Please help! I think my girlfriend has fallen out of love with me!

[uncleramsay]

Hi,

I have been with my girlfriend for over three years.
I am completely in love with her, but lately something has been up.
She has never really been a fan of affection (her background is such that she has never known or understood it). However, I am an extremely affectionate person, and up til now she has been reasonably affectionate with me.

But over the past few months it has gotten less and less, and now we don't even kiss or hug any more.

Of course the first thing I tried was to talk to her about it. She says she doesn't like affection, and she's not going to do it. I tried to get her to compromise but I'm afraid that she won't.
This is REALLY getting me down - I am seriously considering breaking up with her - I just cannot be in a relationship where the other half doesn't show her love to you in any way.

I am really starting to get scared, because I DON'T want to break up with her, but right now it is seeming more and more like the right thing to do.

I just don't understand, because we have been really good for a while - she was really affectionate, and we were really happy. Now I don't know what's changed.

I'm afraid that she has fallen out of love with me, and doesn't want to dump me herself s ois waiting for me to do it.

I'm sorry this is such a long post, but as you can probably tell I'm at the end of my tether, and I just wanted to get it all out (the person I normally talk to is her!)

Thanks for any help....

[Mathias]

Yep, it happens.

Sorry, dude.

[Gigabitch]

That's horrible, and it must be breaking your heart.

The fact that she's not showing affection doesn't necessarily mean that she's fallen out of love with you, but it does indicate that there's a serious disconnect between her heart and her boyfriend. That "I'm not going to do it" comment has got me thinking she's more than just a little reserved. She's cold.

What is she like emotionally, though? No, she doesn't want to hold you, but does she even want to look into your eyes and see you looking back at her? Can she communicate love better than she shows it? She sounds like she might be turning into a black hole.

It sounds like you've been pretty willing to compromise, but you're starting to see what the future will be like with her, and it's pretty lonely. Citing her past as an explanation for why she's uncomfortable with affection is valid in my opinion, but it is no reason for her to remain this way. That, she's doing by choice.

Ouch. I feel for you.

[King Zarathu]

You guys just don't click, and you want what you cannot (cannot, and I mean that) have. Break up with her before you get hurt any more than you already are.

Sorry man, shit happens.

[Zach]

My girlfiend fell out of love with me too... it has been the most painful thing I have ever been through. You ARE not alone. Realize you must move on and find someone who will love you how you DESERVE to be loved. I really feel for you.. /hug