Can a person develop feelings for a person so fast?

[Marcky]

My girlfriend and i was together for 3years. She is 24 and i'm 27. We already at the stage to buy a house and get our wedding done. Last week she was confused and told me the feeling towards me have changed, to a kin rather than a lover. She ask me to give her time and space but i was too devastated and kept pressuring her for a answer and that led to a breakup. I was broken down to pieces and i told myself to love myself more and i quickly stand on my feet again. I was so strong-willed i want to get her back to my arms again. I still contact her mum a lot and her mum told me
she got someone she is interested in and already got together with that guy after less than a week we broken up. Is that even possible to get with someone in such a short notice? I am sure she didn't cheat on me when we are together but she did talk about me with him regarding problems she had.
Right now i am clear what i want to do, is to love myself but just curious how can a person develop feelings to another person so fast?

[surfhb2]

I'd imagine she felt out of love with you long before your break up. So I guess, on her end, she been out of love for awhile

I feel your pain. Sounds like my first marriage. We were more like roommates then lovers long before our divorce

It's good you have the right attitude about self worth though

[Marcky]

Thank you! yup i will be strong! I realize i given all my life for her and now i need to live my own. Although some parts of me still wanting her back.
Her mum still update me what's happening because i really close with her mum and she didn't want me to give up. She still wore my stuffs and didn't
throw my gifts away. I research a lot and done a lot reflection. Now i need to be strong and i didn't want to end up like most of the guys pleading and
stuff. I cease contact with her few days ago because i think she's not in the right mind now, she needs time to think and stuff but this relationship
she had does did some minimal impact on me haha.
I read up a lot regarding this and believe in law of attraction is to be positive and focus what you want not on the negativity. I hope she didn't date
this guy because of a rebound and hope that guy really treat her well that's all.

[pcmaster]

Think she cheated and then her feelings changed so she wanted to break up. Man theres no way you can forgive her that. Even if she didnt cheat, saying that her feelings changed are is kinda bad you know. Realy the best you can do is realy give her time and space and see some other girls aswell. You deserve change aswell meanwhile and see what else is out there. Good that you started to love yourself.

[Marcky]

updates: I believe she already seeing a guy, but apparently she still wearing the jewellery i brought for her. Apparently she told her mum she can see my shadow in him.
She told her mum she will try to change him to become a better man than he is now. She been saying a lot of positive things about him and kept telling her
mum how good he is. A month ago, she answered her best friend that i am the ONE for her, and when i go out for dinner, she can cried on the floor saying
am i cheating on her outside. Just realize she knew this guy for less than a month! Is this rebound syndrome? But i am quite positive i don't want her back
anymore because she did break up with me because of another guy. Just doing some research so i can deal with problems with my relationship in the future.

p.s Btw i ain't stalking her or something, because her mum is like a mother to me too so she tells me a lot. I didn't force her to tell me anything.

[searock]

I repeat what Boisdevie said because you don't seem to get it: she didn't magically develop feelings overnight, she was out of love with you for a very long time before the actual break up and she is now experiencing the honeymoon phase (the whole butterflies in the stomach feeling) with this new guy. Will it become love? Who knows. It's certainly none of your business though. I think you should stop talking with her mom and being obsessed with her personal life, focus on your own life and move on. The sooner you let go, the sooner you'll be happy again.

[Marcky]

Yup i told her mum i already moved on, but it doesn't make sense to cease contact with her mum. She treat me as her own son, how can i ignore her?
And i told you i ain't stalking her, i didn't even check her facebook and stuff. So your assumption of me being obsessed with her personal life doesn't make sense too.
Her mum just want to make sure i am ok, I wholeheartedly wish her relationship with the other guy will work out.

[HeartIsAching]

I wholeheartedly wish her relationship with the other guy will work out.

It won't.

She told her mum she will try to change him to become a better man than he is now.

This is why. You escaped - lucky you.

[Marcky]

It won't.



This is why. You escaped - lucky you.

“Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can't accept who you are.”
― Turcois Ominek

[HeartIsAching]

Exactly. .

[searock]

Yup i told her mum i already moved on, but it doesn't make sense to cease contact with her mum. She treat me as her own son, how can i ignore her?
And i told you i ain't stalking her, i didn't even check her facebook and stuff. So your assumption of me being obsessed with her personal life doesn't make sense too.
Her mum just want to make sure i am ok, I wholeheartedly wish her relationship with the other guy will work out.

As long as you still have feelings for this girl, you should stop being in contact with members of her family, including her mum. It will only prevent you from moving on effectively. Also, you are obsessing over her personal life in that you keep thinking about it, when in fact it's none of your business. Just forget about her and move on.

[smackie9]

My girlfriend and i was together for 3years. She is 24 and i'm 27. We already at the stage to buy a house and get our wedding done. Last week she was confused and told me the feeling towards me have changed, to a kin rather than a lover. She ask me to give her time and space but i was too devastated and kept pressuring her for a answer and that led to a breakup. I was broken down to pieces and i told myself to love myself more and i quickly stand on my feet again. I was so strong-willed i want to get her back to my arms again. I still contact her mum a lot and her mum told me
she got someone she is interested in and already got together with that guy after less than a week we broken up. Is that even possible to get with someone in such a short notice? I am sure she didn't cheat on me when we are together but she did talk about me with him regarding problems she had.
Right now i am clear what i want to do, is to love myself but just curious how can a person develop feelings to another person so fast?

She was having an emotional affair with this guy long before she started to back out of your relationship. It made her realize she wasn't really in love with you anymore. Good thing because would it not be even more devastating if this happened after you had children and invested more of your life plans?

- - - Updated - - -

It wouldn't surprise me if it's someone she works with.

[Wakeup]

She was having an emotional affair with this guy long before she started to back out of your relationship. It made her THINK she wasn't really in love with you anymore.

Fixed that.

*My guess is that had she never started her "bonding" with this new guy, she would have been perfectly happy with you still and planning her wedding.

Too late now though, I think you should follow Sea's advice and just stop talking to her or her family so that you can help yourself to become indifferent to her.*

She told her mum she will try to change him to become a better man than he is now.

*laughing here* Sooooo typical.

[Marcky]

yup already stopped contacting her family. Living my own life and start going out to widen my social circle. Her mum still message me now and then but
i didn't reply her much, i really need to focus on myself right now. Dwelling on the past won't change anything, thanks peoples. The lesson i learned is
i should not revolve in her life too much, i didn't even realize i sacrifice all my three years on her and changed to a different man i used to. Now me being
myself is the best i can do and being needy ain't attractive at all. I am a confident man like 3 years ago, met our mutual friend not too long ago and told
her i am sorry what i have done and wish her all the best. Now i going to devote my life for myself!

[Pope Matthew]

Yes my heart goes pitter patter and the imagination runs wild causing all sorts of problems. When going out with a women try to act like the occasion isn't something huge. Obviously don't be disrespectful or indicate that you are not attracted to her but try not to be too serious or obsessed.