Hi people,
I'm new to this forum, looking for advice. I`ve been dating this girl for almost 3 years (in 1 month or so), and we`ve been living together since it has been 6 months together.
At first we had a long-distance relationship and could only see each other every 2 weeks.
We managed to keep that going until I moved over to her city.
After a while I couldn`t stand that place (it was soooo boring ) so we both moved back from where I was from.
She likes it here, says she wouldn`t ever move away.
Many things have happened, and she always sticked with me, which made me love her even more.
We invited her sister in our appartment because she wanted a place to stay for her college classes away from home.
So we let her in. About 3 months after this, she left for really weird reasons (long story with her parents too, but not relevant here).
But this made my girlfriend not talk to her parents since (since around half of September).
Now we were stuck with the too big appartment we moved into (two bedroom) paying only the both of us.
That caused a lot of stress between us having to tighten the belt to pay this larger rent. But we did it.
And the my girlfriend started her new nursing classes, 7 weeks ago. I started to see that she seems not to care about me from about that time. She took a 1 week off before school from work to "relax", but she went out clubbing every 2 days. She hadn`t saved enough money for school either, and thought she was getting much more money from her student loan. So basically I`m here paying for almost everthing. We used to share the payments for the car and insurance, now i`m all paying this. She`s still managing to pay for the rent, but I don`t know when she`ll come to me saying she can`t.
She hasn't worked since she started school saying she has to focus on her studies, but she`s been going clubbing a minimum of 2 times a week, and even 4 times in 2 of those weeks.
So I`m feeling here that she is using up all the money she can on clubbing while i`m here paying for basically HER car (because I have another car from my job, not using the one i`m paying for).
And to make it all worse, I`ve found out she has been lying to me for several things that I couldn`t understand why. Things like money-related things (she`s trying to get a loan from every frickin bank there is instead of working). She`s been out clubbing alone with a guy-friend we met just a couple months ago when we moved.
Then, she comes to me last week saying she wants to take like a 1 year break so she can be free from all she would have to do if she were with me (call me, tell me where she is, not go clubbing every often to take time with me ... ) I feel so left out. She says she still loves me but I don`t buy it anymore. So I asked her if it would be possible to still go out like she feels but still make room for me, because i`ve been sandwiched out from her friends and school.
I understand her need to do crazy things and let go (she`s going to be 20 in just 4 months). But what I don`t understand is why it has to be one or the other... me or the friends and clubbing
What's so hard about all this is that she has no one around her that can help her. She doesn 't talk to her parents, all her friends are far away to college too. So we are going to live together whatever happen until the first of july, when me move.
I don`t what to do. I feel so pointless around here. I'd feel like leaving everything and just taking 5 years alone in the woods. I don`t want to hurt like this. It's so painful to see the one I love say she loves me but doesn`t really want to share anything with me , doesn`t want to make the smallest effort anymore just to be able to do whatever she wants whenever she wants.
I`m sure I haven`t been all clear with all this, because it isn`t really to me either.
If anyone has advice or wants to help me clear things out, it would be really appreciated.
Thanks,
Kory