moral dilemma

[68mustang]

i think my situation might sound a little familar to most people. I am a 18 year old male and i have been helping one of my girl friends (not girlfriend...ya know) with some of her problems with her boyfriend, joe, who happens to be a friend of mine. We are not really that tight (me and her boyfriend) but we usually chill at parties together and are sociable to each other. Anyways, my girl friend, amanda, whenever we get hanging out with each other, shes always saying that shes horny and wants to get with anybody. At first i thought she was always just pulling my leg until we were at a party last night and amanda and joe disappeared into the basement together for like two hours. We all just assumed what they were doing. After everybody, including Amanda, left the party, my cell phone was ringing and it was amanda. She was all upset because she thought i assumed that her and joe were fooling around in the basement, which i did, but she pleaded that nothing did go on except she saying that she cannot be with him anymore because he just refuses to change. She begged and pleaded for like ten minutes and she ended the convo by saying "matt, i love you, we should hook up some time." That was it, she hung up and im just assuming passed out because it was like 3 in the morning after a full night of drinking. Now the question is: should i call her out and take her up on her offer? We obviously would have to keep it secret from joe and all of our other friends, but do you think these things ever work out like this?

[jane]

Although it sounds like you and this girl are good friends... this has nothing but disaster written all over it. I know you would love for someone to say, " you know what.. .dog her and screw her man.. what he doesnt know, wont kill him".. by saying that you have a moral dilemma ... well, I guess you already know what the answer is.

If you want me to be the devil on your shoulders and say it, I can't. You hang with this guy..are you going to be able to face him after the fact? If so .. then tell him now before hand. Good luck!

[Sami09]

Wow thats a hard situation the fact that she was a bf when she should. She really cares about you. How long have they dated? Why doesnt she break up with him and then give her a bit of time and space she dealing with a lot of feeling

[sfalexi]

People say/do LOTS of things when drunk that they wouldn't have done when sober. I'm willing to bet that when she said that drunk, she'd probably REGRET saying it if you tried to 'take her up' on it while she was sober. I say just drop it.

Rod Steele

[prosejunkie]

Okay, I don't drink, but I know when I'm feeling particularly goofy I always end conversations with "I love you," especially with good friends of mine. If she meant it (which I doubt) she needs to end it completely with her bf first before you even think about pursuing her.

If she doesn't break up with her bf, then she didn't mean it. Do not take advantage of her vulnerable state of mind.

[68mustang]

yeah but she did break up with him last night

[68mustang]

and she says it all the time, not just when we are drinking, seriously like once a day

[sfalexi]

She could be (and very well probably is) an "I love you" kind of person. She doesn't attach special meaning to those words and says it as easily as you or I would say, "hello".

Rod Steele

[jslaughter]

I hate to recycle . . .

Run, run like the wind.

The boyfriend is not the issue - the fact that she randomnly gets drunk and NEEDS to "hook up" - - is a big red flag waving in the wind. So yeah,

Run, run like the wind.