Ok, so I slept with a friend of mine. For me it was a rebound, for him apparently he's been harboring feelings for me for a while. I'd just been dumped 4 months ago, and don't usually do the FWB thing. Although I don't exactly regret the sex, because it was just what I needed.. I do feel badly that because I realized that I didn't have romantic feelings for him, and I cut it off. Now, he's kind of acting like a wounded puppy dog. I'm sure not 17 anymore, so having a 30 something year old man act like a boy, is rather unsettling. After all the talking (100% honesty about everything right from the start), I had told him, I wasn't sure what I wanted (except for the sex of course), and he had said that he was fine with whatever I decided. Obviously he was just trying to convince himself of that I think.
He's a very kind guy, but he's not for me. He doesn't have a job he likes, doesn't have a car, is overweight and would rather complain about it than do something, etc, etc. (I'm overweight but have lost 40 lbs from trying at least). The excuses to not improve himself, and negativity drives me crazy! And I've told him that, like I said.. 100% honesty all the way. We'd been friends for almost a year but lately the only time he's happy is when he knows he's coming over to hang out with me.. for one reason or the other. I don't like that kind of pressure that someones happiness seems to depend on me. I feel guilty as hell for cutting off the sex, but I hope to stay friends with him even though it'll never be the same with us, or at least not for a long time.
What do you guys think about Friends with Benefits... good idea, bad idea, for yourselves I mean?
I think this might even out later.. I mean the sex was great, and he helped me realize who I was again, I just don't know if its worth the emotional/psychological turmoil.. I just wouldn't advise it if you know either you or the other person has ANY sort of deep rooted feelings for the other, but it seems to make the clingy factor go through the roof.. its a terrible feeling. ugh.