Is he for real?

[googlie]

Hi, i've known this guy for almost a year and i've had feelings for him from day one, however i'm married (now separated) and he's in a relationship and despite my feelings and the fact that there's definitely chemistry there, I had never thought anything would come of it. My husband and I have been out a few times socially with this guy and his partner and he (the guy) seems to only have eyes for me and always sits/stands with me and is basically wherever I am. Then, seven months after we met, I was out socially with him and his partner and friends and I had a few to drink and got upset about my marital situation and basically opened up my heart to them all and said how unhappy I was in my marriage, etc... At the end of the night, this guy and his partner see me home in a cab and he walks me to my door which is out of view and a short walk away. I thank him and turn to go inside and he asks me to kiss him, so I laugh and say sorry forgot and kiss him on both cheeks, ie, kiss him goodnight and turn to go again. He then says not like that, on the mouth, so I, still not thinking anything of it, give him a peck on the lips and turn to go again. He then says, no, a proper kiss. I'm completely not expecting this and I say I can't because of his partner and my husband. He just stands there, doesn't put a hand on me, isn't forceful in any way but doesn't take his eyes off mine and says kiss me. I wanted to kiss him so much and minutes go by with him looking at me and saying once more, kiss me, but in the end I close the door on him before I do. Naturally, i'm now thinking that maybe he feels the same way about me as I feel about him. I see him a couple of weeks later and there is eye contact there but nothing happens as we're with our partners. While all this is going on, my husband and I are talking about separating and this guy knows all about this. About four weeks later, just before we separated, I was out with my husband and this guy walks into the bar with some friends. My husband goes home and I stay out with this guy and his friends for a while longer. He suddenly says shall we go home now and I say OK as he's seeing me home in a cab, so we say our farewells to our friends and head out of the bar (his partner didn't come out that night). As soon as we're out of the bar, he puts his arm around me. In the taxi, I tell him that I don't understand what he's thinking and what he wants and he says I want you. We get out of the taxi and he kisses me. He says it's complicated but he wants me, that he's wanted me since the first time we met, that he thinks about me all the time. I feel exactly the same as him but I don't tell him as he's drunk and I don't know if he means it or not. He actually ends up throwing up as he's drunk too much and he then walks home. I email him a few days later asking if he remembers the night and if it really meant something but I get no reply. I then see him a couple of weeks later and he maybe seemed a bit nervous at first but then was his usual self with me, again with eye contact. Then a couple of weeks later i'm at a fair with my mum and friend (i've now separated from my husband) and I see him there with his partner and both their parents. The firework display is about to start and his partner and her parents and his parents go off to watch them, but he stays at the bar with me, my mum and her friend. I say let's watch the fireworks and he says come with me and leads us in the opposite direction to his partner and family. We stand watching the fireworks with my mum and her friend right there and he stands so close to me that our arms are touching the whole time. Once the fireworks have finished he says his goodbyes and goes off to find his family. Since then, i've emailed him and asked him if we can meet and talk, but he didn't reply. I've seen him to talk to and he's asked me how I am, and if my husband knows it's over and if I need to find a job now, etc... He waves and smiles at me if I pass him in the car. I just don't know what his intentions are, whether he does really like me or whether he's playing me. What do you think?

[Aeradalia]

I think you need to finish with one problem before taking on another. Go through your divorce, make sure that is officially ended. THEN spend some time alone... no romantic relationships so you can put your emotions back in order. You can't see what's going on because you are confused by all that is happening. Let the dust settle by ending it with your husband and giving yourself a chance to just slow down.

This guy isn't willing to leave his partner... so that tells you everything you need to know. He'll just bring more stress into your life. After your divorce, and a few months after that... if he is single again... then by all means try to see if you two can get along.

But right now, you're on the rebound and he's flirting with disaster. You both need to be single and have had some time to clear your heads, before either of you jump into the next relationship.

[Tug]

The guys married and it doesnt sound like he's going to divorce his wife to be with you. Let it go, find someone who isnt taken.

[_bebedreams]

yeah . i agree with tug

[girl68]

Likely he is also just unhappy...

He might "want" you, but he just wants to conquer you, not take you love, you, and be your bestfriend.

Don't give in.

[IndiReloaded]

What Daila said. Don't borrow trouble. Sort out your own life first.

This guy sounds predatory. A real friend wouldn't try to take advantage of you during a difficult time. Plus, he's in a relationship with someone. Think about what that means about his level of respect for you, his partner and himself. Sounds selfish and like someone who can't delay his own wants for someone else's well-being. Don't you think?

[Yggdrasil]

He doesn't want you, he wants pussy (right now your pussy).