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Thread: what the heck happened here?

  1. #1
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    what the heck happened here?

    So I worked with this girl for about a month. We got along fine and had some nice chats. She quit though before I could get her number so I contacted her on Facebook, exchanged numbers and we agreed to hang out.

    We went to the movies (I paid), went bowling (I paid), went to a movie and got ice cream after and talked in her car. WHile we were in her car she asked when the last time I had a gf was. ---(we ate ate the ice cream in her car. she wanted to go somehwere where we could sit and talk... maybe make out?)

    3 days later she texted me saying she didn't feel like I had any interest in her. I explained to her I did. We went to watch fireworks for July 4th and I asked her on a date to dinner. We went to dinner and had a good time. 3 days later we went to a movie, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said I think we should just be friends and see what happens.

    The next day she texted me saying.. I have had fun with you but I don't wanna hangout with you and please stop texting me.

    Where the hell did I go wrong? WHy all of a sudden was she telling me not to text her?
    Last edited by doug8787; 28-09-11 at 01:58 AM.

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    anyone with some thoughts?

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    You didn't "go wrong". Maybe she just doesn't feel the same way as you do. You may not be her type. She may have personal problems that she needs to work on before she can commit. Wish her the best and move on. Yes, you are going to hurt. Stay true to yourself.

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    You didn't make a move on her when she expected you to. The part where she said that she didn't feel that you had any interest in her was a big clue. SAYING that you do and not doing anything about it didn't help matters.

    It's likely she's a bit insecure and felt unattractive because you didn't make a move. A bummer, but do you really want a relationship with someone that insecure? Ugh.

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    There is really no way to say for sure, but her asking you when the last time you had a girlfriend was makes it sound like maybe you were not doing the things she expected someone who was interested in her to do. Maybe you were being too buddy-buddy? Or maybe you were coming on too strong and were a bit clingy? Maybe you talked too much? Or too little? There is really no way to tell here.

    While we wish every situation was a learning experience so we could do better next time, sometimes it doesn't work out that way. She decided not to give you any idea as to what went wrong, so there is no real need to focus on it. Just assume she is a Cylon and move on.

    Good luck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by devonbrown View Post
    There is really no way to say for sure, but her asking you when the last time you had a girlfriend was makes it sound like maybe you were not doing the things she expected someone who was interested in her to do. Maybe you were being too buddy-buddy? Or maybe you were coming on too strong and were a bit clingy? Maybe you talked too much? Or too little? There is really no way to tell here.

    While we wish every situation was a learning experience so we could do better next time, sometimes it doesn't work out that way. She decided not to give you any idea as to what went wrong, so there is no real need to focus on it. Just assume she is a Cylon and move on.

    Good luck.
    yea i think she was expetcing me to make a move on her in her car that night

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    Learn from your mistakes. Be more forceful next time and keep paying to a minimum. Take her out for coffee at Starbucks or Barnes and Noble. Save your cash.

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    should i even think about texting her again? its been a few months

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    Naw, don't text her. Move on. Do you live in a podunk town or a big area?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartIsAching View Post
    You didn't make a move on her when she expected you to. The part where she said that she didn't feel that you had any interest in her was a big clue. SAYING that you do and not doing anything about it didn't help matters.

    It's likely she's a bit insecure and felt unattractive because you didn't make a move. A bummer, but do you really want a relationship with someone that insecure? Ugh.
    This^. Anyway, don't let it phase you as others have said. Even if you were to make every move exactly as they expect, there's still no guarantee. You won't click with everyone. And yes, its a good sign if the girl asks to pay at least sometimes.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    I figured she was wanting me to make a move. I was just nervous lol

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    Meh. The next one might be put-off by a 'pushy' guy. I guess the lesson is to trust your gut a bit more. You suspected she was wanting you to move, so next time just go for it. On the other hand, if your gut says 'not yet', I would listen to that as well. So long as that's the vibe from her and not your own insecurity speaking.

    Good luck.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    [QUOTE=IndiReloaded;767042]Meh. The next one might be put-off by a 'pushy' guy. I guess the lesson is to trust your gut a bit more. You suspected she was wanting you to move, so next time just go for it. On the other hand, if your gut says 'not yet', I would listen to that as well. So long as that's the vibe from her and not your own insecurity speaking.

    Good luck.[/QUOTE

    very true.. just the whole "lets get in my car and go somewhere private" just has making out or possibly more written all over it

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    Quote Originally Posted by doug8787 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Meh. The next one might be put-off by a 'pushy' guy. I guess the lesson is to trust your gut a bit more. You suspected she was wanting you to move, so next time just go for it. On the other hand, if your gut says 'not yet', I would listen to that as well. So long as that's the vibe from her and not your own insecurity speaking.

    Good luck.
    very true.. just the whole "lets get in my car and go somewhere private" just has making out or possibly more written all over it
    Yes, it does. Shrug. Live forever, learn everything.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Quote Originally Posted by doug8787 View Post
    I figured she was wanting me to make a move. I was just nervous lol
    Yeah, I can see that... but next time when a girl gives you a big hint like that, take it for a green light.

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