2 Year Relationship Instantly Ended

[refc]

I just had a two year relationship take a unexpected turn into pure misery. I am 22, she is 21 and majoring in theater arts. I met this girl about two years ago at a friends party. I had never seen her before, but we did go to the same high school. I was instantly attracted to her and knew i wanted to get to know her better. We met a few more times through friends and started to talk and get to know each other. So we became friends over the next 2 months before we had started dating. We started dating and it was a little difficult to plan when we could see each other. Living with roommates was not exactly the privacy we needed to relax and enjoy each others company. I would say about 3/4ths of a year went by and we were as happy as can be. I told her i wanted to get my own place so we could have somewhere to be alone and she agreed it was a fantastic idea. Then our first anniversary came and went. It had already been a whole year and i couldn't have been more in love with this girl. I land a good job making more than enough to pay for an apartment. A month after our first anniversary i moved into my own apartment. I was so excited that i had achieved exactly what i planned for us. I told her she could come and stay with me whenever she wanted. So she started staying with me, which turned into practically living with me. I was working 5 days a week 8-10 hours a day. She had part time work as a waitress and school and rehearsals for her performances. It started to become an every day routine. I would tell her every morning that i loved her and that i would see her soon after work. She always replied with the same. There were a few bumps in the road along the way. She had a problem about drinking and driving that would make me so worried and angry. I explained to her that i loved her so much and didn't want anything to happen. She fought me about why she should be able to. In the end i got the best of her. She would ask me sometimes after i got out of work if i wanted to go to the bar or to the club. I was always so exhausted from work i just wanted to get off my feet and relax. I never liked her being out and drinking, because she would always over due it almost every time. So she held a grudge against me for a while about not wanting to go out for a drink. That problem ended for a while and resurfaced only one other time causing another fight. The relationship got back on track and we were happy again, for a few months. Then i started noticing a change in her attitude. She complained of being constantly tired and didn't want to be touched or bothered. She didn't want any affection whatsoever. We started having sex less often than we usually did. When we would go to bed, she would turn her back to me and not even say a word. I would lay next to her wondering what the problem was, but she said it was nothing. Some times if i tried to cuddle with her, she would just tell me not to or sigh and shrug me off. It was rare to hear her say i love you before going to sleep. I didn't know what it was so i thought maybe she was just really tired. This lasted for about 2 months. She would tell me she loved me when i told her. She was happy when i would take her out to dinner. I would bring her flowers to give after her theater performances and she would always give me a big hug an a kiss. I thought she was happy again. Then just like that, she told me she was bored of me and needed time to get her life together. She was being very shallow and never explained anything to me. I brought her flowers and she told me not to be buying her stuff. I tried calling her and she would only get mad and tell me to stop calling. She started going out a lot and drinking with her friends again. I confessed my love to her and told her that if only i knew she felt this way i would have done anything to fix any problems in our relationship. She tells me that she just doesn't need a relationship right now. She never came out and told me that she was falling out of love with me. She never said that there was a problem. She just kept it all in and let it out on me all at once. What did i do wrong here

[Agape]

"She had a problem about drinking and driving that would make me so worried and angry. I explained to her that i loved her so much and didn't want anything to happen. She fought me about why she should be able to."
"She complained of being constantly tired and didn't want to be touched or bothered. She didn't want any affection whatsoever."

Ah well. . . this is break-up stuff lasted for 2 months then so be it . . .as far as I can see, it doesn't seem like you did anything wrong . . . if anything, you cared for her much more than she cared for her.

[Str!ke]

hey
women sometimes want things from her man but they won`t tell what it is.
they want you to find it yourself and doing it
from what you`ve said i think she is not in love like you are, you`ve done every thing that a girl need
don`t blame yourself.she will regret and will get back to you

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

I dont think u did anything wrong at all. She has issues and will continue having them. imo All i know is u treated her well and theres nothing u can do if the girl has fallen out of love for u.

[jonas22]

ha!!
gosh, sounds somewhat similar to my situation.
My ex- also doesnt want to explain anything.
Girls are laws unto themeselves, mysterious creatures. You say she had a problem drinking. There is an inference here that she was unhappy about something in her life. Perhaps things she didnt even feel that she could talk to you about - things perhaps she was not able to admit to herself.

I had the same situation of working so damn hard and being emotionally, psychololically, physically drained. I did'nt take kindly to demands places on me before I had even rested (like wanting to make love the minute I got through the door).

What you did 'wrong' was not helping her out of whatever situation she was in.
You might have felt you cared deeply for her, but you were unable to see what it was that she wanted to be helped in.

Its not enough to 'treat a girl well' I'm afraid.

[johnbeckettson]

sigh...these things are so difficult

[refc]

well i spoke with her in person again today. i tried to be as calm and as understanding as i could to make her understand how i feel about the whole situation. I never raised my voice and was as down to earth as i could be.I told her i loved her, and that didn't want any of this to ever happen. I told her i would do whatever it takes to get our relationship back. She seemed to get frustrated with me when i was talking to her, and said that she just needs her space and time to be away from me. So i asked if she would stay loyal to me, and she replied yes but not forever. ?????? wtf not forever.... ok. The way this feels is like if i had cheated on her and she found out! But Ive never cheated, abused or lied to her ever! I feel she took something that was so easily repairable and blew it up into some massive gap between us. I cant help but ask if we would ever be together again and she says that i wouldn't like to hear what she had to say right now and that i should just give her time. I kinda joked about having to wait a year and she says if thats how long it takes then so be it. This doesn't guarantee that she will accept me back into her life. I told her that im hurting so bad and she says she is too. She says she did love me and still does, but its different now. I told her ive been thinking about her and the breakup every day since it happened and i dont feel right at all. She said shes only thought about it once or twice. Its been 1 week 2 days. :/

[Agape]

Well it's apparent that this girl has moved on or she never really cared about you two for a while . . . time for you to move on

[IncognitoSir]

One word, heartless. Another chick that reminds me of my ex lol. No relationship is perfect, both parties involved will always have flaws being human and all, but it's the effort you put into the relationship that makes all the difference. CLEARLY, you have done at least, if not more than your fair share of participation in this relationship. The fact that she's not even willing to shed some insight into how she's feeling or what's "different" about the relationship now shows you that she's not worth it. Take the time to lick your wounds and move on with your life. Don't keep running back to her and allowing her to hurt you over and over again. She's being really unfair and based on how you've treated her, she needs to be treating you a lot better than what she is. Go find and woman who can reciprocate the love and care you show to her.