trust issues? please help!

[arex]

Alright, I've been through a lot of harsh relationships with some shitty girlfriends. Who have either cheated on me or just stabbed me in the back for some reason or another. Though now I'm in a relationship with a girl who is absolutely amazing, she makes me so happy, we've been seeing each other for 5 months now. I'm a lowly person with no current job (I'm 18 and looking if that makes a difference ^^) though I'm going off to college in less than a month. She's a very genuine girl who has no problems speaking her mind, especially to me (kinda scary when she's mad).

Alright, time to get to the point here. I don't know why, but I've lost some trust in her, somehow. I have no idea how it came about, maybe it's the fact that I've been stuck in a damn house for too long. My car was wrecked and totaled not long ago, so I've been housebound for quite a while. She has no car at the moment (she's kinda young) so she has to get rides to my house my mother goes and gets her since it's too far to walk. So in turn we have not seen much of each other besides texting and talking on the phone. Though that's becoming somewhat farther in between, she does have a social life and school work as well as practice so I give her the benefit of the doubt in that, though when we actually get to talking we can talk for hours on end, four or five without much (if any) awkwardness.

She has really done nothing for me to lose my trust in her, I've been stressed out and I am also an overthinker if that makes a difference. It hurts her because of this, and I'm saddened by the fact that I seemingly cannot trust her even though she has done nothing wrong. It's gotten to the point where a text from a friend jokingly said she was with him and I went overboard which I apologized profusely for. I need to get out more and see people though without a car or any transportation that is nigh impossible without walking.

She told me that she was asked out by another guy, and she didn't want to be a lowlife and just dump him without testing the waters first. I want to trust her, and I've currently put all my trust in her right now, I'm going all in on her right now to make the right decisions for herself. I'm trying so hard, but my thoughts limit me due to past relationships, and being away from her for long periods of time shakes me up.

Am I being too overdramatic? Optimism isn't really one of my strong points. She's also told me that I've changed, and I see what she means. I don't act as spunky as I used to, I've become very self conscious about myself and what I say, like awkwardness with anyone I'm around... and I've kind of lost "me". I think that if I got out more and spent time with my friends that I would find myself again...

Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks

[SplendidGray]

Like all relationships, the best thing that will help it to develop is putting the focus on HER well-being and HER happiness. You are 18 and going off to school soon, God knows whats going to happen with you, her, and how you feel about each other. It's not that you are being over-dramatic, but that you are at a time in your life where there is so much uncertainty on the horizon. There is only one thing you can do if you desire a future with this girl: keep your on doing what you can to help her and make her happy. If you don't focus on being a loving person, your mind is just going to find something to sink its teeth into, like your past relationship pain/drama. You have a month left before school, be cool and don't go crazy. Now is a great time to do a little spiritual or philosophical reading or investigation. You say you've been feeling awkward, why not delve into some religion/spirituality and seek if you can figure it out?

[bulrush]

You said she has done nothing wrong, yet she is dating you and someone else? What's up with that? That would make anyone feel awkward.

As for the job, there really are no jobs out there, whether you have skills or not. Employers seem to be avoiding highly experienced people over 50 (as their health insurance would be higher) and younger people under 25 (they are generally unreliable), so that makes it harder on you. I don't know how reliable you are, but employers make generalizations about certain generations, since they have nothing else to go on.

So, if possible, volunteer somewhere for no pay, just to get experience. That's what my son did, he volunteered for 2 summers, and this summer he should have a paying position at the same place. Once an employer sees you volunteered, consistently, they will say "Hmm, this guy is different, in a good way" and will seriously consider your resume.

[smackie9]

You are off to school in a month....you are best to be single. There will be lots of girls there that you can have more fun with. Plus doing a long distance thing and being so busy with your studies, you won't have time to be involved with her.

"She told me that she was asked out by another guy, and she didn't want to be a lowlife and just dump him without testing the waters first." Are you just friends? Sounds to me she ain't anything like a GF if she is out dating another guy.

[MaidenMinx]

I agree with everything said above. Had you two had the exclusivity talk before she was asked out by this other guy?

I'm also confused by you being completely house bound. Sure you have no car, but isn't there some level of public transport? And if you were banging to pay for gas when you did have a car, it stands to reason you should be able to afford a bike...
Also if your mum can pick her up, why can't your mum drop you off somewhere a few times a week?

[smackie9]

How about making the walk shorter and meet half way.

[bcgirl]

Are there no buses that run in your town?? I don't have a car either, but I use public transit to get everywhere. Anyhow, you are still very young. Don't sweat too much....

[tmc92ic]

Did you say she is dating another guy? Wtf man... your okay with that?

[arex]

Did you say she is dating another guy? Wtf man... your okay with that?

She was asked out right after we had the fight, I had said some things that I didn't mean such as "you're too much trouble than you're worth" which I apologized profusely for, she took it as a break up on the spot though. Shortly after the fight and before I apologized she was asked out by this other guy named Johnathon, she didn't want to be shallow and say no, so now she's currently seeing him, but says she still has a place in her heart for me. Yeah it hurt me when she said she was currently seeing another guy, but I can't control her, we had a talk about it and I told her how I felt about it, she seemed to understand pretty well how I felt about it.

I probably won't be taking her back if she comes crawling back to me, she's a tough cookie, I don't see him lasting long. I want her to make her own decisions, and if she leaves me for this other guy so she can be happy, I'm ok with that, I just want her to be happy. I just hope she doesn't fall into a relationship with another guy that treats her like shit or a complete whore.

[smackie9]

I just hope she doesn't fall into a relationship with another guy that treats her like shit or a complete whore.

kind of like the one she just left huh.......

[arex]

kind of like the one she just left huh.......

No, I hardly did a thing to treat her like shit, I never made her feel like a whore, or anything of the sort

[bcgirl]

I just hope she doesn't fall into a relationship with another guy that treats her like shit or a complete whore.

she'd get her just desserts one day. That is the whole thing about karma.