What can I do to make myself more appealing to females

[jb12288]

I recently got out of a LTR in October of last year. I am ready to move on and have a rebound relationship. I seem to be having trouble attracting girls though. I dont consider myself ugly, but not extremely good looking either. I do tend to get nervous while flirting and talking to pretty girls though. I am working on my self confidence, but I also want to work on my appearance. Any tips or pointers to make myself more physically attractive and appealing?


this is how I looked about 6 months ago


this is me now

I havent put on any extra weight and have good personal hygiene. I just cant figure out what makes girls reject me.

Note to mods:
This is not a rate my picture post. I am asking a legitimate help me question.

[Gigabitch]

Lose the beard. Seriously. I, myself, love a guy with a beard but I know I am in the minority.

[jb12288]

I could try that.

[QueenofCorona]

I kind of agree with the beard, not my cup of tea but some girls dig it.

Smile more too. You aren't smiling in either of those pics.

Are you looking for something serious or just lots of ass?

[girl68]

facial hair no good.

or if you insist, clean it up. trim it neatly. it looks like you just got lazy and let it grow.

[jb12288]

Im not necessarily looking for a serious relationship, but if it happens; but I would like some ass I do tend to neglect trimming my beard though.

[phys251]

That first photo, taken outdoors....You an outdoors type of person? There are quite a few girls out there that would dig that.

And yes, the beard needs to go.

[lovesjoyajm]

I love beards.

But if you're going for a more mainstream look for broader appeal, I'd go with the longer hair and no beard. And it should go without saying, but no beard also implies no mustache, goatee, "soul patch", etc.

I think you're cute, though.

[tropigal82]

I don't think you should be shy about your appearance. You are good looking and have very nice, kind and soulful eyes. Personally, I think you should get rid of the beard as it looks like you are trying to hide behind it.

Ok so these are the things that I find attractive in a man:-

1) Smiling alot. - a man who smiles and laughs alot is very attractive. It shows that he has a zest for life and is enjoying the moment, even better if he can maintain eye contact whilst smiling or laughing - that's very sexy.

2) Self-assured attitude. - OK so being confident doesn't mean being arrogant. What I mean by 'self assured' is that you are comfortable in your own skin and have the attitude that "if people can't like me just the way I am then they can piss off" :-)

3) Being a Gentleman - Personally I love a guy with old fashioned manners and courtesy. You know, a guy who opens the door for you, respects your personal boundaries, is polite etc. I can't stand it if I am on a first or second date with a guy and he has his hands all over me as if I already 'belong to him'.

4) A beautiful mind - OK looks may play a (small) part in what attracts me to a guy, but really its his mind that is a real turn on. I've dated a male model who looks like Brad Pitt but he was so self-absorbed and superficial that I had to end it pretty pronto. Conversely, I dated a guy for 9 months who was short, bald and looked more like Danny DeVito than Brad Pitt, however he was such an interesting guy with so much wisdom and confidence and kindness that I easily could have married him! The only reason the relationship ended was because I had to leave that country due to visa issues. So I am much more attracted to a guy who can think deeply and broadly, who can ponder the mysteries of the universe and not be afraid to share his views about politics / religion / culture / philosophy / society etc etc. A man with no opinions and no views is quite a turn off!

5) Practicality - OK so this might sound a bit sexist but I like a guy to be able to be practical. I'm an old fashioned girl deep down I want my guy to be able to do things like know the parts of a car engine, know how to use a chainsaw or gut a fish, know how to pitch a tent, build a campfire, that sort of thing.... even if he doesn't know how to do these things, I want him to at least give the impression that he does know what he's doing! LOL

6) Fun Dates! - I like a guy who wants to do fun and original things with me other than just drinks / dinner: play snooker, cookery, painting, ice-skating, horse-riding, cycling, etc etc.

7) Kindness - most important of all I want a guy who is kind and considerate. If a guy tells me he volenteers at the local homeless shelter, or that one day he would like to adopt or foster children, or that he's running in a marathon for charity, that just melts my heart. :-)

8) Not needy - I once went on a date with a guy who turned out to be severly lacking in self-esteem and I got the impression he expected me to 'be the one who made him happy.' Ugh! I ran a mile!!! Thats way too much responsibility, as nobody can truly make you happy but you yourself! Happiness is a decision YOU make, and nobody else is responsible for YOUR happiness!!!

Good luck in your lovequest!

PS I think you would look hot in some indie boy clothes ;-)

[workaholic70]

I don't think you should be shy about your appearance. You are good looking and have very nice, kind and soulful eyes. Personally, I think you should get rid of the beard as it looks like you are trying to hide behind it.

Ok so these are the things that I find attractive in a man:-

2) Self-assured attitude. - OK so being confident doesn't mean being arrogant. What I mean by 'self assured' is that you are comfortable in your own skin and have the attitude that "if people can't like me just the way I am then they can piss off" :-)

8) Not needy - I once went on a date with a guy who turned out to be severly lacking in self-esteem and I got the impression he expected me to 'be the one who made him happy.' Ugh! I ran a mile!!! Thats way too much responsibility, as nobody can truly make you happy but you yourself! Happiness is a decision YOU make, and nobody else is responsible for YOUR happiness!!!

The above two stand out as very good advice.

Rgds

[jb12288]

I am an outdoors type person and a gentleman. Also, as you said I can do the typical man jobs like car repair etc. as I am a truck driver. I do tend to smile alot, just typically not in pictures.

So it is settled, I will shave the beard tomorrow before I go out. Thanks everyone for your help, I really appreciate it.

[Gribble]

Gasp! It's King Arthur!!