Ladies are you friends with your ex boyfriends?

**phenom833** · 17-09-11, 07:59 AM

me and my ex girlfriend go to the same college and we hang out all the time, well i thought she had feelings for me and after talking to her about it i found out she doesnt want a relationship and her feelings arent that high for me like in that way. But she said she does love hanging out and stuff . So girls i wanna be her friend and stuff but is there a chance that maybe we can get back together. Are you friends with your exs and if so have you thought of getting back together some day or am i just wanting to much. Also do i keep being her close friend, she said i was a gentlemen today and also gave me a hug. She says no to us being together but we have gotten along so well, whats it mean thats she still nice to me, Is there any chance for us if i wait it out

**smackie9** · 17-09-11, 09:38 AM

NO! you are an ex for a reason.....not that into you duh.

**cathy22** · 17-09-11, 10:48 AM

I hear from my ex boyfriend occasionally, but he lives in a distant state now, so our friendship will probably just fade away.

**JadenMia** · 17-09-11, 10:52 AM

Yeah, i dont really communicate with any of my exes. I realise if it didnt work the first time, it wouldnt work. Ever.

This is what you should keep in mind.

**phenom833** · 17-09-11, 10:59 AM

I care for her so much and i just wanna be with her so bad but she just doesnt want to have a relationship, she just wants me to be here for her at college cause there isnt anyone else

**Leona77** · 17-09-11, 04:32 PM

No befriending the ex-es! The dumper usually stays friends to calm their guilty conscience & out of habit (because they got used to the good company without wanting to be your gf) & the dumpee stays friends because of hope...Both have wrong reasons. The relationship is over. If you want to be constantly reminded of how much she doens't want you to be her boyfriend, then be my guest ans wait for her!
[QUOTEshe just wants me to be here for her at college cause there isnt anyone else [/QUOTE]
You said it, not us!

**Andariel** · 17-09-11, 06:51 PM

You can't be friends with your ex if you still have feelings for her and you are hoping that one day you might get back together.The only thing you will achieve by being friends with her is hurting yourself on a daily basis. You will keep wondering what she meant by saying this and that or by doing something (ie. giving you a hug or a kiss on the cheek).

Your relationship didn't work out for a reason and she has made it clear she does not want to be with you anymore.As difficult as that is to take in it is importhat you accept her decision and start moving on with you rlife. Remaining friends with her will only prolong your heartache and will be a major setback in you finally getting over her and moving on.

She is not coming back so don't torture yourself by staying friends. It is a win-win situation for her but what about you?Do you want to continue to be in pain?Do you want to watch her with other guys?Do you want her to start telling you about them?My guess is no, so the best think you can do for yourself is to go no contact with her from now on and to start focusing on yourself and healing from the break up which can't happen while she is still a part of your life.

**smackie9** · 18-09-11, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by phenom833

I care for her so much and i just wanna be with her so bad but she just doesnt want to have a relationship, she just wants me to be here for her at college cause there isnt anyone else

Ya she wants to use you for her emotional tampon until she hooks up with some other guy. Tell her to piss off.

**bloodtippedrose** · 18-09-11, 11:43 AM

Andariel said it all!

I am friends with both of my ex boyfriends via messaging and email, not psychically hanging out. My friendships work with my ex's because we have completely moved on from each other. I would never consider getting back together and I view them as a different person as the one I knew intimately.

I feel what you're going through because Ive been there myself. After my first bf broke it off with me, he felt bad and wanted to stay my friend so I agreed. Worst mistake ever because I still loved him. The friendship turned out to be a few months of my own personal hell because everytime he touched me I would think he still was in love. And when he was dating someone else it was like a fresh breakup all over again. All I did was prevent myself from moving on and prolonged my own pain, thats it, and it sucked.

I would not recommend staying friends with your ex. She made it clear to you that she's ready to move on. Her saying that is as black and white as it gets, don't let her hugs confuse you. The healthiest thing for you to do is distance yourself from your ex. I gave four years worth of distance before befriending.

**phenom833** · 18-09-11, 12:06 PM

yeah ive always told her i would be here for her so i feel ignoring and no contact would be throwing her out in cold

**bloodtippedrose** · 18-09-11, 12:27 PM

In that case youll just have to live with it all. You sticking around and watching her fall in love with others will be very hurtful but if you think you can push through it and possibly find someone else to date while maintaining a friendship with her then more power to you.

**IndiReloaded** · 18-09-11, 12:34 PM

I wouldn't call an ex 'friend' but I never really had a bad breakup, either. I do have a couple male friends one might call 'could have beens'. Not sure that's the same thing, tho.

**steveymay** · 18-09-11, 08:49 PM

my ex broke up with me a month and a half ago... i work with her... we had a two and half year relationship. now thats ****ed up. i cant get her out of my life... and all our friends are the same people... im ****ed lol. all i wanna do is reconcile. but its ridiculous how happy she looks. my guts are all over the floor.! when does suicide no longer become an option? lol any advice about reconciliation or.... not! or n e one been in this situation before can offer a friendly ear? x

**ironmn43** · 19-09-11, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by steveymay

my ex broke up with me a month and a half ago... i work with her... we had a two and half year relationship. now thats ****ed up. i cant get her out of my life... and all our friends are the same people... im ****ed lol. all i wanna do is reconcile. but its ridiculous how happy she looks. my guts are all over the floor.! when does suicide no longer become an option? lol any advice about reconciliation or.... not! or n e one been in this situation before can offer a friendly ear? x

I can suggest a strategy that I find works on me... I have observed that once the girl has spoken rudely to me, most of my feelings and despair just turn off. Probably its because I have too much of self respect, I can only try to be nice so long.
Maybe you can try pissing her off and venting all your depression and despair.

**smackie9** · 19-09-11, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by ironmn43

I can suggest a strategy that I find works on me... I have observed that once the girl has spoken rudely to me, most of my feelings and despair just turn off. Probably its because I have too much of self respect, I can only try to be nice so long.
Maybe you can try pissing her off and venting all your depression and despair.

Oh ya that would make you look like a winner!

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