Fallen for another girl

[Sunwontshine]

Just seeking some advice, i have a girlfriend of which everything seems to going as well as expected, but being away on a somewhat holiday (an hour away) i met another girl who ive fallen for... hard. Basically im torn, i know its wrong and i know this could potentially become a mess but this other girl honestly seems worth the risk, tho she has a somewhat abusive partner. Just wanna know from a 3rd person perspective, im absolutely mental for this new girl, but im torn coz i have a decent relationship going, do i risk this massive change? im young and its not like im going to marry the girl im with atm which we're both on the same page about, just... really really torn right now, this girl is the picture image of everything i could ever ask for, to not have her would feel to me that i know the perfect girl and im not having her... which is stupid. any opinions? ones that actually contribute im not interested in that doomed relationship list lol cheers.

[Junket]

Haha, are you referring to my "doomed internet relationships"?

So long as it's not an on-line thing, you're exempt.

Anyway, you're young, and you wanna poke your penis into many vaginas, so you're always gonna see other women's "greener" sides.

But first, tell us your ages and more about this relationship with her "abusive" boyfriend.

[Sunwontshine]

Nah not just an online thing, i mean obviously we use it but i have actually met this girl lol. Shes 22 im 19. Its just confusing coz her boyfriends this 6"9 raging psycho who shes not in love with but has fallen for me, wants to be with me and make it work, and i do wanna be with her and make it all work, BUT then, i guess "reality" works its way through and i see the value in my current mrs, and i dont wanna hurt her but i guess we all hurt each other eventually

[Junket]

Be careful about the abused girls.

They're typically damaged goods, but if she's still in out right abusive relationship, then there's something not right about her personality. She may turn up being very insecure, needy/clingy, because she may look to you as the "shining knight". Guys that flock to girls like this we dub as having the "shining knight syndrome". They get a kick out of being morally superior and saving the damsel in distress.

Not that I'm saying this is you, but any girl that does flock to another guy like that after being in a shitty relationship is bound to have a few things off.

All very general presumptions.

How's your sex life?

[Sunwontshine]

I think we're both damaged good in our own way, i dont think her boyfriend is insanely abusive just doesnt give a shit if shes upset and get rather heavy handed with her. Hes a douche basically. This girl looks, acts, talks, common interests and just the parallels are unbelievable, but now i think she wants some security of if we're gonna be serious about trying meaning ditching the partners, and its just gonna be really hard to go down that road like "hey hun i know weve been having a pretty good relationship and stuff but i wanna break up" i mean stuffs getting kinda boring anyway, as for the sex life its pretty predictable, and she did the crying routine of "i feel like im just your friend" over one night. i dunno... its doing my head in coz if i loose either im gonna be ruined but somethings gonna happen and i was stupid enough to get in this situation.

[Junket]

Hey man, it's your call.

But whatever you do, commit to it 100%.

You of course run the risk of losing both, don't go running back to your old g/f in the event that happens.

If you're gonna take the risk make sure it's calculated.

[Sunwontshine]

yeah i feel like this other chick isnt really the patient type coz i told her i want to see her again before i make any decisions and now i gotta figure that out, one the biggest problems, we're both Bi-polar

[TheGreek]

yeah i feel like this other chick isnt really the patient type coz i told her i want to see her again before i make any decisions and now i gotta figure that out, one the biggest problems, we're both Bi-polar

That should give you your answer right there.

[Junket]

Would you call that quad-polar?

[Bo]

speaking from a female's point of view, i have to say don't do anything stupid!! ya i mean don't dump your gf for this chick. dude u don't even know the girl! are u serious??? in the end it's really your call but how long have u been with your gf? if u're having problems with a relationship right now that is perfectly fine. i can tell u RIGHT NOW you're never gonna be happy with any girl. other than your current relationship being boring, why else would u leavE?...i mean all u need to do is tell your gf and spice things up....so honestly i think u need to reevaluate because this girl and u bein bi-polar and all...not gonna work

[carl1222]

If her boyfriend is abusive, why is she still with him?

[HeyPete]

...i mean all u need to do is tell your gf and spice things up...

I'm currently in a similar position and have begged the current gf to spice things up, but she hasnt, so we go through cycles of having a serious chat, her saying she will, but never delivers. So at what point do you say, shes not gonna put the effort you want in, so leave her and move to the new girl?

[Bo]

I'm currently in a similar position and have begged the current gf to spice things up, but she hasnt, so we go through cycles of having a serious chat, her saying she will, but never delivers. So at what point do you say, shes not gonna put the effort you want in, so leave her and move to the new girl?

well in that case if you're really not happy in your relationship than break up with your gf. But one important question really quick, did u cheat on your gf? Because it sounds like u did, u technically are cheating emotionally if not physically already. Which means u should leave your gf because u don't deserve her and shouldn't be with anyone until u learn how to be faithful

[swargolet]

My gf left me for the same reason. Our relationship was fine she just lost feelings for me and gained them for someone else.

She also told me many times that I was mono-tone and just didnt seem to care. Well all those words went in one ear and out the other. It took a huge event like this break-up for me to realize. So I really dont think that just telling her to spice things up will help. If you want to make your current relationship work then you need a major event to change it. Show her what she might be losing if you guys break-up and tell her why.
Also you are young and should meet other girls. It is always sad to see relationships and because people get hurt but at your age and at hers it might be the best thing.
I'd say just take some more time to think about it, maybe talk to her and make it known how important it is and if in a week things dont change then break-up.
Just dont try to force the relationship and also dont go back on your word.