Is telling me he needs a break his way of ending the relationship

[Raisintoast]

I have been seeing a guy on and off for about 5 months. I say on and off because it was very ad hoc. He would go through periods of ringing me every day and then I wouldn't hear from him for a couple of days or so. When we met neither of us were after anything, just casual NSA. However, we both felt a strong connection and our feelings got in the way. Both of us have been married for about 16 years and both got divorced within a week of each other this year. He however is in the process of doing his financial settlement and his ex seems to be a bit of a dragon about it all. End May he told me he could no longer continue (via email) as he needed to sort himself out with everything that is going on. He said he couldn't do a relationship at this stage. Three weeks earlier he had told me he wanted more with me in the future. I was really upset and let him know who I was feeling. He then told me he needed a break for a couple of months while he sorted himself out and he was seeking help. He is scared of falling in love again and told me he was falling for me deeper by the day. In fact he said he had fallen for me. I have done the same with me. That same week he came to see me and then contacted me everyday for a whole week. He told me he planned to be back when he sorted himself out. We had a lovely week. He had dinner with me. No sex. Then the week came to an abrupt halt over a party where he got jealous of another guy and was not happy with the way he was flirting with me. He now tells me that there is so much going on with his ex wife and dealing with the settlement and work that he needs to take some time to clear his head and work out what he really wants and if seeing me is the right thing to do. I have told him I am not after a serious commitment. More of what we had but with more communication. We got on so well. He rang me two weeks ago to see how I was. I told him it was so hard for me emotionally not knowing what was going on. He said he would come and see me in the next week or two. That was two weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since. He sent me an email right after that conversation to say that he can't explain over the phone what he is going through and that he would tell me face to face.
Do I contact him, wait for him to contact me or just walk away and move on? I love him and I miss him. I know he is dealing with a lot but there is no guarantee he will be back. What should I do and has anyone been in a similar situation?

[oldskool83]

yes.......relationship over.

[Cerby]

Tough situation, but I think you should back off. I don't think he ended it because he doesn't have feelings, I think he simply has too many other things on his mind right now. A messy divorce can take a lot out of someone, and probably doesn't make it easy to form new emotional bonds.

Take this time for you as well, believe it or not, you probably need this "break" as much as he does.

[Hamburglar0]

Tough situation, but I think you should back off. I don't think he ended it because he doesn't have feelings, I think he simply has too many other things on his mind right now. A messy divorce can take a lot out of someone, and probably doesn't make it easy to form new emotional bonds.

Take this time for you as well, believe it or not, you probably need this "break" as much as he does.

This is exactly what I was going to write. Agreed 100%... time to back off a bit and take some time to reflect / give space.

[Raisintoast]

Thanks for your opinions. I still haven't heard from him. I am trying to do things for me and trying so hard not to think about him. Easier said than done. Hopefully when he has sorted himself out he will be back but I am treating it as though he has gone. Will keep you posted.