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Thread: Met a new guy but did I ruin it??

  1. #1
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    Met a new guy but did I ruin it??

    So the other day I met up for drinks with my new neighbor (a girl) and she brought along 2 of her guy friends. We all had a great time and by the end of the night one of the guys was putting his arm around me. I found him to be attractive so I didn't object and I was a little drunk so I let him kiss me. I kissed him back lightly and passionately and he was starting to go crazy. He said he wanted badly to bring me home but he could see that I was drunk and didn't think it would be right to do it. But we kept kissing and he was like - alright let's go back to my place but I promise I won't touch you, I will be a gentleman. I will make a promise to my friend (my girl neighbor) that I won't do anything inappropriate. I just want to cuddle you all night and then we will have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings together (because I mentioned earlier that I loved that movie).

    So I ended up going home with him and he was being a gentleman and was trying to be appropriate but I initiated the sex. We had crazy wild sex the whole night. He was blown away by me and said it was the best sex her ever had and ever will have. He even said - will you marry me tomorrow? (probably as a joke, and I laughed). He finished 5 times and was exhausted. We ended up staying in bed all morning and not going out to brunch and not watching Lord of the Rings. He had to leave by 12 to travel home for Thanksgiving so that was when we parted. I even helped him fold his clothes.

    Later that day he texted me and thanked me for helping him fold his clothes and then mentioned that he was exhausted and felt like "bump on a log, but was itching for more". I responded with an "Aww".

    Then he texted me yesterday and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I said- you too. How is your vacation going? He said - partied last night with my friends, and ate and slept all day today, and you?. I said - nice, I helped cook all day and ate some yummy food and now I'm really full . Then he said - time for some Lord of the Rings!! And I said - Yes!! Can't wait.

    Then I realized that he didn't say "time for some lord of the rings" as an invite. He meant - I was done being busy and was full of food and I now had time to watch it, seeing as I didn't get to do so last night.
    I haven't heard a reply since I said this, but I'm wondering if I'm sounding too eager and am coming off as too strong or needy. Even though he enjoyed the sex and was impressed, I don't want to turn him off by acting like I am too excited to see him. It was kind of an automatic reply on my part but I realized how it may have sounded after I sent it and that I had misinterpreted his message. Maybe I'm over-analyzing everything. Your thoughts? Do you think I ruined it?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by anna472 View Post
    So the other day I met up for drinks with my new neighbor (a girl) and she brought along 2 of her guy friends. We all had a great time and by the end of the night one of the guys was putting his arm around me. I found him to be attractive so I didn't object and I was a little drunk so I let him kiss me. I kissed him back lightly and passionately and he was starting to go crazy. He said he wanted badly to bring me home but he could see that I was drunk and didn't think it would be right to do it. But we kept kissing and he was like - alright let's go back to my place but I promise I won't touch you, I will be a gentleman. I will make a promise to my friend (my girl neighbor) that I won't do anything inappropriate. I just want to cuddle you all night and then we will have brunch and watch Lord of the Rings together (because I mentioned earlier that I loved that movie).

    So I ended up going home with him and he was being a gentleman and was trying to be appropriate but I initiated the sex. We had crazy wild sex the whole night. He was blown away by me and said it was the best sex her ever had and ever will have. He even said - will you marry me tomorrow? (probably as a joke, and I laughed). He finished 5 times and was exhausted. We ended up staying in bed all morning and not going out to brunch and not watching Lord of the Rings. He had to leave by 12 to travel home for Thanksgiving so that was when we parted. I even helped him fold his clothes.

    Later that day he texted me and thanked me for helping him fold his clothes and then mentioned that he was exhausted and felt like "bump on a log, but was itching for more". I responded with an "Aww".

    Then he texted me yesterday and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. I said- you too. How is your vacation going? He said - partied last night with my friends, and ate and slept all day today, and you?. I said - nice, I helped cook all day and ate some yummy food and now I'm really full . Then he said - time for some Lord of the Rings!! And I said - Yes!! Can't wait.

    Then I realized that he didn't say "time for some lord of the rings" as an invite. He meant - I was done being busy and was full of food and I now had time to watch it, seeing as I didn't get to do so last night.
    I haven't heard a reply since I said this, but I'm wondering if I'm sounding too eager and am coming off as too strong or needy. Even though he enjoyed the sex and was impressed, I don't want to turn him off by acting like I am too excited to see him. It was kind of an automatic reply on my part but I realized how it may have sounded after I sent it and that I had misinterpreted his message. Maybe I'm over-analyzing everything. Your thoughts? Do you think I ruined it?
    lol you can't ruin it with one super short text message! So don't worry about that.

    How long has it been? You are needlessly freaking out.

    Now, there is no guarantee he will ever message you--but if he doesn't it won't be because of the text (more because you "did it" on the first time you met him -.- aya...)

    But don't worry--you did nothing wrong in the way you interacted after

  3. #3
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    What are you looking for with this guy?

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    I doubt he is wanting something serious with you....if he did he wouldn't have suggested taking you home to bang in the first place. Good sex doesn't make a guy become serious, but he will oblige to hit the mattress with you anytime.

    I have a feeling he thinks this is just going to turn into a casual thing, so communication is going to be key when you interact with him next time if you have other intentions.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    I doubt he is wanting something serious with you....if he did he wouldn't have suggested taking you home to bang in the first place. Good sex doesn't make a guy become serious, but he will oblige to hit the mattress with you anytime.

    I have a feeling he thinks this is just going to turn into a casual thing, so communication is going to be key when you interact with him next time if you have other intentions.
    I second that

  6. #6
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    Anna, I know a number of couples who's marriages started with first night sex (mine included)....so don't accept the above comments as a hard and fast rule. Sure, it's risky but guys can and do call after first night sex.

    At any rate, if I understand correctly the time frame for all of this is just a week or so. Just chill and see what happens; you never know, he may call you for a date this weekend. My only caution is to not accept just sex for a first date - only accept something more civilised such a going to dinner. Though of course, if you want to follow the dinner with more great sex then go for it.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    I doubt he is wanting something serious with you....if he did he wouldn't have suggested taking you home to bang in the first place. Good sex doesn't make a guy become serious, but he will oblige to hit the mattress with you anytime.

    I have a feeling he thinks this is just going to turn into a casual thing, so communication is going to be key when you interact with him next time if you have other intentions.
    Agreed.

    The only way you possibly "screwed up" here is if you are looking for a long term thing. I mean you had drunk sex with a guy you just met. At this point it's hard to back peddle. You screwing him as fast as you did sends a loud and clear message that you're mainly looking for sex - which is totally fine. Nothing wrong with consenting adults having a good time.

    Your actions say "a physical relationship is what's important to me right now," so you can't really blame him if all he wants is a FWB situation with you.

    As for what to do, it's kind of out of your hands. Be honest with him, be yourself, and he'll either want to be with you or he won't.

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