Not getting enough sex in my relationship is making my daily life hard

[4dvz]

I`ve been together with my gf for 1,5 years now. For the first year we had really active sex-life, at least once a day, many times even more.
Lately I have been forced to take note that most of the time these days I`m desperate for sex and my girlfriend gives it to me like 1-2 times/week which is WAY less than I need.
I have told my gf that it bothers me and I want more like we used to have. She tells me that it`s only normal for sex to drop at this level after 1,5 years, but it doesn`t mean that she wouldnt want to be with me and she kisses and cuddles me all the time, and sends me love-messages during work-days.

I find myself experiencing this desperate lust for my gf.. I love her body, and I want to have sex with her all the time, and I can`t focus on anything else anymore. Its just driving me insane.. All the times she has rejected my attempts, all the times I have had to suppress my desires because of her unwillingess. As I`m writing this text, I`m on the verge of mental breakdown.

I have to satisfy myself every day many times, and even that is hard because I can`t watch porn while my gf`s at home and she is at home a lot. So even at home, I need to satisfy myself in secret.

This all has led me into wanting to cheat on her.. I just can`t take it. I have practically begged for some kind of sexual activity with her so many times.. I feel like I have been deceived and cheated, because I tought she had the same desires as I did.

Other than sex, our relationship is perfect and I have nothing to complain about; we have romance etc things are well. And read this: Everytime we have sex, I make sure my girlfriend gets an orgasm, and most of the times she gets it. The only times when she doesn`t, she has told me that she cannot have it this time and I have stopped and it`s ok
. But our sex is amazing, every freaking time we have it, and still it`s so hard to get it from her altough she gets an orgasm about 95% of the times!! (she`s not the type of girl who fakes it, believe me. and she would have no reasons to do so because she can tell me if she can`t have it at the time)

Has any guy solved how to make a girlfriend want more sex? Should I stop expressing my lust for sex for a time being, and refuse to have sex with her in order to make her appreciate it more?
Or even better can a girl tell me what to do in this situation? All the help is appreciated.

[vashti]

I would rather you told me you were so desperate you were actually thinking of cheating, rather than have you sneak off and do it without warning. Give her a chance to remedy this or call it quits if your needs are so vastly different.

[dewilliams2]

Sounds like you just have a very active sex drive. One thing you can do if you really love her is just accept that its the way things are going to be and your gonna get familiar with your hand....or you could talk to her and tell her you physically need more and really love her and maybe she will give ya a little more sex.

Or you can leave her and find somebody with a comparable sex drive.

Seriously you might try to give it a rest though...I know its kinda hard to do the first day or 2 of nothing (sex or jakin it) but by day 3-4 its weird how it doesn't bother you as much and then the sex is really great...I'm speaking from experience....you have more energy to at least this is my experience. You may be a little more irritable than usual but not much, but I'm very easy going as it is so if you have a high temper then maybe it isn't for you.

[4dvz]

Yeah that would sound wise, to talk to her about how things can pan out in worst case scenario if this keeps on.. But, I have talked about it many times and it just makes things worse. She starts to feel that she is required to have sex even if she wouldn`t be into it at the moment. It doesn`t work that way, I have tried. She only got sad. If I would tell her that I might cheat on her if I don`t get enough sex, she would not react well.

And I`m not leaving her over this, I love her and we live in the same apartment and everything else is fine. And even tough it sounds unethical and lacks morale, I would rather cheat than leave in this situation. I have never been a cheater, and I disrespect it really much. But once again I have never been in this type of situation neither, and I`m convincing myself that I have the right to fulfill my needs. It would feel stupid to throw away otherwise perfect relationship.

Mmmm I don`t want to give it a rest in that perspective that I would stop fulfilling my own needs. I`m addicted to sex, and I don`t concider it a bad thing because sex is fun and good thing in every way possible.
And before I even started dating my girlfriend, I told her that I`m a sex addict.

I`m currently proceeding with the plan of not showing any signs of sexual desire towards her for a time being. I have never refused to have sex with her even if I was dead tired or sick. Maybe it has been too easy for her to get sex?

But seriously, this is eating my brains. At work, at public places, I find myself thinking only about sex. I have trouble doing my work at the office because I only thing about freaking sex. I have never experienced this kinds of symptoms before even when I was single.

[Krissykris]

Okay you need to think here. WHY does your girlfriend have a low libido? What has changed from the beginning of the relationship to now? Has the romance gone out the door? Probably..... probably you guys are use to one another and just 'expect' things to roll along in bed without extra effort. Everythings boring now yada yada.

She probably just needs to be romanced. Man you boys are so lazy with it, you go into autopilot and forget that we (girls) have needs mentally. Of course she finds you physically yummy considering she's still doing you 1-2 times per week. She just needs a little extra something in her sex. Once you get the ball rolling again it will go for a while, but then you have to put effort in again to keep it going, it's not like one shove will keep the ball rolling forever.... It's up to her to, although girls can go without sex longer (well some, not all).

[Kaius]

Ok...1-2 / week is not unusually infrequent. My woman and I would love to do it 2 times a week, but we are too busy with kids and life and stuff. When we have sex, we do it for at least 4 hours at a time. I find her so incredibly sexy and beautiful, and I want her all the time. However, I am okay with not having sex with her at all, as we are starting over right now and we agreed to wait for sex. If you give sex a break, you can appreciate the other fine aspects of your partner. I really enjoy having her as my best friend, and talking to her for hours. We cuddled last night for 5 hours, and it was so amazing....as good as sex. My point is, think of her outside of sex...and you may discover an intimacy beyond your expectations.

[OneQuestion]

I'm with you. My girl doesn't please me as often as I would like. We do have sex often - 4 times a week usually at least. But she can easily go for a week without sex...

Maybe if she isn't horny, she will still please you, just not through intercourse. Perhaps you could trade her a back massage for a hand job or blow job?