Does This Sound Familiar? (Guys)

[DuckyWucky]

I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely
familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very
attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the
more he began to feel attracted to her... and
the more time he spent with her, the more that
attraction grew into a deep emotional
attachment and affection for her.

But there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she
felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes she would say things like "You are
so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in
my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the
"friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional
kiss on the cheek from her... and once she even
held his hand for a long time while he talked
about an emotional issue.

But something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was
"falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be
his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less
time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing
over this girl, the man finally arrived at the
conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT,
that she would feel the same way.

So he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he was felt.

He confessed that he was in love, and that he
would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes
and said "Thank you... I really mean that... but
I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're
too important to me...".

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but
that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-
term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that
she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on
the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like
this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much
he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step,
bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long,
long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a
week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy, and
said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have
to go"... and hung up...

...but he never got a call back.

Over the following months, the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and
what happened.

THE END

I've been in that type of situation before. When I read this I was like, wow that sounds like the old school me.

[lemonade69]

sure..it's the worst feeling in the world..ANY reply is better than no reply..
what's diff about my situation is this guy used to like me. but i guessed he moved on. oh well.

[LightOn]

The "invisible" rejection always sucks...However things could have always been worse. Has anyone masterd the art of Mind reading?!?

[Ancion-R]

I guess she likes you as a friend and don´t want to hurt you. That´s why she ignores you. Because she knows that anything she could possibly say would hurt you. And that´s why saying nothing seems like the best option to her.

Regards!

[sfalexi]

I think the downfall was when he wrote the letter. Once she says no, it's time to move on. Don't look back and keep hoping. Just move on. It's like watching "Old Yeller" and hoping that THIS time, at the end, the dog WON'T get rabies and won't be killed. It's set in stone, and no matter how much you wish and try, the ending is gonna be the same. You're a friend. So give it up, and ask her to at least introduce you to some of her friends.

Alexi

[thesynergist]

The whole situation was doomed to be a friendship very early on...long talks, holding hands while discussing "emotional issues"....the guy outlined was her emotional tampon, not love interest, and buying her gifts and writing long notes was just a further supplication. You can't expect a girl to be attracted to you if you give yourself and time to her so much...you've got a life full of important goals and obligations and don't have time to spend hours soaking up her baggage (or at least that should be the case). You MUST keep a bit of distance initially, make it clear that you're a busy MAN with tons to do.

A real MAN has 3 emotions: Happy, Angry, and Don't Give a F*ck. Long chats about her Life and Issues are an absolutely fantastic way to be her friend...and nothing else. You've got to be a challenge, she's got to be chasing YOU, or she won't respect you and won't be attracted to you.

[DuckyWucky]

A real MAN has 3 emotions: Happy, Angry, and Don't Give a F*ck. Long chats about her Life and Issues are an absolutely fantastic way to be her friend...and nothing else. You've got to be a challenge, she's got to be chasing YOU, or she won't respect you and won't be attracted to you.

You win the prize! That's exactly what this guy wasn't doing, and what is the mistake of so many other guys when pursuing a girl.

[jane]

Originally posted by DuckyWucky
You win the prize! That's exactly what this guy wasn't doing, and what is the mistake of so many other guys when pursuing a girl.

exactly. Being an A$%hole doesn't make women flock to you, it just makes you look like an ass. Congradulations!

[DuckyWucky]

exactly. Being an A$%hole doesn't make women flock to you, it just makes you look like an ass. Congradulations!

Who said anything about being an asshole Jane? Should the guy be super nice and end up in the same situation our friend is above in what I posted? He became just that. A FRIEND.

Sure maybe he'd make a good husband down the road. Until then he's gonna sit around and wonder why he can't get girls like that other guy who seems so mean. He would NEVER do that to a girl, yet why can't he be as successful with them?

[imissyou]

heh, I think I'm about half way through this cycle right now... about here

"The insecurity that he felt became a spiral
that amplified itself... and the more insecure he
became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing
things up" by kissing her or asking her to be
his girlfriend."

lol. so true