Ladies what's the bigger turnoff?

[actualgoodguy]

Ok ladies say you've been on two dates with two guys.

Scenario one: You like guy 1 after two dates and would like to continue seeing him. You want him to kiss you goodnight on the lips but he doesn't.
Scenario two: You don't like guy 2 after date 2 and no longer want to see him. But he gives you a goodnight kiss on the lips.

My question: Which is the bigger turnoff - That guy 1 didn't take the initiative to kiss you or guy 2 kissed you but you didn't want it?

Being a guy I know we have to take the initiative - whether it be asking her out, making plans for the date, first kiss. etc: you know the beginning stages. But my problem is that usually by the second date I'd like to end with a kiss if I like her, but I don't want to make the girl feel uncomfortable if she is not ready for it/doesn't want it. So what should I do? Go for it, even though she may not want it, or wait so I avoid possibly making her feel uncomfortable. On the other hand does it even make you uncomfortable to get this kiss if you don't like him? If for nothing else I would just see it as an ego boost for the girl cause the guy finds you attractive.

Thanks for any thoughts on the subject

[Ginger2013]

I think if a girl goes on a second date, then she's somewhat attracted to the guy. I think it's normal to want to kiss each other, even after a first date, if both of you are attracted to each other. I went on a first date with a guy who was very nice, but there was no chemistry. At the end of the date he went to kiss me on the lips and I turned away, it was a big turn off and confirmed to me that I didn't want to see him again. If I like a guy and he doesn't kiss me, I would probably take the initiative to kiss him.

[actualgoodguy]

I think if a girl goes on a second date, then she's somewhat attracted to the guy. I think it's normal to want to kiss each other, even after a first date, if both of you are attracted to each other. I went on a first date with a guy who was very nice, but there was no chemistry. At the end of the date he went to kiss me on the lips and I turned away, it was a big turn off and confirmed to me that I didn't want to see him again. If I like a guy and he doesn't kiss me, I would probably take the initiative to kiss him.

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

[Ginger2013]

Don't you feel any kind of chemistry between the two of you? Showing your emotions is always a risk unfortunately. But I think you should kiss her if you think that things are going well, you are talking, laughing, maybe holding hands etc...try holding her hand or putting your arm around her and see her reaction maybe. Tell her you had a great time, you want to see her again, then give her a kiss goodnight. If she turns away like I did, then at least you'll know right?

[pcmaster]

Man its just a kiss. How can you say "Hi !" Without being sure that she want it? Better not to say it or risk and say "Hi !" ?

[basilandthyme]

It's about Chemistry. If there's chemistry, you kiss her - if there's no chemistry you don't

But in answer to your question

1) I'd probably kiss him if he didn't make the move
2) would depend on if it was closed mouth or if he was wanting some tonsil hockey. I'd let him give me a chaste kiss, but I'd dodge the tonsil hockey. And I wouldn't do another date regardless.

Also, if I'm already not interested in seeing the #2 guy again, kiss or no kiss won't make any difference to the outcome - he's already dead in the water.

[surfhb2]

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

Aren't you the guy with the inner cockiness and extreme confidence?

[smackie9]

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

You should be able to feel that vibe, see it in her body language, tone in her voice, her enthusiasm, eye contact, etc. If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes. That would make you a stiff, awkward, not a risk taker, insecure, lack confidence, not adventurous = boring.

[actualgoodguy]

Aren't you the guy with the inner cockiness and extreme confidence?

Well yes, but I also want to respect the girl. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable if she doesn't want it. Once we get past the first kiss though and I know it's mutual, I'll initiate cause I'll now she wants it. Basically I just put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't want someone to kiss me if I didn't want it.

[surfhb2]

Well yes, but I also want to respect the girl. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable if she doesn't want it. Once we get past the first kiss though and I know it's mutual, I'll initiate cause I'll now she wants it. Basically I just put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't want someone to kiss me if I didn't want it.

You are clueless ....please kill yourself

[smackie9]

No respecting the girl is not trying to sleep with her right away.

[actualgoodguy]

You should be able to feel that vibe, see it in her body language, tone in her voice, her enthusiasm, eye contact, etc. If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes. That would make you a stiff, awkward, not a risk taker, insecure, lack confidence, not adventurous = boring.

Well that's something I can't do is read signals. In college a girl liked me and I think I was the only one on campus who didn't know. People were actually placing bets on when I was gonna ask her out cause it was taking so long. Eventually she did and I was very surprised when she asked me. I mean you have a pretty good idea, but there's always that chance you're reading the girl wrong and that's what I want to avoid. But I guess what's the worst that can happen she slaps me in the face if I try to kiss her? I guess that's better than never knowing

[actualgoodguy]

If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes.

So you're saying if I can't pick up on the hints the girl is giving me this will be a turnoff for her? And that's my problem there's that chance that I'm reading her wrong and that's why I don't take that risk.

[actualgoodguy]

No respecting the girl is not trying to sleep with her right away.

Well I feel a kiss is disrespectful if they don't want it if it's invading their space and it's unwelcome.

[actualgoodguy]

It's about Chemistry. If there's chemistry, you kiss her - if there's no chemistry you don't

Well there was and I did but I made it very awkward cause I didn't know if she wanted to be kissed again. I went in for the kiss, but didn't stay to see if she wanted another one. Ahhh fu*k I blew it lol. She was def mad after, cause I could see it in her face when she drove away