Online Dating Advice: The Big problem
When you respond to an ad, posted by a lady, you have to know that you are not the only one. It’s more likely that you r the 35-th person that is writing to her… I’d like to make a suggestion. Right here, right now, log on to the web and register yourself at match.com section as a lady (about 23 y/o, nice and slim).
Be sure that you use an e-mail that is not valuable for you - getting a new free one for the purpose is a good idea.
This is going to be a small experiment. After a couple of days you’ll find out two things:
• it’s cool to be a lady in the NET
• the approximate number of people you are competing with.
Something more important - you’ll get the idea about what are the other guys writing about. This is valuable information.
Don’t hesitate and be desperate if you get 40 emails the first day from all sorts of guys willing to go on a date with you.
I’ll tell you how to make women think you differ from them.
Online Dating Tip 1
The usual mistake
Well, let’s suppose u did the experiment that I suggested. I bet you’ll find a couple dozens of variations of the following:
“Hi! My name is Bob. I’m 2x/3x/4x… y/o. I live in PutTheName City. I’m (body measures&eye-hair colour follows). I work at a ImagineSomeBusiness Company. I like doing (this varies a lot). We might give it a try if u r interested Bob”
This sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?
Bob is wasting his time.
Of course - he has his own chances.
If his job or hobby matches the lady’s ones, he’ll probably get an answer. If also the lady is posting an ad for the first time, and Bob is the first one to answer, again he’ll probably get a reply.
Pay attention to the word “first”. 1 is the loneliest number…
Where is he mistaking….
Bob might be a cool guy, but he shows nothing of it.
What he does is a simple announcing of facts. His personality remains covered. As I said, he could be a good psychologist, witty, emotional and educated - whole bunch of features that women consider valuable.
But if all this remains hidden behind these plain body/work/hobby facts, it’s quite easy for a lady to decide that nothing of it exists… With other words - Bob is wasting his valuable online time. As I said, only the fact-match remains something that can hook a lady.
This is something very thin to rely on…
Online Dating Tip 2
So, what to do?
The answer is simple - you have to put some personality in your e-mail.
Once you do this, you can be sure that you can leave an impression. If you manage to do this, your work is done.
Remember the features I was talking aboutpsychologist, witty, emotional and educated. You have to convince the lady that you can think, have sense of humour and you haven’t missed the classes at school.
Make her laugh, make her think; don’t disturb her with spelling mistakes and your chances to get a reply increase dramatically. It doesn’t matter if the lady is educated or not - she wants you to be such. Let me say a few words about each one of these features…
Be a psychologist!
Online Dating Tip 3
When you e-mail a lady you have to show yourself as a psychologist.
Well, how are you supposed to do this? Simple - you have to make a small prediction that comes out to be true.
First you have to read the lady’s ad and gather all the valuable information.
Try to understand what is the proper motivation for her to post an ad. It might be stated directly - than it is useless for you to mention it.
If she does not say it clear, then go for it - she’ll be pleased to hear that someone understands her. One thing that you can always use is the fact that quite a lot of people write something similar to the ad that I showed you above.
You can predict that the lady is probably already tired of ads, telling about heights, weight and eyecolour. Say that you won’t bother her with useless facts. Promise to send her a picture instead in some of your following letters.
Of course - do it if she replies. If you manage to make such a “working” prediction, this will convince the lady that the space between your ears is not filled with air. You know, even if you are not quite right, she might reply to tell where you are wrong. This is also a base for conversation. Use it. Be witty!
Showing some sense of humour - well, something that is difficult to achieve sometimes. What I can say is JOKE WITH YOURSELF, NOT WITH HER! REMEMBER THAT! Don’t use any of the info that she gives as a material for jokes!
It might work, but it’s more likely that you back the lady off. Try to get her point of view - she’ll say “Who the hell is he to speak like that?!” Don’t risk! In the same time, you can always make laugh from the way you look. Use phrases like “It could be damn worse” or “I don’t cover the mirrors with sheets at my place” when talking about your appearance.
It’s a basic thing to show that you like yourself. If you don’t, well… this is a little bit far from the topic of this article, but do an effort not to show it (and constantly work to change this).
It’s a basic statement that you have first to like and love the person that you see in the mirror in order the others to like and love you. Back to humour - keep the lines that are supposed to make her laugh unexpected and short.
Online Dating Tip 4
Telling long stories with funny end is not a quite good idea - the end might not be that funny and the whole reading might be in vain. Coming up with a witty line at the moment of writing an e-mail is not always possible.
It’s a good idea always to keep your ears opened for funny things, quotes, etc. Write them down the moment you hear them, or when they come to your mind.