since this is the most active forum...

[aznmagicguy]

i need help...

there is this girl (read: the love of my life) that i've been with for 2.5 years. we broke up, but it wasn't really a breakup because we kept seeing each other. we still had feelings for each other. i was about to get back with her, i was doing stuff to surprise her.

what i did:
i took about a week to make a banner with words saying how much i love her and asking her back, and random stickers about her beauty and cuteness, and pictures of us, and our "family" of stuffed animals. i took another week to make a pop up book that journeyed how we first met, how we became friends, lovers, breakup, and lovers again. i also planned to drive her to the beach and spend half the day together. i also planned a cake with 1 candle so she could make a wish and blow it out like a celebration. i also bought 2 tickets to disneyland, 1 day hop passes.

what happened:
i was planning to give this to her the next time she came back home, which was just in 2 weeks. those two weeks would have been the greatest mistake to wait on ever. the first week she met a guy on myspace, and started seeing him in person. the 2nd week, she declared herself his gf and him her bf. how could it be that she would throw away all the love we shared, for just 1 week of knowing this guy? she confuses me as well. she said she still wanted to be not just friends but best friends. but she played with my heart. iono. she told me she doesnt wanna face me, and she doesnt wanna accept my gifts. she basically didn't wanna talk... yet she called me and texted me still, and i'm confused. does she care about me still? or is she just caring as a friend? i dont know what to believe.

it's been 5 days since she told me. the day she told me, she was already with him for almost a week. so i never knew. she was still seeing me while being his gf. for these 5 days, i never got a good night sleep (waking up every hour in pain, heartache, emptiness). i havent eaten (as hard as that may sound, i only drank water for the past 5 days. i tried eating today, but my body couldnt take it in anymore). i don't know what to do. i still have a shred of hope that she still cares about me, and she still loves me deep down. i want to wait for her. i love her with all my heart, and i will never move on...iono. maybe it's because i'm in such heartache that i'm thinking this.

i'm sorry, i just really need help... i've gone crazy. i'm destroying everything in my house. i just don't know what to do anymore. she was my one true love. we got so far in the relationship that i never even imagined of this happening. it's surreal, unreal.

what do you guys think? this really hurts me...



the previous was written yesterday, and i have more to add today:


i have a xanga [i wont say what it is] and she was the one that got me into it... so yeah. after all this happened, i was compelled to write my first private entry in my xanga. i just let out my emotions, everything, about how much i love her... and everything i've done. thing is, she went into my xanga, and she read it. she knows what i've done. and iono what she's feeling... i was happy when she called me and txted me yesterday, but apparently her bf got mad and she isn't doing it today... iono. i'm confused about her feelings. i keep having this small hope that what we've been through would still be there deep down in her heart.

i just really can't move on. i've tried... but everything i've done, even when i've tried, still reminds me of her. everywhere i go is a place that we had once shared special memories at. everything i have of hers i still use, such as cards (i'm a magician), t-shirts, dvds, and i treasure everything else she gave me, such as stuff animals, little plastic rubber figurines, little angel figurines, everything.

it hurts me so much... how can she just get with this new guy in such a short time and possible throw away everything that we had with each other? is it a spur of the moment? she met the guy on myspace.. ahh..

it used to be every day that i wake up and look forward to talking to her and seeing her, but now i wake up in a nightmare, knowing that i cant talk to her the same way if at all... i lost the feeling that got me through the day, and i don't know what to do.

i refuse to believe she feel for me at all anymore... not after all we've been through.

[mhussain]

prepare urself mate.....for a long drawn out pain....ur will get depressed horribly , the angry then depressed then voilently carefree and the angry again and the cycle will go on.... or u can choose to feel the pain and take care of urself....tell me even if she decides that u r her mate for life........ what kind of mess would she be coming back to when u dont eat for 5 days straight?

dont get up ur hopes....dont think she threw away ur love.........dont ever ever think that simply becoz she cant....coz she loved u....had she thrown ur love...she wouldnt have valled or texted messages.....dont think of solutions in ur head....

mate..i can try to understand ur pain.......have gone through it myself.hell who on this forum hasnt..at one time or the other!!!!! but only u can fel ur pain.i am sorry mate i really am that u have to go through this.........

just dont make urself a wreck by doing this to urself............

and i know that u dont believe it right now....but TIME will heal all.......it will never make u forget her and u shouldnt...but it will one day hopefully give u the strength to live life in peace without having to know the answers to the questions u want so desparately answered now................

i hope that things work out for u....and remember for good decent guys... there is always a good decent girl(otherwise i am in trouble)

Hussain

[LightOn]

aznmagicguy,

2.5 years, that is some time to spend together. My guess is that she feels responsible for your grief, and the guilt is causing her to feel obligated to contact you. Which in turn seems to be causing you even more grief. If she got with someone while only knowing them a week then she was ready to move on and so should you

All the effort you put in to the "reuniting" of the both of you could also be another reason you feel hurt. Because there was no reuniting.

Unfortunately she does not care how you want her to care, 9/10 she cares more of what you think of her than she does you, and that is one of the reasons she continues to contact you. She may not even realize that.

My best advice is to avoid her at all costs, put forth no more effort in to her. You know that you can't live like you are now, so stop living that way and find a new way to enjoy life. Give up on her and let the healing begin!

