Red flag?

[Lillypond]

Hi There,

I can't help being irritated with my boyfriend. Lately he got a new car in which he found a scratch on it the morning after he drove to see me. He blatantly accused my 14 year old brother of scratching it when there are so many other possibilities. He said he saw my brother riding his bike and that he saw a bike inside the garage so he thought my brother scratched his car while he brought the bike out of the garage. My brother didn't ride the bike inside the garage because that bike is a broken one. He got his riding bike from the backyard. I told my boyfriend this and he accepted the explanation. But I can't get over the fact that he so blatantly accused my brother of doing such a thing (my brother would never do such a thing, I know him well) when there are so many other possibilities that might caused the scratch. He could have scratched it while driving home or somebody could have made that scratch while he parked his car when he went for a washroom break during the drive home (in which he admitted he has done after I told him my brother couldn't have made that scratch). My brother likes him and has always come to his defence so I am upset at my boyfriend for making such a careless accusation. I certainly would be very careful about making any accusations towards my boyfriend's family members so it shocks me he would be so disrespecful towards mine. Also, I also think this is a sign he is excessively protective about his possessions. It makes me wonder if this is a sign of selfishness and if he would care more about his material possessions than his relationship with people.

What are your insights on his character because that is what I really care to know.

[surfhb]

I dont see the big deal. Your brother could have done it by accident but you explained to him how the truth of the matter and he accepted that. You move on....all a part of being in a relationship

Cars are a big deal to many people since its an essential and expensive possession

[Lillypond]

I understand cars are expensive but you wouldn't hesitate in accusing your girlfriend's family of doing such a thing especially when you are not 100 percent sure? Also, my brother has never done anything to damage his things before. It seems to me he doesn't care about what my family thinks of him which is certainly not a good thing.

[Boisdevie]

The guy sounds like a dickhead. Accusing somebody of something with no proof is a dim thing to do.

[VincenzoG91]

He sounds like maybe he cares more about his car than his relationship with you. If he can afford a new car, he can afford to deal with a scratch in the paint. You might not want to dump him over this incident, but possibly consider it his first strike. Three strikes and he's out.

[surfhb]

Well was he a jerk about it? Or did he just assume? I think it all depends on how he handled the assumption.....obviously he knew it would be an accident and was nice about it. Or was he pissed? That's your red flag. Heck I'd assume the same thing if my GF had a liitle brother and a bike.