My ex dumped me... but its cool.

[mockingbird]

So my ex went to her hometown for x-mas to spend time with her family, and while she was away she dumped me, like a week ago, she said she was tired of my control over her, that she wanted to be free, and bla bla bla, and her feelings changed because of that, she told me that she doesn't want be with anyone right now. So i asked: "well, do u still love me??" and she replied: No. so I told her that i had nothing else to say and i hanged up.

Well, this situation happened before, she once told me the same thing, we broke up, and the next day we were together again, and i told this to her when we were breaking up, but she said this time was different.

So, the first day i felt very bad and i wanted to search for her, but i didn't and i haven't since then. So she started doing little things, posting pics of us in facebook and stuff (like ilike ur post), but i decided to not search for her because i dont want to become one of those begging guys and i wasnt sure of what that meant, well finally a couple days ago, her cousin told me that she asked him to call me to find out how i was (her cousin loves me, and is completely loyal to me), so i thought that was weird but nothing else.

So her cousin asked me what should he say when she called him back, and i said well if she calls u, tell her that i was going to watch a movie so i couldnt speak at the time.

Well at night on msn there was a message from her cousin, telling me that she called him, and he told her what i told him to say, and apparently she became really serious, and began to ask, who was with him??? At what time?? and bla bla bla.

Well that night..(yesterday) my ex sent me an email at 1 am, telling me that she was glad i was ok, that she couldnt resist sending me the email, and that she just wanted to say hi.

So, what do u think? i want her back, but if that's not possible i am ready to move on, and i think that she can notice that and shes freaking out. Maybe she just want me to start begging but maybe shes having second thoughts. Anyway i want some advice on the whole issue, i really feel a bit angry because she dumped me on x-mas time, when i was alone, and had a surgery recently (nose job lol), so i really want to get her back, but i want to make things hard for her, as a test. This is not resentment i just feel that what she did wasnt nice, and she needs to grow up and stop the drama. So any tactics will be deeply appreciated, stuff to make her crazy and pull herself together once and for all.

Sorry for my bad english my main language is german so please understand.

[lastwish]

Well, how do you feel about her. Do an honest assessment of the relationship. If you love her and will do anything for you two to be together, then don't deny and tell her. But if she isn't worth your ego getting hurt, then don't do it. If you start playing (being hot and cold) as a "test" then you are only going to cause more drama between you two.

[soulsurvivor23]

Honestly, I don't know the full extent of your situation, and I might be a little bit bitter due to my own, but I don't think a girl should be able to just set you aside whenever, tell you she doesn't have feelings for you and then ask for you back. If she thinks you're controlling, fine... If she has this or that problem with you, fine, it can be worked on if the love is there. But if she can bold faced tell you that she doesn't love you anymore on multiple occasions, it may sound harsh but let her go. Each time she comes in and out will be even harder for you.

[kez73]

From what you have written here, my first reaction is that she is playing games and if you don't want to be part of that, this would be a good time to move on. you have broken up at least twice in this manner and then she comes back each time - how many more times do you want to do that before finally cutting ties for good? It sounds very immature and childish to dump someone, then get their cousin to phone, then act jealous if you were watching a movie with someone else, and sending an email to stake her territory again. She dumped you - you can watch a movie with whoever you want (but I think you were by yourself lol).... but she gets all territorial and stuff like that irks me.

It reminds me of when an ex split up with me in April one year. That November I started seeing someone else (he had been seeing someone else that whole time, even before we split up!), but when it was ME dating, he got jealous and even admitted it to me. I was SO MAD. He called me and said he was feeling weird and jealous and I almost laughed my head right off. I couldn't believe it. He dumped me, he cheated on me, but months later was jealous I was moving on??? I don't have time for games like that and I don't know if you want to engage in that over and over either.