he has a female best friend...

[heartsick23]

My bf and I met 7 months ago. From the beginning, he spoke about his old roommate that moved out a couple months before we met as if she was the worst person. She moved in with him a year before and never paid bills. He tried to help her get jobs and she would make excuses why she never made the interviews. She also agreed to paint his house in exchange for not paying rent, which she never finished. They were not on speaking terms when we met. S couple months in, she starts to talk to him. The first few times, she's asking him for favors. I instantly get defensive and upset that he's talking to her at all. She's been the reason for most of our fights since. I thought it might get better when I met her. It was at his birthday party 3 months ago at his mom's. She, his mom and I were in the kitchen alone at one point. His mom said she never said 2 words to her before, but that night, she was being extra chummy. His mom even asked if I was okay that night ubecause she felt like the friend was trying to show me up. The friend didn't say more than two words to me that night.

All of his friends and family have said they don't like her and are waiting for her to go away. They thought I was the ticket. One of his other female friends, who I do get along with, has told me that when they lived together, he wanted to date this girl, but she kept putting it off because she wanted to get herself together. He has told me hr wouldn't date her because her life is a mess. She has had 2 jobs in the time I've known her. She has drug problems.

I gave him the her or me ultimatum yesterday. He has stopped talking to her before because of me. He said they started talking again because she is starting rehab and needs the support. I trier to play it cool. We fought at first when I found out they were talking again, but then he asked if it was ok to help her with something and I was okay with it.

Right now, I'm so miserable, I'm afraid I made the wrong choice. His friend I talk to says to just give him time and he'll get it. But I'm afraid giving him the ultimatum will be enough for him to choose her.

My question is whether or not the ultimatum was right. Should I stick to it or try to compromise something? I feel like his word isn't enough because anyone can sucker him into helping them, plus they are "best friends" according to him. I don't want him to resent me. But I feel like she's way too needy to he just s friend. Anyone have any ideas?

[oldskool83]

girls living with guys is just shady, id never date a girl who lived with a guy roomate in fack i dumped on after she said she wanted. friends my ass. find somone else or hmove in with him. idk if sum1 had a best friend of opposite sex but lets not live together. honestly id tell him to go date her. he will get it too late. sounds like a morron himself but you girls like the drama kind.

[cheekxs]

How oldare you guys?

And i think its your own fault that you are in that situation. cause you did not take time to get to know him. you got into a relationship immediately.

And right now you are getting to know him and his life.

So deal with it.
If you took time to know him first. at least a year or those 7 mounts, you could have know how things are between him and his roommate.
So you could have the time to choose to get into a relationship or stop getting to know him.

[smackie9]

This is what dating is all about...you have to kick a lot of tires to find the right one....this one has issues and the tires are flat. Time to dump this heap of an asshole to the curb. Stop being a wuss about dumping him.....you haven't invested enough of yourself to this relationship. There will be much better coming along soon.

[oldskool83]

1 thump up here!!!!!!!!!