Girlfriend - What is she thinking?

[cai01]

Hey,

This is my second time using this forum, the first time was to deal with a break up with this very same girlfriend, and I'd like to know some opinions on what she's thinking about.

The story is she's Chinese, and I'm part Chinese, we can communicate in Chinese or English, we each prefer our mother tongues. Anyways, we've been dating for roughly eight months now, and we basically live together. Three months into the relationship she broke up with me for a night and a day, but still stuck around, then declared she loved me again. She left me because she was still torn about her old boyfriend that she broke up with, they had a bad history together and I think she felt haunted by it, and then he called her one day saying his brother had died and he regretted this and that. Eventually, she e-mailed him and said have a good life, but their relationship was turning into ours, so she wanted to end all correspondence, which she seems to have done.

Anyways, that's the first of a few break ups, and it was the longest. After that, it feels like we break up once every two months or so for 5 or 10 minutes during that period she calls me rubbish... It's usually over things I do. I'm super considerate but I leave out stuff sometimes and it feels like if I'm not perfect, she's furious. I'm happy with her and I trust her, but it's all very confusing. When something goes wrong she's very stormy, but for me, when something goes wrong I never show anger, I just try to find something different to do or attack the problem from another angle. She also says she's a very patient person, but her patience is razor thin

Another thing is that during our first break up a friend helped me through it, and now the majority of my closest friends despise her. They can't really communicate with her and have never met her face to face (they're in my hometown back home while I'm in Shanghai). Their opinions as friends are important to me, and knowing a few of them, I know they can't be changed.

She's funny, smart, and it's like having a best friend and lover all wrapped into one person. From a girl's perspective, what is she doing?

[Okay]

It is actually quite scary how much your girlfriend reminds me of me...
Except that I've never had an Ex.

Sometimes my bf does something that irritates me, and I get a little moody and have a half serious, half playful sulk. Then he will ask me whats wrong and I tell him and he "fixes" the problem. But sometimes, I feel like my bf doesn't get the point, or doesn't notice certain things and it makes me kind of sad and annoyed.

I understand that stereotypically men don't takes hints well... maybe you're missing something, pay a little more attention to her. Ask her to be more open and tell her that she doesn't need to bottle up her feelings till the last minute (in which case it will make her moody as she may be thinking over things alot). Stay considerate, affectionate and attentive and everything should be okay. Also make sure to get your feelings across, I learned talking to the gf/bf really does help alot.

Good luck!