This is my first post here.. looking for help from people who know will listen to me about this..
Don't know what to think, what to see.. how to see things..
That guy and I are friend for 1 yrs and half now..
After about 10 months of friendship..
We flirted but it was cute and light flirt.. text each other cute messages.. call..
we would have these really intense and interresting conversation.. and he opened up to me more then some people.. he told me about his mom who passed away 2 yrs ago.. things he dont talk about openly at all..
We would talk with friends and he would say something.. and i would say, ha! i knew you would say that.. and he would say.. ya you know me.. and me.. i do yah! and would smile at each other.. something really close and nice..
He invited me on dates before.. 3 times.. and each time he backed down.. saying, nah its not a good idea.. and then not talk to me for a while.. then come back in my life..
One time i said, Listen.. whats going on? and he got almost mad.. saying forget abot me ok? and he didnt talk to me for a while.. and came back after a while...
I am a really comprehensible girl so, I just said ok.. he got scared.. i cant be mad at him for that.. and we would be friend again like nothing happened..
in october he said he had feelings for me.. that he been for a while.. and cause he went to college outside the city, he live in a dorm and we coudnt see right away.. we were texting and calling.. and saying how we would kiss when we see.. cuddle be together..
Then, he got problem at school and said, i cant see you right now.. i need to fix stuff with school.. im about to get kicked out..
I said, ok take the time you need to fix everything, ill wait for you to have time..
I didnt hear from him for a month..
then, around thanksgiving..
He sent me a message on msn saying he got kicked out of school.. and he was back home.. we talked and we were close like before.. but after 3 days he started to push me away, he was extremely down and didnt want to see anyone..
His friend would call and text and he didnt answer them, but when i was the one doing it.. he was texting me back right away..
Then, he was one night on msn.. he come back home and he is drunk.. he say "i like you.. do you like me?" and i say "lol its a real question or you quote Borat" and he said both..
I told him yes i do like you
and then he didnt answer for a few.. cause he was in a game at the same time, he came back and said, i dont feel good.. ill go sleep.. ill talk to you tomorrow..
Then, he saw something I wrote on a website we both go to, its similar to myspace/facebook but different.. but we have profiles there.
In my profile i say "i have feelings for ..name of the person I talk about here.."
He sent me a message saying "what you wrote about me is crazy" and i said.. "what do you mean its crazy" and he said its just crazy insane..
I sent him a private message asking..
hey i know im smart (cause he always say im very smart and we joke about that) but what do you mean its crazy insane? do you mean that i have mental problem cause i like you or that its kewl that i do..
he said.. not to be mean but i think your kinda f-BEEP-ed in the head if you have feelings for me
I didnt answer to that yet..
Im shocked, pissed and confused..
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I don't know what to think.. but most importantly.. i don't know what to do.. at all..
Also, i know that everything he said to me is true.. him having problems at school.. its not just an excuses he said to not see me.. he really had problems
(i had people telling me, you sure he had problem or it was just an excuses.. but i know its true.. he was failling his tri and things were bad)
I thank you for your answers and your help with my problem