What to make of hookup?

[lauren_gal25]

I need guy perspective on this! I met a guy Friday night- out with a group of mutual friends. We'd met a month ago at a party, but didn't hang out then or really remember each other. We talked/flirted Friday night, started dancing later on, things got hot & went to his place. I spent the night but the weird thing is no sex. Everything else but when we started I had to get up to pee and when I came back he said he was tired & just wanted to go to sleep. In the morning we had cereal & watched TV, I left & he did not ask for my # or anything.

So my impression is, it was just for fun, didn't mean anything. We hung out w/same group Sat. night and I talked to him & thought we gave each other the "I want you" look a couple times at the first party, but then later at a club he ignored me and didn't dance with me or anything & am not sure why- if he regretted the night before or just isn't interested in hooking up again or getting to know me or it was just awkward after what happened.

I guess what is really bugging me is, does a guy lose all respect for a girl when this happens? Even though we didn't have sex technically but I spent the night & agreed to do so before we stopped? He was very nice & kept asking if I wanted to go further, if I was ok, & I always said yes. His friends say he is a good guy, granted somewhat of a player, but not an *******. I'm not sure if I'm interested in dating him but I admit I would hook up w/him again- there was definitely chemistry. But what does a guy think about this? Am I now off his "list" b/c he "had me" already by taking me home, or would he hook up again to have sex? Will he respect me and be open to getting to know me if we hang out w/group more often, or write me off as a slut? I am not that way- rarely hook up- & would hate to have him hold that impression of me b/c of one night. I almost want to text & tell him that, but don't want to overreact or make things weird.

Appreciate any thoughts

[TAVS]

Sounds like you're a Slut. What's the rush? Yes; I would lose respect for you and wouldn't have any interest in seeing you again.

[vashti]

You want to know if he will respect you after you hopped into bed with him the first night? Are you kidding?

[Tone]

lauren lauren lauren.....

[Lloyd95]

Oh boy.
Psst, can I have your number?

[lauren_gal25]

Oh my... I guess I should clarify that I'm a virgin, although have had oral a couple times, and really do not want to give it up for this guy unless a serious relationship developed. I realized I am very glad we did not have sex- the only reason I went home w/him & agreed to was b/c I was drunk. I want him to know that, and that I don't mess around too often and want to get to know him better and not have him think I'm cheap. Would it make things weirder if I told him that?

[Converse]

Don't read anything into this forget about it and move on.

[lauren_gal25]

[QUOTE=Converse]Don't read anything into this forget about it and move on.

Ok, yeah, I know- I realized don't want a relationship w/him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, eventually I want to get serious but for now just like to have a good time with a cool hot guy every once in a while, but save my virginity for someone serious. The thing is, this guy is one of the most fun & hot I have met, & I wouldn't mind messing around again if I see him out another night. He is a player and not looking for anything serious & didn't take last wknd seriously, so it would be fun every once in a while, no commitment, ya know? I just don't want him to think I do that w/just anyone and write me off as risky for STDs or whatever. When a guy messes around w/someone, is it just a one-time thing? Wouldn't he want to do it again w/a hot girl knowing no commitment expected?

[Converse]

[QUOTE=lauren_gal25]

Don't read anything into this forget about it and move on.

Ok, yeah, I know- I realized don't want a relationship w/him. I guess what I'm trying to say is, eventually I want to get serious but for now just like to have a good time with a cool hot guy every once in a while, but save my virginity for someone serious. The thing is, this guy is one of the most fun & hot I have met, & I wouldn't mind messing around again if I see him out another night. He is a player and not looking for anything serious & didn't take last wknd seriously, so it would be fun every once in a while, no commitment, ya know? I just don't want him to think I do that w/just anyone and write me off as risky for STDs or whatever. When a guy messes around w/someone, is it just a one-time thing? Wouldn't he want to do it again w/a hot girl knowing no commitment expected?

Yeah, usually unless you become fvck buddies? Have fun stay safe!

[lauren_gal25]

Yeah, usually unless you become fvck buddies? Have fun stay safe!

Oh yeah, definitely safe. Why is that? B/c guys are afraid girl will want commitment or get emotionally attached if more than once? Or other reasons?

[Converse]

Oh yeah, definitely safe. Why is that? B/c guys are afraid girl will want commitment or get emotionally attached if more than once? Or other reasons?

Yep I guess that's basically it all they want is to get laid I guess.

[vashti]

I think on some level, guys will have a certain amount of contempt, disgust and lack of respect for a girl who values herself so little. It is a hypocritical stance, to be sure, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

[lauren_gal25]

I think on some level, guys will have a certain amount of contempt, disgust and lack of respect for a girl who values herself so little. It is a hypocritical stance, to be sure, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Yeah, that is so frustrating to me. Two questions then: 1) Why is it that guys can sleep around and not be considered slutty, but girls can't? 2) Since we didn't have sex but he thinks I'm open to it, will he want to hook up again to do it or is he "disgusted..." like you say and ready to go conquer another girl b/c he thinks he could have me if he wanted and no more challenge? Wouldn't a guy that was with a girl but didn't get to the sex want to hook up again for sex?

[Converse]

Yeah, that is so frustrating to me. Two questions then: 1) Why is it that guys can sleep around and not be considered slutty, but girls can't? 2) Since we didn't have sex but he thinks I'm open to it, will he want to hook up again to do it or is he "disgusted..." like you say and ready to go conquer another girl b/c he thinks he could have me if he wanted and no more challenge? Wouldn't a guy that was with a girl but didn't get to the sex want to hook up again for sex?

I know what you mean, this really pisses me off. It's double standards. It's 2006 For Fvcks Sake not 1902.

[lauren_gal25]

I know what you mean, this really pisses me off. It's double standards. It's 2006 FFS not 1902.

Yeah. So I still really want this guy to know I won't sleep w/just anyone & the only reason I agreed to was b/c I was drunk. Very glad it didn't happen. I don't want him to think I'm slutty and I usually respect myself more and hope he still can. Would it be weird to send a text saying something like that?