Buy a pet, invest in stock, buy a sports car or something.....the point of this is, is for you to put something important in to your life to take your mind off her.

[bebi]

aznmagicguy,

after reading what you've typed on this forum, you seem like the attached type that can not easily let go of someone. you need to learn that letting go is all a part of a process that we learn in life. it may be hard to let go at first, but eventually you'll adhere to the concept. there is always more to life than what you see before your very own eyes. sound familiar? sometimes old cliches can mean more than you think they mean compared to the shallow surface meanings.

how were you so sure that she still had feelings for you? from what i'm reading, i feel that you probably forced your feelings upon her to build up guilt on her. this would probably explain why she wanted to be your friend/best friend because you made her continue to be your friend or you'd probably do something outrageous (seeing at the end of your post that you destroy every object in sight without true reasoning).

in addition, from this love story of yours, you seem to value your perspective and not the girl that you somehow call the "love of your life." what did she really think? if you truly did value her, would you really have put her through all that you did? you would have jumped right into it and asked her out again before anything would have happened. why wait two weeks if you call her the love of your life? did you really think that time was going to sit still and wait for you? time always moves on and so do people. then again, maybe it is for the better that she found another guy who is treating her well and keeping her happy. he seems protective of her since he got mad when you were texting her, but he does have the right to do that. he's not going to let some crazy psycho ex get to his gf and get in the way. this is a typical love relationship tactic. maybe you weren't too protective of your gf, seeing that you would freak out to something as simple as that.

the fact that you're hurting yourself physically and emotionally does not have anything to do with her. you decide what you do with life and hence, i really do think that it is your fault for going through this whole rollercoaster without even knowing.

perhaps you need some consulting if you are destroying every inanimate object in your house because of a love relationship. if things were meant to be, you two would have found a way to each other. however, if by now you two aren't together, then that kind of tells you something. it was your loss and whatever you lose, you can't gain back. you simply need to move on and acknowledge that she's better off in the care of another guy. you can't expect some poor girl to wait for you with each and every single day of her life when she could make a wiser choice and move on. why anchor someone to a point where they cannot move and have them under your command/control? now, that's harsh. God probably decided that she needed to be with someone else who could definitely keep her content.

choices are made in life and only the best ones are kept.

[celestina]

i need help...

there is this girl (read: the love of my life) that i've been with for 2.5 years. we broke up, but it wasn't really a breakup because we kept seeing each other. we still had feelings for each other.

Now this is where you were wrong in the first place. You obviously still had feelings for her, but apparently, she didn't. Otherwise why break up in the 1rst place? She stayed in touch with you because it's hard to completely disconnect from someone whom we've been with the last 2.5 years of our lives.

it's been 5 days since she told me. [...] i don't know what to do. i still have a shred of hope that she still cares about me, and she still loves me deep down. i want to wait for her. i love her with all my heart, and i will never move on...iono. maybe it's because i'm in such heartache that i'm thinking this.

5 days is very few. Sometimes it take months, in some extreme cases, years, to recover from a heartache.

Don't self-destruct. You might feel like nothing else matters, but one thing does for sure: you.

[celestina]

why wait two weeks if you call her the love of your life? did you really think that time was going to sit still and wait for you? time always moves on and so do people. then again, maybe it is for the better that she found another guy who is treating her well and keeping her happy. he seems protective of her since he got mad when you were texting her, but he does have the right to do that. he's not going to let some crazy psycho ex get to his gf and get in the way. this is a typical love relationship tactic. maybe you weren't too protective of your gf, seeing that you would freak out to something as simple as that.

bebi, you're being way to rough. This guy is having an emotional breakdown, which may lead to nonsense & violence but this doesn't mean this person is indeed a "crazy psycho ex", and also doesn't indicate in any way that this depicts his everyday behavior.

aznmagicguy must've been madly in love with this girl, happens to all of us.

He needs support, not to be kicked while he's already down.

* * *

Just noticed this thread is 2 years-old -.- Vashti must officially hate me now.

[bebi]

bebi, you're being way to rough. This guy is having an emotional breakdown, which may lead to nonsense & violence but this doesn't mean this person is indeed a "crazy psycho ex", and also doesn't indicate in any way that this depicts his everyday behavior.

yes, i may have sounded a bit harsh, but i'm trying to get my point across. obviously this forum is for advice so no hard feelings. you either choose to listen to a suggestion or you don't. no harm done.

Just noticed this thread is 2 years-old -.- Vashti must officially hate me now.

your point being?

[squirrley]

Im sure just about everyone on here has had a similar experience and it down right just sucks. The only thing I can say is that in time things will begin to get better for you, no matter what happens. I know Ive been there and it took me a long time to recover from the BS. Years later I look back and think to myself why in the hell did I spend so much time pining over him?? Its not worth it! You have to let go. As hard as it is, the reality of it is she's seeing someone else. You have to accept it. I ripped through things too. Even had a bonfire, my brothers took EVERYTHING I had of our relationship and we burned it ALL! Of course I sobbed for hours, but it was a way of venting and closing that chapter in my life.

Your world seems as though its over, but its not. Other doors will open for you, and other dreams become reality. You may not see it now, but trust me, one day you'll look back and think the same thing. You'll find someone whose just as if not better!!

Take the time and talk to friends, get out of the house, do things to occupy your thoughts. Im sorry this has happened to you. You will get through it! Hang in there!