Obsessive love disorder

[abbey3]

Since my break up with my ex I have been doing a lot of thinking about my most recent relationship.

I have looked online at obsessive love disorder and I swear I have it! All the things it mentions fear of abandonment, becoming clingy, obsessive, upset if I didn't hear from him, convincing myself he didn't love me or want to be with me. I did all of them in the relationship.

I have always been a worrier and had low self esteem but my past relationship actually sent me crazy. Once I hadn't heard from him so I left work and drove to his house to check I'f he was there!! I mean that's not normal surley.

I know it wasnt all me, he was very independent, chilled out, not very good with emotions which caused me to be so crazy, but I did have a relationship before him and was never like this. My previous boyfriend was very soft, loving and made me feel secure however.

I'm just worried as mental ilness does run in my family and now I'm scared maybe I am too?
Or was this just a bad relationship and we were incompatable.

I know my ex wasn't perfect but honestly I look back and I was obsessed with the relationship and him
Even now if I'm honest I don't actually miss HIM that much, just kinda what we had and the idea of what he could have been. I just feel like I might be a bit crazy??

[madotnw_nihs]

My wife has this so called disorder. She has those fears and displays clinginess. Before we even dated, she layed behavior out due to a broken family and other issues growing up. I knew that it won't be easy being together since I am quite independent. If she can't get a hold of me within an hour, she sometimes goes insane and start conjuring thoughts. I believe myself to be relatively understanding and these types of actions doesn't really bother. However if stress does mount from work, it tends to be annoying. Depending on your age, I would be up-front about this with your next relationship. I do think it is something that can be worked on. My wife has gotten better with time, so just try to be a bit more independent cause guys also see that as a plus.

[HeartIsAching]

I wouldn't be so quick to make that assumption. See a therapist, if you can.

[bearz]

No, you're not crazy. Did you look up the possible causes of obsessive love disorder? Can you relate to some of them?

Or maybe it was just a lack of trust or something else on your end? Maybe something was just missing from that relationship?

[Woods]

Showing traits of a disorder doesn't make you crazy. The way you formed an attachment to this guy wasn't healthy but it's probably more common than you think. 'Obsessive love disorder' doesn't exist as an actual diagnosis, that I'm aware of, anyway, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from some sort of therapy. I don't know your history but if this has only happened in one relationship then maybe you just need to work on yourself so that when you are in a future relationship you have a sense of independence and self worth. Otherwise, you're going to annoy the hell out of anyone you form a relationship with and cause yourself unnecessary stress.

[michelle23]

I think you were just insecure coz of things that happened, an overall lack of trust and incompatability. You developed a fearof losing him which lead to anxiety which lead to clinginess. Dont dwell on it. Just make sure the next one makes you feel secure and you trust him from the beginning and youll be fine.
If ur self esteem is very low-seek counselling.

Problems at the beginning always leads to issues so next time if there are problems-walk away before you get too attached

[abbey3]

No, you're not crazy. Did you look up the possible causes of obsessive love disorder? Can you relate to some of them?

Or maybe it was just a lack of trust or something else on your end? Maybe something was just missing from that relationship?

Yes a lot says problems with childhood,father leaving etc.

I didn't have a bad childhood but when I look back I always had anxiety problem-I couldn't sleep on my own untill I was about 9 I had a really bad phobia of being sick which caused me to have to go to a therapist. I worried about everything even as a child

This is really embarrassing but I even used to make up situations so people felt sorry for me or gave me attention.now I have grown out of this but I still in my relationship used to play the victim and liked me boyfriend to almost feel sorry for me.

Now no I didn't trust my boyfeiend which I think has escalated all of this into a mess. I know the relationship was unhealthy and I couldn't forgive him for his actions in the Beggining.

But I'm worried I'm going to have this problem over and over again because when I look back I have always been a bit like this. Because of the mental disorder my sister has I'm scared I will end up like that too

[michelle23]

This is just your anxiety talking again abbey and causing irrational thoughts and fear of the future. Go and get more counselling. You need it. You will be fine.

[Wakeup]

I have always been a worrier and had low self esteem

Start working on what you've always been. Time to change it up through accomplishes made, goals met, taking courses, reading books on building confidence etc. If you can't learn to appreciate yourself and be confident in your own worth, then this sort of thing will keep happening to you. If you can't improve your self-esteem on your own, then seriously consider some councelling. It's never wrong in the head to get yourself right in the head.

But I'm worried I'm going to have this problem over and over again

If you do nothing about what currently ais you then you can Guarantee to yourself that it will keep happening over and over again.