those things just to hook me, and once she had me.. eh.. not so much.

[lhn]

As above. I had an ex who was very open about her sexlife to me in the build up to us having sex. When we did, she lacked the flair i was expecting. Just kinda wanted to screw, no foreplay, no nothing.
After a couple of weeks I just sort of thought... hmmm... i'm a chump.

Nice girl, didn't work out in the end and never really delivered.

[girl68]

I think there's a difference between a little bit shy at first, and the false advertising these men are talking about.

I'm a bit shy at first for sure it takes me a few weeks to even give a man a BJ. But I'll never go on talking about my mad BJ skills and how eager I am to give them... then hold out on that shit. Nor will I bring out my kinky costumes and big red whip when we first start dating. 6 months is when I started to talk about kinky stuff like roleplay, fantasies, toys and all that. I'm shy... at first but if you wait to unleash the beast... I'm fairly confident I was worth the wait... at least for him.

[shheadz]

6 months is when I started to talk about kinky stuff like roleplay, fantasies, toys and all that.

6 months!! Geez.. that's just cruel to make the poor guy wait that long!

[Only-virgins]

I'm just genuinely curious. I'm not a skank by any means. I can count the amount of guys I've been with on one hand, and it's not even a remotely full hand. I would however label myself as a bit of a slut because once I truly like a guy I can be pretty adventurous.

I'm curious as to why if I hide my slutty side from a guy for as long as possible, basically act like a prude, it seems to be the key to a long relationship. If I reveal any part of that side of myself earlier on, guys tend to pretend they are interested right before running for the hills even before we've had sex. Half of the time I'm just answering their questions honestly. I guess they'd prefer I lie and say stuff like "No I don't like anal, how gross."

Obviously, I will stick to being prudish in the early stages. It's proven to work well for me. I'm just curious as to why I have to do it at all.

Thanks!
Laila

I can't speak for them but girls who put off sex away from me to try and bag me as a boyfriend bore me and I end up going somewhere else. No offense but I think you are wrong. I think your issue is that you are going after guys who NEVER in the first place had any intentions of having a relationship anyways no matter which tactic you used.

[Gigabitch]

I'm just genuinely curious. I'm not a skank by any means. I can count the amount of guys I've been with on one hand, and it's not even a remotely full hand. I would however label myself as a bit of a slut because once I truly like a guy I can be pretty adventurous.

You're not a slut, you're just fun! Anyway, like the above poster said, he wants to think he's the first to chart the forbidden terrain. It's pretty common to find a guy who isn't all freaked out if you've slept with other men but the guy that can accept that you've had anal while being choked by a necktie and bound with climbing rope is a rare man, indeed.

[LailaK]

You're not a slut, you're just fun! Anyway, like the above poster said, he wants to think he's the first to chart the forbidden terrain. It's pretty common to find a guy who isn't all freaked out if you've slept with other men but the guy that can accept that you've had anal while being choked by a necktie and bound with climbing rope is a rare man, indeed.

LMAO! Right you are.

I never bring up sexual topics on my own. The guy always does and it's usually after 2-4 dates. I really just answer their questions honestly and some of them get freaked. I think a lot of guys think they want a girl who is sexually adventurous but when it comes down to it they're scared. But I wouldn't want to date a guy who was boring in the sack anyway.

[Perryville]

My general rule is that any woman I meet is as experienced as any other. When we "consummate", the relationship, I do what I like and ask the woman to do what she likes, usually we can find some common ground, somewhere in between. I don't expect a virgin or a prude, and wouldn't want one, if I had one.

[girl68]

6 months!! Geez.. that's just cruel to make the poor guy wait that long!

You don't think he's getting his rocks and jollies off in other ways? If you think this is true, you'd be mistaken.

It takes a while for some feelings to develop before he is privledged enough to see my sexy kinky side. If you ain't up for the wait, you ain't my guy.

[shheadz]

It takes a while for some feelings to develop before he is privledged enough to see my sexy kinky side. If you ain't up for the wait, you ain't my guy.

I'd probably wait because I wouldn't know I was waiting for something. I'm surprised that you'd wait that long. One because it would take 6 months for some real feelings to develop, and two because you're suppressing your own kinky urges for such a long time.

I know you're not saying you have boring sex for 6 months, and then whip out the goodies. Wouldn't it be easier though to date someone that's already on the same sex wave-length as you? So you don't have to hide your true sexy self for so long? That's a good reason to get your sexual desires right out in the open early on in the relationship.

[NeoSeminole]

there's a difference between sharing your freaky side and talking about other dudes you've banged. Nothing wrong with mentioning what you like in bed.