Looking for some insight.

[adrie187]

Hi all, I am going to endeavor to include all the necessary information to gain your advice, but if I miss something please let me know.

My boyfriend, ex now..is 30, I am 24. We are at a grand total of 17 months together. We started living together too soon. He was going through a divorce when we got together, and has been pretty unwilling to commit through the entirety of our relationship. We have been on one hell of a roller coaster! Our problem is trust. Immediately I know a relationship without trust is doomed. He would act shady & secretive, I would snoop around to figure out why, he would find out, I would try to talk or lie my way out of it. He would forgive me, behave for a while, start back at step one.

A couple months ago, he found out that a male co-worker of mine was attempting to pursue me, and flipped his lid! After his initial anger, he apologized and said he realized that I wasn't encouraging this other guy, & he told me he loved me for the first time. It was to date the greatest experience for me. However, not two months later he was messing around on online dating sites and hiding his cell phone from me..he figured out that I figured out what he was doing, and simply said that maybe we should cut our losses and just be friends. I don't want that, but it's obvious that I can't ask him to get back together..I'm not a total idiot. I know we need time, and we need to repair things, if it is supposed to happen, it will.

Now..for the last few semesters of school I have been helping him with some of his college courses, one class I basically do everything. Due to recent computer malfunctions and my own finals for the summer semester..I didn't get everything done on time. He was angry because he's not doing well in the class anyways and it's a big point of stress and contention for him. He says to me, "If you didn't want to do it, you should have said something." Of course I told him that is not the case and I apologized. Moments later he pipes up again, " AND another great thing is that I have to keep changing my passwords, then I can't remember them! .. How much longer is the lease on this place?!" I reply that our lease is up in March and he makes a heavy sound of disgust. This immediately hurts my feelings..and since then he really has not spoken to me. I said hello after he returned from a weekend away & he just raised his eyebrow at me.

In between him saying that he thought we should split and the homework incident, we were fine. He went on a week long trip and we didn't talk much, but he didn't appear to be unhappybto see me. We were communicative, spending time together. Of course I was slightly unhappy that I was now being classified as roommate and friend, I enjoy him immensely, and can't imagine life without him.

So readers, what's his deal? Did me failing to complete his homework really make him this angry? Is there something I should do or say? This distaste and cold-shoulder routine is very hurtful to me, I still very much love this man. I'm not expecting miracles, but I'm becomming quite scared that he hates me or something.

Any insights are appreciated, thank you so much for reading.

[dem862]

He sounds angry, jealous, abusive, demanding, manipulative, and unfaithful. Why in hell would you love someone like that? Can't you do any better than that? You sound like you may be clingy, have poor self-esteem issues, and a dependent personality.

[cheekxxs]

He was going through a divorce when we got together, ---Immediately I know a relationship without trust is doomed. ---Now..for the last few semesters of school I have been helping him with some of his college courses, one class I basically do everything.

Girl have you lost your mind? For real? There is so much for me to say you did in this story yours.
First of all , you knew a relationship without trust is doomed. But I WISH YOU KNEW A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MEN THAT IS GOING TRUE A DIVORCE HAS BEEN ALREADY DOOMED.!!!!!??

If you start a relationship just after the divorce its already a bad case. But you took it worse you took him while he was going true the divorce.
Oh my...... What are you doing with this old ass. He is using you for what ever reason and you are so desperate to hear somebody is loving you and
to be loved by him that you became even his slave.

I never heard of someone helping the other with homework by doing it for them.
Helping is while he sits beside you and you explain to him how to do it. or make it better.

And him being angry also cause you did not finish it???! What the hack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

You need to break this rubbish up and work on your self esteem!
Cause he is taking advantage of you, cause you have low self esteem.
No men tells me to make their home work. Who is the one that need to graduate?

I hope he dont tell you soon to wipe his ass also for him!

This guy have a to heavy baggage for your age.
He barely gone true a divorce and so did not have any chance to heal from it. So all the crap he will
bring it on you.
You are younger, put your energy and let his drama be his. let him take responsibility for his divorce and go true the healing process.
And you enjoy your life working on your self esteem and shop with friends.


And looking at this, he wasn't single when you got with him. So that's a big no no 2!
Not single!- going true a divorce(so that means he was STILL MARRIED!!!!)= doomed!

Every stress , anger, or things he need to heal from before he is qualified for dating again he is and will be putting on you!
And that's not fair. You need to break it up or keep taking the crap with your mouth shut.