Am I Afraid to be alone?

[mspandaroo]

I always had this feeling that my now ex boyfriend was in love with his close girlfriend. She would never give him the time aside from a friendship but would still call him all the time and they would send each comment messages on myspace and facebook, which would constantly piss me off.

I was his first relationship, he is almost 30 and he's never had anything real or serious, just flings, but him and I dated for 10 months, he went with me to visit my family in Florida and we experienced a lot together.

After 2 weeks of dating, he told me that he can't believe that this is moving so fast and that he loves me. I did not really respond to him, as I really liked him but did not yet love him. We spent all our time together and eventually I told him that I loved him.

Throughout the entire relationship I would ask him how he is feeling and what he feels about me. He would barely express himself. He would just say "I am fine, I am okay.. I'm annoyed with work" or use some other excuse, but never really poured his heart out to me. This bothered me as I would call my family and tell them and they would say "give it a few more months and end if things don't change."

So finally, last week, because I could not get through to him in person, I wrote him a long email explaining how I really cared about him and sometimes I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him and sometimes I just question the entire relationship. I told him that I really love him and wanted to know if he felt the same.

Sadly, he wrote his response back stating that he doesn't want to be with me anymore and did not know how to tell me because he was afraid to break my heart. He also said that I need too much attention. ( I hate sitting around watching tv all day and I'd rather interact and go out and experience life.) When I saw him in person he told me that he was in love with the other girl who he had been messaging on myspace and facebook (something he had always denied but finally his vulnerable state set the truth out).

I am not really that heart broken, as it didn't surprise me that much but more angry that someone could hold their feelings inside for so long and drag out a relationship like that. He was such a coward and so immature.

So this is my 2nd relationship in 6 years. My last one was 4.5 years and then I moved across the country and went directly to this one, not intentionally, but it worked out like that.

I have a feeling I am not really sure how to be alone. I have 2 friends in this new city I live in and my family lives on the other side of the country.

Any advice?

[The_bobb]

F**k him, your better off.

As for being alone? i wouldn't let it bother you. Humans by nature are social creatures. You meet people all time and probably don't even realize it. Hang out with people from work. Go to the bar and just strike up a conversation with someone. Your female it's easier for you =)

Do things you enjoy, you said you don't like watching TV so you must be outside a bit. Meet people doing the same things you enjoy doing and there you have it, common ground.

You'll be fine =) What city do you live in? I travel a lot so i might know some things about it. If you don't wanna say on here, you can just say what state?

Assuming your American =)

[Only-virgins]

It is weird, because while some people fear being alone I fear never being left alone.

[kate_spencer]

I would say, don't be afraid of being left alone.. like what bobb said, you could still meet new people, new friends.. and go out with your friends and make yourself busy.
And for this guy who broke your heart, forget about him, he's such a coward and you're right, immature.
You'll find a better man who will truly love you.