Why do some guys avoid touching their girl-friends like the plague

[sadie_genie]

Just curious. I have some guy friends who would always be available to hang out. But they avoid touching me like the plague. I am pretty confident about how I look and I even receive compliments from them about how good I look. Yet, they avoid touching me and when the touch is accidental, they freak out. They also avoid eye contact. I wonder what is going through their minds. Btw, they don't girlfriends so it is not like they are afraid that they are cheating on them. Is it their way of drawing boundaries?

[SelflessnHumble]

Just curious. I have some guy friends who would always be available to hang out. But they avoid touching me like the plague. I am pretty confident about how I look and I even receive compliments from them about how good I look. Yet, they avoid touching me and when the touch is accidental, they freak out. They also avoid eye contact. I wonder what is going through their minds. Btw, they don't girlfriends so it is not like they are afraid that they are cheating on them.

This could be due to a variety of reasons however I don't understand why you
want all of these guys touching you? Do you crave affection or attention from men?

If you are uninhibited and want your "friends" to touch you all about
how would you feel if you did have a BF and he saw this?
Do you think this is healthy and/or normal for a girl to have her guy friends touch her?

You shouldn't use men for your own personal gratification if that is the case.
While you consider touching to be impersonal and casual, they may feel
that touching means much more than that: which is why they haven't.

It just doesn't make much sense.
May I ask you if your father is in your life and if he is
is he affectionate with you?

[sadie_genie]

I don't crave touches from men but I have noticed they get scared when the touch is accidental. I just find it a bit ridiculous for the way they overreact and I find it awkward that they avoid eye contact because eye contact to me is a sign of respect and friendliness. I sense a vibe of discomfort from them that I think is unnecessary considering I have known them for years.

[blackman]

it has to do with because girls have boobs, at my office this co-worker is really attractive and has great boobs, i also feel awkward when i accidently touch her sometimes but she clearly doesn't mind at all.

[sadie_genie]

it has to do with because girls have boobs, at my office this co-worker is really attractive and has great boobs, i also feel awkward when i accidently touch her sometimes but she clearly doesn't mind at all.

LOL. You're hilarious. But I don't think it is the same for me. I don't dress in a revealing way.

[SelflessnHumble]

I don't crave touches from men but I have noticed they get scared when the touch is accidental. I just find it a bit ridiculous for the way they overreact and I find it awkward that they avoid eye contact because eye contact to me is a sign of respect and friendliness. I sense a vibe of discomfort from them that I think is unnecessary considering I have known them for years.

Is your father in your life or not? It actually plays a role in helping you out.
Eye contact is normal, but should know what I'm talking about: Flirting without saying or doing anything other than looking.

If you can't deal with the fact this is WHO they are and how they act/feel then you don't value their friendship
and just want them to be based on how you want them to be or act around you.
You don't get to dictate how they are as individuals. You may say you're not but
you're definitely not respecting their demeanor towards you and it isn't even offensive.

The only way to truly know is to stop speculating and start communicating.
Pull one aside (preferably when the others are not around and ask him) then the next and then so on.

If you've known them for this long then It begs the question(s)

-How long have you known them for and
-When did you start to notice that they feel awkward touching you?

Either respect how they are OR continue to be selfish and;
Move on and find male friends that touch you.

[sadie_genie]

Selfishnhumble, RELAX...I don't know why you are insisting that I am trying to dictate how they act. I am trying to understand what is going through their minds; not trying to control them. I VALUE the friendship and even if you insist I don't, I know I do.

Thanks for the attempt at the psychoanalysis but I think I have a pretty normal childhood. Both of my parents were in my life and still are.

They have always acted like this for the years I have known them.

[SelflessnHumble]

Selfishnhumble, RELAX...I don't know why you are insisting that I am trying to dictate how they act. I am trying to understand what is going through their minds; not trying to control them. I VALUE the friendship and even if you insist I don't, I know I do.

Thanks for the attempt at the psychoanalysis but I think I have a pretty normal childhood. Both of my parents were in my life and still are.

They have always acted like this for the years I have known them.

Um, I am always relaxed. The fact that you are reading my post in some aggressive manner is disproportionate to how I feel.
I capitalize words only for emphasis, I'm not "yelling." I am not insisting anything. I said *IF* you do not respect how they are

(being awkward when you accidentally touch them is an attribute of "how they are") then you should either find new male friends who
touch you: or accept them for who and how they are. What ever you think is normal: touching male friends isn't normal behavior even though
you feel they are all abnormal themselves for feeling the way they do.

Even more so if you are attractive.
Some guys aren't comfortable in their own skin nor around a beautiful woman.
Besides, all you have to do is when you are around them and they pull back: grab one of their hands.
If it is clammy or sweaty then they are nervous around you and it may have to do with liking you
more than a friend. There is no psychoanalysis here. I have been with many girls with daddy issues and
some of them thought it was weird that guys would be afraid to hug them, much less touch them.

Don't you think it is much easier to just say, "Oh, no my father and I are close and he is always affectionate with me"
than your defensive response? It sounds fishy now.

Anyway this issue isn't about your Dad, it's about you, not the boys.
You can only control what you are able to control: what you do.
Not what anyone else does, make sense?

[Gratedwasabi]

Selfishnhumble, RELAX...I don't know why you are insisting that I am trying to dictate how they act. I am trying to understand what is going through their minds; not trying to control them. I VALUE the friendship and even if you insist I don't, I know I do.

Thanks for the attempt at the psychoanalysis but I think I have a pretty normal childhood. Both of my parents were in my life and still are.

They have always acted like this for the years I have known them.

Women spend years training us when it is and is not okay to touch them. Some guys get afraid that by touching a friend it'll send the wrong message. I never touch my female friends. The eye contact thing is them just being guys, though.

If they're just friends, why are you worried about them touching you?

[SelflessnHumble]

If they're just friends, why are you worried about them touching you?

Maybe I misread what you wrote but she isn't worried about them touching her.
She is perplexed as to why they "freak out" when she accidentally touches them
even though they compliment her on her looks.

[smackie9]

They are your friends because they want to get with you. They don't touch you because it will only increase their desire for you. Sad situation.

[leoben]

You're probably attractive and they are sexually intimidated by you. I assume none of them have ever any made any kind of serious move?

[Raze]

They are probably afraid of getting sexual harassment lawsuits.

[doppelgaenger]

Because you're hanging out with a bunch of softies. I touch my female friends all the time - tickling, patting, hugging, kissing (cheeks), putting my arm around them, and an occasional playful grab at their breasts (if we're both single). I don't usually apologize, either. One of them was dating an overprotective guy for a while who pulled me aside and told me not to touch her at all. He didn't last very long (pardon pun).

[SelflessnHumble]

Because you're hanging out with a bunch of softies. I touch my female friends all the time - tickling, patting, hugging, kissing (cheeks), putting my arm around them, and an occasional playful grab at their breasts (if we're both single). I don't usually apologize, either. One of them was dating an overprotective guy for a while who pulled me aside and told me not to touch her at all. He didn't last very long (pardon pun).

I'm not overprotective at all and had you touched my woman you'd have been eating blended food through a straw depending on how many teeth you had left (pun intended)
You've got no respect for women, nor a woman's relationship plain and simple. It has nothing to do with me as it does with your lack of respect.
I think it's sad that you haven't any skill with a woman you have to grab at their breasts as if it were cute.

Then again based on the them liking it says you have to surround yourself with girls with low self esteem and exploit them strictly because you lack big time.

Sad bro.