I can never get a boyfriend is there something wrong with me?

[parkbom]

Well actually I almost became a guy's girlfriend but I got scared and ran from the relationship because he kept talking about marriage and kids and moving in with him. I went out with him for about 5 months. I'm not ready for that and definitely not ready to move to his place when I can't even support myself yet and find a job since I just graduated. So I ran from it. Sometimes I have regrets, sometimes I have none.

Some of my guy friends like me and I don't like them. When I don't like a guy, I can be myself and say whatever is on my mind without them thinking I am annoying, but when I like someone or have an interest on them. I start hesitating and getting anxious and think a lot about what I should say or how I should respond. I think too much and worry if they would ignore me if they knew I liked them. Everytime I like someone, it never works out or they suddenly get a girlfriend (even though we've been flirting/talking a lot). Is it because I'm not be direct. I feel like sometimes I play games or something and it confuses them. NOt that i do it on purpose. It's just that I get shy and nervous and it's hard to be myself. When I like someone, it's hard to express myself and therefore some guys may think I am cold or nonresponsive and shy like I'm not into them.

I was thinking about why guys I don't like end up liking me and why guys I like won't like me. So I wondered whether it's because I can't be myself and talk more.
I'm insecure and worry if I am pretty or not and stuff. But I know there are some girls who aren't that pretty, but are able to find a boyfriend. So that can't be the case, so I think it has to do with my personality. I think it's because I have multiple personalities and its not consistent. Like one day I can so talkative and the next day I can be quiet. I'm usually quiet when I'm with people I don't know very well. I'm quiet when I don't have much to say or anything to relate to the topic... I have trouble expressing myself and thinking of things to say.

SOmetimes people find me funny and weird and sometimes people find me quiet and shy... and cold... =/ I always try to be consistent and express myself more but I'm become a loser. =(

[MaidenMinx]

Before any one else can accept you, you need to accept you.

And I may get flamed by other users here for asking this, but I'm wondering if I am guessing correctly.. Are you a cancerian by any chance?

[loverman1]

yes you need to accept being you. Its important to like yourself and accept yourself, so my advice is just to focus on you and don't even worry about guys.

The more you love yourself, the more loveable you will become to everyone, the more chance you will have in getting a guy. Its simple!

[bulrush]

Here's why you can't get a boyfriend:

• I can't even support myself yet and find a job since I just graduated. Who wants to date someone who cannot take care of themselves? They don't want a baby to take care of, they want a partner.
• I think too much and worry if they would ignore me if they knew I liked them.
• Is it because I'm not be direct. I feel like sometimes I play games or something and it confuses them. Yes, your post sounds like you cannot decide how to act, or what to say, so it looks like you are wishy-washy. Guys hate that.
• It's just that I get shy and nervous and it's hard to be myself. When I like someone, it's hard to express myself and therefore some guys may think I am cold or nonresponsive and shy like I'm not into them. Then have better communication, be direct but tactful. I used to be shy, and I practiced and got over it.
• I'm insecure and worry if I am pretty or not and stuff. This is a major reason why guys won't get serious with you. You need to fix this. Looks cannot trump confidence. They also don't want to deal with all the drama the girls bring with this type of personality issue.
• But I know there are some girls who aren't that pretty, but are able to find a boyfriend. They get dates because they are confident. This is really important.
• I think it's because I have multiple personalities and its not consistent. Guys hate it when girls can't make up their minds.
  

The foundation of the problem seems to be your insecurities. Try to work on that. You might need to see a counselor for a year or so. But if you have not job, and no insurance, that might be hard to do.

[parkbom]

I have a part time job right now, but you guys are right... I need to have more confidence in myself and I need to learn to love myself.

[Anaruz omerghad]

yes you should be confident and courageous in order to conquer shyness and lack of confidence.and i am sure when you come to restablish your personality you would have more chances.

[bcgirl]

You are absolutely normal and don't have multiple personalities. You probably are introverted by nature. Nothing wrong with introverts...they make up 50% of the population. You are shy and quiet around people you don't know but you can be open and social with people that are close to you like friends, family, co-workers. People tend to have 2 personalities. One personality is intended for those that you don't really know because of fear of being judged, being embarrassed, how to behave in society like for example when you walk on a bus, you don't just sit next to a stranger and start talking to him about your life...no, you would find a seat that is empty and not budge into ppl's space. But, behind a computer screen of being annonymous you are able to say whatever you want on a forum or chat room and be more yourself.

As for being shy around guys you like..... that is soo normal it's not even funny. It's a good thing that a guy gives you butterflies in your tummy, makes you weak in the knee's, make you tongue tied and your palms sweat....you like him so much that you don't want to say anything stupid to embarrass yourself. God forbid if you ever accidentally farted infront of him...whereas if you were around close friends or family, you wouldn't give a crap if you let one rip in front of them. On a first date most people would order something like a salad or something "safe" that doesn't cause bad breath and doesn't make you look like a pig, most people wouldn't dare order a plate of garlic/onion meat loaf that will make you tired, your breath smell bad, and make you gassy all night.
I'm not trying to promote alcoholism or drunkeness, but going out on a first date and getting to know each other over a couple of alcholic beverages is very popular. It loosens up the nerves and gives you a little liquid courage. When you like someone romantically, people tend to be on their "best behaviour" and they fear that they will do something stupid, say something dumb, whatever it is and they don't want the other person viewing them as a loser.

Always just remember the guys probably have the worst of it. They are the ones expected to ask the girls out on the first date, the guys are the ones expected to contact the girls after the first date and most likely ask them out on the second date. They are probably the ones getting their ego's bruised and not thinking you are into them because of the lack of response or feedback you give them after they try to cater to the girl on the dates, get the courage to ask the girl out again, try to stay on their best behaviour....eventually any guy would just give up because they will just think the girl is uninterested and they will think they were the ones that did something embarrassing or stupid and just blame themselves.

[bulrush]

I think you might benefit from a close friend or boyfriend who is good at encouraging you, building you up, and helping you find yourself. A person like that will support you in trying new things, even if they are not real common or mainstream. But that means you have to take a risk, and you might have to ask the guys out.

[oldskool83]

how old are you? why do you need a b/f. it sound slike you cant even handle yourself let along stress from another person. you sound young and not sure what you want. focus on finding a job to support yourself. guys dont like supporting women unless they are married to them and we dont even need to talk about they right now.

hows that for a kick in the vag lol!