Dark and Dreary

[without_wings]

I understand that this part of the forum is titled "Love Poem" but I decided to post this here anyways. Moderators, please feel free to move this thread to where you feel it is most appropriate.

I know that in today's day and age, suicide poems are numerous, but if you could just read mine and offer some feedback, it would help greatly. It will be much appreciated.

Suicide

'its the easy way out'
the counselor repeats.
'its not worth the pain'
she continues to speak.
'your family will grieve'
speaking to the young man.
'everyone has a purpose'
as she offers her hand.
'everyones gonna lose'
a tear in her eye.
'we can get through this together'
she begins to cry.
the young man looks on,
emotion absent from his eyes.
he approaches the edge,
there he stands without replies.
he takes a leap,
the counselor's image in his eye.
he whispers a silent,
and final "Goodbye".


Kennedy Sam Sok

Copyright ©2004 Kennedy Sam Sok

Any kind of feedback would help out immensely.

[ColdSilence]

you've got one once to live you life valuably but why ...
why you have to end up your with death even it can answer you what you want to know.
Don't you think of the consequence?
You are tearing before dying, recognizing the things you love,
and you know not only you who are suffering...
Your family, friends, even me - the one who is wrting this, we both feel in the same way, it is we don't wanna lose you!

So please Come back and figure it out together.
There is only a hope left in the large black box, even some think it's useless but i think it's such a useful tool to make you feel alive again!

[without_wings]

?

[squirrley]

Um this is definetly NOT the place to post this type of poem if thats what you want to call it. However, apparently you have some deep deep issues, which sounds like you're trying to get help. The two that you posted were your own thoughts?

Everybody here needs to jump on this with me, and help this guy out? Innova-MVP-Jane-Zekk-Killerbabe-IceQueen, Alex, And Raverboy...we need to do something for him.

You're not still thinking like this are you? I mean something or someone must be helping you get through your depression right?

[without_wings]

Now now, let's not be so hasty. I did not post that poem as a cry for attention or help. I merely posted itt o get feedback about it. I apologize for placing it in the wrong place in the forum, but I assure you, it's not as you think. It's best to write from experience, and that poem is most definitely from experience. If you would like to discuss that with me, then please do "im" me. Thanks you all for your concern however. It is much appreciated.

[squirrley]

Oh I see, it's cool, theres no need for me to pm ya...
It's what i read it's what I saw.
I will say I'm glad you're not at that point. We've all written from our experiences. I wasnt being hasty by no means, it sounded like you needed help. I was there to jump in that's all.

[jane]

You had me worried to until I read the rest.. you have a interesting obsession with morbid things.. its cool and all.. but your right Scquirrley.. it shouldn't be in this part of the forum. Hopefully, you can get some feedback form Innova... he is ther resident poet!

[squirrley]

Yea see what I'm saying the guy had me freaked out.
I dont want to suggest a place for that kind of stuff...
maybe he needs another forum, who knows, but emotions bring out the best and the worst. I honestly dont know what to say to it all...

[Innova]

Its good, but generally you can't write something relating to such a thing unless you have thought about the subject...or even pondered its existance.

That or like myself, your good at writing whats called "false emotion" writing in which you try to create an emotion which is not there...and turn it into writing. Its a very hard technique, and it drains the hell outta you.

[squirrley]

youre so damn insightful Innova...

[Innova]

thx

[without_wings]

Alright. Thanks for the feedback. Since this post is out of place here, maybe this should be the end of it. Thank you all once again.

More later.

[Innova]

Your more then welcome, its always nice to have more poets hangin around here.