moving on after a difficult marriage and divorce

[kim07]

i am 23 and i have a 13 month old daughter. we left her father 9 months ago. We were married for about 3 ½ years. We married young (19) but we grew up together and i thought i knew him well and was in love. shortly after we got married he became verbally abusive (calling me stupid, idiot, severely threatening me, constantly belittling me). then he became physically abusive. it started with shoving and grabbing my arms roughly and yelling in my face when i said something "stupid" or "challenged" him and led to slapping and hitting and eventually one day to punching me in the stomach and dragging me down the hall, then threatened to kill both our daughter and i if i left with her, which is when I finally decided to leave. We left him one day a few weeks after that before he came home from work. He tried to convince me to come back so that we could “work on it together” but I didn’t. He was also very manipulative and while I had my suspicions, shortly after we left it came out that he was cheating as well, which is when I finally decided to file for divorce. Its been final for about 3 weeks now and he's shown very little interest in our daughter since, which convinces me even more that im doing the right thing. I’ve been in therapy for about 6 months and im to go back to school soon to become an rn (trying to stay busy). I’ve been getting stronger and focusing on being a great single parent for my daughter but its still a battle every other day to move on. And I know I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. i just want to know: how its possible to move on from that situation and maybe even find a great guy (after awhile) who actually cares about me and my daughter and who could be a great father to her? honestly he has me doubting the existence of great men all together, plus the fact that i never had a great relationship with my own father. would any man even want to date a divorced woman with a child, especially after i've been in a relationship like that and how can i know what man to trust not to be manipulative and so insensitive??!

[dem862]

First you need to grieve and recover from your last relationship before you are emotionally available for someone else. It should take some months. I think alot a women skip that step before moving on because there is
So much opportunity with other men.

[IndiReloaded]

Congrats on finding the strength to get out. Not just for you, but for your daughter. Major kudos.

Yes, there are plenty of decent men who will find you worth loving. That you think not, is your ravaged self-esteem (and probably your ex) talking. Here is an article that may help. Read it, and post your thoughts if you need to discuss more.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/190842-how-to-get-back-into-a-relationship-after-an-abusive-marriage/

[vashti]

A word of warning for you: there WILL be men who will want to be involved with you after you become a nurse. Just be careful... we (nurses) tend to attract a disproportionate number of men who need "nursing" of one kind or another. Just move slowly, and keep thinking objectively... don't be ruled by your emotions.

[Wakeup]

I’ve been in therapy for about 6 months

Why not discuss this with your therapist? That's who knows you and at what stage of recovery from the abuse you're currently at. There certainly are good men out there but you'll not recognize who they are if you're doubting your own value. Congratualations on having the strength to leave a situtation like that, Kim... good job!