What Should I Do?

[Syn42]

To be as brief as possible, I dated a guy for 8 months. I was his first girlfriend and second lover. He was 23. I'm 22. I have experienced dating and long term relationships. What we had was extremely good. We never fought, had amazing chemistry, were best of friends, and just was a perfect relationship. Except that he would now and again freak out and do stuff behind my back or just be dumb. From what I could tell (I'm good at picking up on these things) he was having the normal OH SHITS and just thinking of other women, and he'd feel horribly guilty like he was betraying me. I understand how confusing it must have been for him, to be so in love with me but have these confusions and doubts as well due to his own lack of experience. How can you tell something is the best if you haven't experienced anything else? I completely get that and suggested open relationship but he was reluctant. I had absolute faith that we had something very important and strong, even though he drove me nuts sometimes. Well, whenever we would break up, we would just be drawn back to each other and it never lasted long. It was brutal to be without each other and just did not feel right. He would cry and be genuinely upset and just feel awful for having these thoughts and confusions. I do feel bad for him, I don't envy him being in that position.

I'm usually a very intelligent, decisive, proud person. Well, as you can tell I am extremely confused.

I caught him cheating on me after we were having some problems. We had broken up for what I thought was the last time, I was ready to move on and let him figure his shit out, and got back together at his pleading. Well not a week after this I caught him cheating when I was out of town for two days and freaked out on his ass. He said he considered us broken up, since he was about to end it anyways. !?!??! Anyways, he started crying after awhile and told me he cheated on me with a chick (she was super ugly) so that we wouldnt get back together and that I didnt deserve all the bull he put me through. I kinda believe him, since we could never part before this. Not that it excuses it, I'm hurt. But I do understand that he was not ready for any form of commitment, and to be honest, I am genuinely happier with my life now. I have accepted why he cheated and honestly, I know that it will **** HIM up more in the long run. I did nothing wrong, but he ended an amazing relationship and he will discover that in the future.


Anyways.. my question is... I do miss him and want to be friends again. Is this a possibility? I don't want to get back together. If we ever tried anything again, it would either be an open relationship or something years from now. ( I doubt we will ever get back together, cheating is a shitty thing to do)

Just want some advice.... I have my head on my shoulders, so I already feel we should not be friends but I miss our connection. I miss him very much even though I am constantly busy with friends. I very much want us to be in contact with each other.

[alovehangoverr]

I understand missing the "connection," but seriously, why would you want to be friends with someone who has so little respect for you AS A PERSON that they'd cheat on you?

Lying and disrespect isn't something I look for in a friendship.

[NeverBeenNLuvB4]

Time will do the healing.