Do I have the wrong attitude?

[kene]

This is more of a general question I could use your help on.

I have a screwed up family, and for whatever reason I kind of felt I was obliged to help out my parents financially, so I was in my mid twenties before I moved out.

Since then, quite a few good things happened to me career wise and my parents (I was born late) can collect their benefits, and I saw my income basically double and now, I'm sure as hell not rich, but I'm making 6 digits a year and live in a nice place overlooking the water in a nice area.

So, my gripe is this, since I've moved out there are three girls that back in the day (when I was living at home) I was wanting to date them and see where it would lead, and they didn't want to (wouldn't even give me a chance) for a variety of weak reasons (one, who is like just a few years older than me said she doesn't date younger men). Now, all of them have shown strong interest in me, one so much so that my friends refer to her as my stalker.

When discussing it with one of my gal pal friends she says that since I moved out these girls realize they have feelings for me but didn't know it before type thing but I guess seeing me as "all independent" made it manifest itself.

I thought that may be true, but felt it was disappointing because I wasn't living at home mooching off people, I was helping/supporting them, and I thought if anything women would see that as a plus because it shows tremendous loyalty toward people I care about. Plus, I am of European background, and I think there's not the same sort of stigma there and family bond tends to mean more.

Now, these girls who all of a sudden want me, I don't want a part of. I feel like it's the equivalent of a chick and some guy had no interest in her until she got a breast implants or something.

Am I being unfair?

[Gribble]

Not unfair. Just dumb. Don't teach them a lesson by avoiding them. Teach them a lesson by sleeping with all three in the span of a week.

[agatha]

no, ur not unfair.
i think they ran after you because
you already have a good job.
thats one thing a girl matter most
on guys nowasdays..

[zebra19]

i think you need to see this clip: in.youtube.com/watch?v=EpEipgoZ3Kk

also, don't be a baby. you wanted them, now they want you too. yes, it's for the money they want you now, and it is obvious, but don't marry them. have your fun, enjoy your time.. it's life.. get used to it.. not always it goes as your principles require you to follow...

[shh!]

Well, a guy living at home with his parents in their mid-20s is not usually looked at as an indication of independence, for whatever reason. Sure, for some it may have to do with educational reasons, or parental health reasons, etc. For many others, it simply has to do with a lack of willingness to take responsibility for themselves. (Did these girls know why you were still at home?)

Quite honestly, if I were considering dating a guy that was responsible for his parents to the degree you were, I would be wondering where it would all end. If I dated and eventually married you, should I expect we would indefinitely support them (financially)? Would I be expected to let them live with me? Would I have to nurse them in their failing health? Do I LIKE them enough to want that kind of responsibility?

Sure, these are questions people should be asking themselves anyway, but I guess when you are facing these realities in your mid 20s when most people aren't thinking about that until maybe their 40s, it kind of makes things a little too real. That you were able to separate yourself from them may have given these girls the ability to see you as a person separate from your parents. Or, it's possible they think you are more attractive when it is obvious you are financially secure.

You KNOW these girls: do you have any *other* reason to believe they are only interested in your money, or are you just being paranoid?