Should I pursue my friend's brother?

[MsDestiny]

I feel silly admitting this, but I'm 30 something years old and I have a crush on a man that I don't even know. Can adults have crushes? (lol) He is the brother of an college buddy of mine. My old friend and I recently reunited and while having lunch at her home (after not having seen each for many years) I saw photos of her brother in her family album. Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about him; especially since I found out he is divorced. Anyway, when I inquired about my friend's brother and told my friend that I thought he was handsome, she laughed it off and quickly changed the subject. Luckily for me, I know people who actually know him, so I've been able to find out a lot about her brother without having to ask my friend. Everyone who knows him says he's a really great guy. But, they also say my friend is "very" over-protective of her brother. I personally find the latter strange since he IS a grown man. I mean seriously, what business it is of hers who likes her brother? For all I know, her brother may end up not even liking me (God, I hope not!) But, even so I still see nothing wrong with my wanting to meet him.

Anyway, from what I hear he has recently started a new life by way of obtaining custody of his children and purchasing a new home (good for him!) I'm guessing my friend's over-protectiveness may derive from that; the fact that her brother is starting over and has perhaps been hurt in the past. Maybe she feels a woman would disrupt his new life. Whatever the reason, I would still like to meet him. And I've actually come up with a plan on how to do so, only I feel guilty. Guilty because I think my old buddy might become upset if she found out I've been inquiring about her brother behind her back and that after meeting him, I may want to pursue him. I really don't want to lose her friendship and it's not because of her brother. I honestly think she's a great person. So, here's my question: Should I attempt to meet/pursue my friend's brother despite her being overly protective of him? Or simply let go of my crush and move on?

[Wakeup]

You sound like a stalker. If he were my brother I'd be concerned as well.

Actually, I don't think you'll listen to anyone who says you should leave this man alone so why don't you just do what you're gonna do.

I mean seriously, what business it is of hers who likes her brother?

It's quite natural to protect one's sibling from someone who we feel wouldn't be good for them. Just like we try to tell our friends when we think their boyfriends are'nt good for them. I'm sure you've done that a time or two in your 15 or so years of dating experience.

Tell us how you'd go about imposing yourself into his company?

[MsDestiny]

Stalker? Nothing wrong with inquiring about a single man. A man by the way who is 42 years old.... lol I think my friend needs to get a grip and you as well. Quick frankly WakeUp, you're not only rude, but also a bitter bitch. Get over yourself!

[misombra]

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to meet him. You might hit it off. Can a friend set you up?

As for the sister I don't see how its her business. He's a grown man sounds like he's perfectly capable of making his own decisions.

[Saya]

Why don't you get to know him through by your friend, if you don't want to ruin your friendship with her.
You shouldn't be hiding things behind her back and if she finds out, she may be upset so I think that you should come clean and be honest with her and she may understand you?
I'm actually was in a similar situation as you... my bf is my child-hood friend's brother...I was really close to her when I was little and re-united after we graduate high-school. I didn't tell her anything while we were dating, but when we became serious, we decided to tell her and she was a bit weird at the start, but it's all good now.

[Wakeup]

Well, it's getting more clear why this friend wouldn't want you around her brother O_o. You come here to get only the answers you want to hear. Me, I see things differently than that and I'm not going to tell you what you obviously want to hear (which is "its none of your friends business") if I see things differently.

You want to persue a man from a photo. You know nothing about him except what your "investigation" unearthed, you mention (when it has absolutely nothing to do with the story) that he owns his own home (suspect). You sound desperate for a man IMO.

As I said, you'll do what you want to because you're only out for yoursef I don't suspect you care too much what your crushes sister will think.

I think my friend needs to get a grip

That right there is very telling.