girlfriend really starting to let herself go

[help]

hi, ive been dating my girlfriend for 2 1/2 years and things have been great. i want to start by saying she is great shape. she has a great body, a great face, and great hair, and a great personality to match, and i always tell her this. but lately it seems like shes stopped caring.

lately she hasnt cared to shave her legs or her armpits. it is kinda weird and i wish she would do it but for some reason she doesnt do it nearly as often as most other girls do, or as much as she used to. she also has quit shaving her bikini area which i used to really like. she grows hair on her upper lip and used to always wax that when it got to be too much, now she lets it grow out, i can feel it when i kiss her, i dont like it so much. she used to get her butt waxed as well but shes stopped doing that and now she as a hairy butt lol. she also has recently gotten a yeast infection taken care of. she had this yeast infection for a year before she did anything about it. i really used to like to go down on her, but while she had her yeast infection it was really discusting. she recently got another yeast infection. i understand its a pain in the butt to always go to the doctor to get a yeast infection taken care of, but it is just really really gross to let it stay in you for a year. she has also in the past 3 weeks gained about 10 pounds . but you cant even tell shes gained weight and i still think she looks great.

i always tell her nicely that i would really like it if she would take care of these things, but she never does anymore. we also recently broke up because she said she feels like crap that i criticize her so much. i really dont criticize her, i always try to be nice as possible to her about it, and i worry that she doest care about me enough anymore to keep herself looking nice. i used to slack of about shaving and would grow some facial hair a little over a year ago. she complained that it didnt look good and that it hurt her face when we kissed, so since then i always shave my face every day. she also (i think) wants to get back together so thats going better now.

i dont know what to do and would like some advice about the situation.

[help]

ooh, i forgot to mention, she has also started drinking waaay more often than usual with her friends, she now smokes cigarettes when she drinks, and has also picked up on smoking weed. this makes me really upset and pretty sad as well.

edit: i keep thinking of more strange things, but lately she has also stopped brushing her teeth at night, and i have no idea if she does during the day either! and shes in school to become a dentist of all things!

[vashti]

she sounds depressed.

[help]

i also recently went through a depression that lasted about 8 months. she is a very happy person and still seems to be happy. and he doesnt seem to act depressed like i did or other people i know that have gone through it. i have asked her if she feels depressed and she aways tells me no.

[I Found Him]

I made a pact with my partner at the start of our relationship that if there was something either of us didnt like about the other one (within reason) we would change it. So far, its worked out well. Its never easy being told that it's time for a wee workout but at the end of the day, when you look good, you feel good. Just because youre in a relationship does not mean that you can become a slob.

And slob she is. A yeast infection for a year??? Yuck. ten pounds in 3 weeks? never mind if she looks any different, it's so bad for her health. Not to mention the smoking drinking and drugs.

I reckon its ultimatum time. I would much rather someone gave it to me straight and said 'look, i love you and ill always think you're beautiful and sexy. But i feel like you dont want to make the effort for me anyomre. it's such a turn on seeing you so feminine and elegant. but when you don't make any effort, it makes me feel that you dont care what i think and that you'd rather we just be friends'.

At first,she'll probaby be hurt and angry but in the long run she should see sense. if she's not willing to accept that she's in the wrong, maybe its time to move on to someone that is a bit more boned up on personal hygene.

[help]

i made a pact with her if i shaved she had to as well. she held up on her end of the deal for 2 weeks. im still holding up on my end of the deal, a year or more later. i just talked to her and i pointed out all of the things that were bugging me. she said she doesnt wax her stache because she forgets, she doesnt shave because she doesnt have shaving cream (so go buy some!), and she gained weight because when shes bored she eats.

she also told me shes only smoked cigarettes twice, that she hardly drinks, and that she will not quit smoking weed, because she likes to do it with her roommates (who i do not lke, for this reason). basically there is an excuse for everything and my complaints hold not weight with her at all. i told her i think i might have to go find a girl who has better personal hygiene, her response was "i guess i could go buy some shaving cream".

also everytime i complain about her smoking or hanging out with other guys while with her girlfriends (these guys want her in the sack, she tells me the things they say), she says its one of the reason she broke up with her because i make her feel trapped. what boyfriend in their right mind wants their girlfriend hanging out with guys who want nothing more than to have sex with her, and with people who smoke weed constantly? i have no problem with other people smoking weed, infact i have quite a few friends that do. but for so long she said she would never do weed because its stupid and not good for her. now all of a sudden sense she moved in with the roommates from hell, shes a pot smoker, not cool.

[girl68]

She's changed, and she shouldn't just change JUST to keep you. She should change to remain a decently healthy, happy person. That's not too much to ask nope.

It would be a little to much to ask that she remain skinny, and 25-year-old like for the rest of her life. But that's not what we're talking about (I hope)

[help]

her weight isnt an issue really, she looks great in my opinion.

[girl68]

^ Just checking!

Basic hygine is a given: single or taken.

[Junket]

Ew, get away from it quick!

[Mish]

also everytime i complain about her smoking or hanging out with other guys while with her girlfriends (these guys want her in the sack, she tells me the things they say), she says its one of the reason she broke up with her because i make her feel trapped.

She broke up with you?

[bluesummer]

Ew, come on. A yeast infection for a year? All it takes is a trip to the drugstore, and you can have that nastiness cleared up in three days.

So she doesn't shave, is gaining weight, doesn't take care of her health, and is taking on poor addictive behaviours......why do you want to get back together with her again? She might improve for awhile, but once she gets 'comfortable' again don't be suprised if she reverts back to her lazy and reckless behaviour.

[lostinconfusion]

yeast infections are gross and an incredible discomfort so if she let that go for a whooooole year, it's not just you she doesn't care about, it's herself. a person should take care of themselves not just for other people, but because they respect themselves. yea her weight might not make her look bad right now, but image 10 years form now, beh.

[Liza]

that yeast infection needs to be taken care of... she needs to go see a doctor...usually when a yeast infection last that long... it is because there is some other medical reasons... e.g. STD

[Gigabitch]

Yeah, that yeast thing is gross. Hairy legs are one thing, but that is quite another.