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Thread: hard time going from mean men to a nice guy

  1. #1
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    hard time going from mean men to a nice guy

    Ok I have a very serious question for females. Is it really that hard for a girl to date a nice guy after being hurt by assholes? Heres my delima. I met this girl a little over a month ago. We both really like eachother and have never had an issue. Lately since weve been getting a little more serious she has been starting to get these awkward feelings.

    Before we met she was 3 months out of a really bad relationship. He pretty much used her and treated her like crap. I am 10 months out of a relationship with a girl that was a year out of a divorce. We broke it off cuz she said I was a very good man but she just couldnt deal with a relationship at the time. I knew 3 months was a very short time but we figured we would try it out and see where it would go.

    The first time she had this awkward feeling she told me she didnt know if she was ready for a relationship...she ended up talking to a friend and decided it wasnt worth breaking it off. Now 3 weeks later shes having another awkward feeling. I asked her about it this morning and she said she still wants to be in a relationship with me but she said she needs time to figure out what she has to do to get over her past hurt. She told me she has these feelings cuz she knows Im a nice guy and have treated her right ever since we started seeing each other but its just thats shes not use to being treated good. Its it really that hard? She told me she needs time to figure out how to handle it so these feelings dont ever come around again. She said she wants to fix these feelings cuz shes afraid she not gonna make me happy with her awkward feelings always popping up.

    I stright up asked her if she wants to break it off... she said absolutely not. To me its like shes trying to keep me on a string. She told me she just needs to fix her feelings and everything will be alright. I dont see why it would be so hard for her. Ive just left her alone since this morning, but about an hour ago i get a txt from her that said she loves me....she says it a lot to me. Should I just leave her alone and let her contact me? I feel like im falling right back into my last failed relationship.

    I just dont understand why it so hard for a girl to relize what she has in front of her. She makes me happier than all hell up until she has these feelings. She said she wants to fix them for me but I really hope she means that. Any advice? Im sorry if this is hard to understand. Its hard to write about something I dont fully understand myself.

  2. #2
    sadie_genie's Avatar
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    If she has dated an asshole before, she probably has a hard time trusting that you won't be the same way. She is holding back her feelings until she is sure your feelings are genuine. Having dated an asshole really changes a person. She might not indulge in that sort of naive fairytale ideal of love and is very protective of her heart.

  3. #3
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    Man...I dont know what else I can do to show her my feelings are genuine. I really do love this girl. She tells me almost every day how lucky she is. Should I just let her have her time to figure it out? She said she doesnt want space and shes not shuting me out. She said the way she normally goes about this is by isolating herself so she can figure it out on her own. The main difference between this one and my last relationship is that my last one ran out instead of sticking with it and trying to fix it. This one still wants to be with me and wants to fix her hurt feelings for the both of us...not just herself. When she talked to me she was more concerned about me more than her.

  4. #4
    sadie_genie's Avatar
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    Just give her space like she asked. She will probably come to you when she is ready.

  5. #5
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    I hope so. Thank you. Its really difficult to understand people and relationships. I still cant believe this is the second time ive had this issue. Someones got to like to be with a nice guy.

  6. #6
    sadie_genie's Avatar
    sadie_genie Guest
    Many girls love nice guys. I am dating one right now. <3

  7. #7
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    Im very happy for you! Ya the other manipulators, users and cheaters really make it difficult for some of us. I really hope your right tho. She made it clear that she wants us to stay together...she just wants to right her wrongs first so we can both can be happy...well...thats what i got out of it. My last one just up and quit...now shes back talking to her ex from what I here.

    The reason why I started this post is because sometime I hear what I wanna hear. It helps me to hear others opinions so im not just painting a picture I wanna see.
    Last edited by ufas1987; 23-01-12 at 10:27 AM.

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