Negative People

[bluesummer]

I've had to deal with some many of these ****ers at work in the last week, and it's annoying.

I'm just talking about those people that never have anything positive to say, and have to be nasty to everyone for any reason they can think of because they're sad, miserable people.

I'm still nice to them, although what I really want to do is tell them to take their shit elsewhere.

And I'm done.

[IndiReloaded]

Its our fast-paced culture, Blue. Stresses ppl out. Not enough down time.

Just remember that 99% of the time, it has nothing to do with you. Nasty ppl always have something else going on in their lives. That's how I think about it. That, and thinking that mbe the person you are nice to won't go home and take it out on a partner or their kid.

You have tons to be thankful for. That always makes me smile when mad-people happen.

Sometimes, tho, you get an opportunity to insert a mental 'psych' into a person you know can do better. You'll know when you see them. Take advantage of those opportunities when they arise.

[Illusional]

sounds like you were waiting tables when the kitchen was short handed.

raverboy

[Lite]

Well aren't we miss ****ing sunshine. And here you are saying negative shit about people!

(kidding)

Typically they're not angry at you, just frustrated at their own lives in general. It's not your fault they have small penises.

[lovesjoyajm]

I learned a valuable (painful) lesson the other day, and that is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt by assuming that they're having a worse day than you. You may not think that's possible, or that it's relevant to how they treat you/you treat them, but I find it comes in handy.

[lesa]

Yeah. I would think that they are having a very bad day and wonder what it may be.

[bluesummer]

I can understand people that are having a bad day....often if I'm nice and can coax some more info out of them, they usually open up and tell me what's going on. I generally go by the rule of refusing to take my negative energy out on other people because they don't deserve to be blindsided by my nasty feelings.

However, I'm not talking about the "I'm having a hard time" people. I'm talking about those people who are consistently mean, condescending, and look for reasons to berate people. It's almost like they can't function without being a jerkoff to at least one person a day......I can think of at least three people that I deal with on a constant basis that are like this, despite people's efforts to be helpful, kind, or accomodating.

Ugh. I realize it's just them. I'm a pretty positive person, so I don't let them bring me down.....I just really wonder how people can go on in life being so negative.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm talking about those people who are consistently mean, condescending, and look for reasons to berate people. It's almost like they can't function without being a jerkoff to at least one person a day......I can think of at least three people that I deal with on a constant basis that are like this, despite people's efforts to be helpful, kind, or accomodating.

The reasons are still the same, Blue. They are just the ones that your efforts go into a black hole for. Its like ppl who get stuck in Freuds 'anal stage', lol. That's just where they are in life, so caught up in their own shit that they can't see over the pile into someone else's world.

Remember the "I shit, you shit, we all got shit" thread? Can remember if its here or someplace else, but that's what it boils down to. You can't waste pearls on swine, they aren't ready for them.

I spend a LOT of time at work counselling 'angry women', lol. Its very time consuming. I could do it and nothing else all day. But that's just not practical, so I try to focus on those who I JUDGE (ew, there's that word again) to be worth the effort. And I have a very specific filter for that, meaning usually its someone who I think will future benefit the company. Tho sometimes I take on a 'personal' case, but one has to be careful. There are 'energy vampires' out there who will take everything you give them and still not improve, nor give a shit. Be careful who you give your energy to, Blue.

[lesa]

Maybe they are having a bad life .

I agree and I noticed some people appear to thrive off of being negative or even sad!

I suppose any attention of better than none. LOL, it's their 5-minutes of fame or in this case "gettting to you".

[IndiReloaded]

Its a distraction technique, Lesa. At least that's what I've found. Its much easier for someone to get mad at another person (esp if they are providing criticism/feedback in a work situation) than it is to actually look at themselves and consider what they could be doing better.

Individuals able to do this have something of a 'self-esteem' reserve, I have noticed. Those who don't rarely take feedback well. One learns to find other ways to manage such ppl.

[doppelgaenger]

Try this:

Them: *being negative*

you: "What's that? Excuse me? Maybe if you'd get all that cock out of your mouth I would be able to understand you."

[1averagejoe]

I've never understood why people get away with being such assholes at work. Work is when you are expected to act professional and do your job, not whine and bitch about whatever is bothering you.

I may be in the shittiest mood, but I always make sure to be polite and professional when it comes to work. An attitude like that will get you that promotion/raise/bonus. Bitching and whining to coworkers and/or your boss won't.

[Gribble]

I get angrier and angrier and angrier until I finally explode. Not a lovely sight. I hate working with people for that reason. I'm not willing to suck it up. I'm not willing to turn the other cheek. I've pretty much devoted all my efforts toward finding ways to work alone, even if it means earning less. It beats being perpetually unemployed because I told my boss exactly what he deserved to hear.

[Only-virgins]

There is a lot to be pissed about and little to like in this world and country. WTF do you expect?

[IndiReloaded]

I've never understood why people get away with being such assholes at work.

They don't. It inevitably comes back to bite them. But try explaining this to a young 20-something just out of university expecting the world to be handed to them on a plate.

I always make sure to be polite and professional when it comes to work. An attitude like that will get you that promotion/raise/bonus. Bitching and whining to coworkers and/or your boss won't.

Yes. In this case, you will do well, AJ. Of course, this just means you will get you promoted above the whiners. Which means you still have to deal with them, just in a different way.

Here's a great example that happened to me a couple years back:

I had a manager who hired a contract worker that was giving her huge grief. Showing up late, sub-contracting parts of her work to another gal (yep another gal) who, b/c we didn't have a contract with her, we couldn't do anything about when she didn't show one day. The contractor was refusing to return any of my managers phone calls.

Yeah. Fun times.

Anyway, I was asked me to intervene, as my gal was at the end of her rope. When I got the name of the contract woman, I recognized her name & company signature as someone trying to win a contract in the university dept my husband works at.

Man, I enjoyed that intervention.

I didn't confront the woman directly, merely sent her a message saying how I understood there was some communication difficulty and that I was sure she didn't mean anything about not getting back to my manager, but would she please do so & get things sorted out. I mentioned a couple of other things about our company policy, etc that she 'might not be aware of'. Oh, and that I recognized her company name and how I knew the Chair of the Dept they were trying to get a contract with at the university. And that I wished her well in that endeavor.



My manager got a phone call that evening and a profuse apology.