Help. Seven year break upon

[Marla]

My boyfriend of seven years just broke up with me because he feels he needs to be alone and find himself. We are both 24 years old and have been together since high school. Until six months ago I was very happy in my relationship and it appeared that he was too. We were in a good place. We live in South Africa but for the last year and a half have expressed great interest in moving to NYC together. We took our first trip there together in July of 2012. We had each been there separately with our families in prior years. However, during the 2012 trip he suddenly decided that he wants to be alone. This came as a real shock to me. He has not had a conventional childhood in that he's had an alcoholic mother, his biological father was abusive until around the age of around five, his mother remarried when he was around two so he was between houses. His parents were very poor so from a young age he has been driven to be successful and have a booming career. Right now that's all he is focused on. I'm just not sure what to do. He has always been a person who requires space and I've struggled to give him that, more so now. He says I'm the person he would want to marry but that he doesn't want a relationship now. He wants me to give up and move on. But I feel like I can't. We love each other deeply and we do make each other happy. He is the person I want to be with and I feel like I can't simply walk away. I don't know why these feelings have come up and he's changed so much but it really hurts. I just know he is unhappy. I'm so afraid that if I do let go in the hope that he will come back to me, the opposite will happen. He has a strong will and determination and usually once he makes a decision, he does not go back on them, also because of pride. I love this man with all of my heart and I would do anything to make it work. It hurts that he wants me to move on. In December of 2011, he professed how much he wants this to work and wants to be with me. It was such a shock that six months later he felt the opposite. I'm really struggling to cope. My best friend just emigrated and I have no other close friends. I'm not close to my family, I've moved back home now and it's hard. My younger brother is on drugs and my parents fight continuously. Please help.

[tillyb]

Hi. You are going through so much all at once. Family turmoul and a difficult break up, I feel for you. Perhaps your ex needs to find time to work out who is is as an individual. In my own experience, this is a common thing at around his age. He has had a trouble childhood and may need to deal with that still. Life is full of challenges and just when you least expect it, you find yourself looking for answers and wondering where you go to next. Try to focus on you. What do you need outside of this relationship to make you happy? Whatever happens you need to find your own inner strength and happiness. Not having a strong support group around you must be hard. Life can be cruel and often does not make sense, but take this time out to be good to you.

Sending you love and light.

[Guybrush]

Just out of curiosity, and to understand your situation better: Did he create his "booming career" during the 7 years you were together?