first contact with ex in 2 months

[ufas1987]

Had a pretty big shock to me yesterday on my way back from vacation. Before we broke up, ex and I had tickets to go back to my home town. As things went on she got stressed from family problems and her recent divorce so she broke up with me. I tried getting back with her but she finally said we couldnt keep in contact. Well I still really want her back but Ive made it a point to not let it hurt me and try to move on. 2 months went by and we have seen or talked to eachother. So Im on my way back from vacation. Get my connecting flight and sit down. All of a sudden I hear hi and my name. There she was standing right in front of me. Im sure she could tell I was suprised but I didnt wanna show it. She sat next to me and things were alright. She was the one that brought up the relationship and told me she really misses me and it was killing her to not talk to me. I just said i felt the same way too but didnt make it a big thing.....didnt wanna look desperate. We talked the whole time about things going on in our lives. Come to find out she used her ticket to go see family. Well our flight landed. I went down to get by bag and she went to the bathroom. Never got to see her or say goodbye to her after that. I texted her( i know texted isnt a good thing) and said im sorry i didnt get a chance to say goodbye and that it was nice to see her. She wrote back and said it was good to see me to and to take care. Figured that would be the last time we talk. Well this morning i got a random txt from her asking how my dog was. I waited an hour to txt her back so she didnt thing i was hanging on my phone. didnt say anything to long just that she was fine....ex hasnt txted me back. I dont know what to think now. I was slowly starting not to think about her as much. Its not like i dont want her back....i really do. I just dont want to feel like how i use to feel when we broke up. Is she reaching out to me? I dont want to get false hopes. How should i go about this?

[Wakeup]

You missed a perfect opportunity to say: "The dog is fine, do you want to meet up for a drink to talk about how much fun having her has been?" Her answer to that (or lack thereof) would have let you know everything you think we could (but no way can) tell you about her intentions.

[ufas1987]

ya well I dont want to be a dick. She has never done wrong to me and I just cant say that. Just like she told me...it just wasnt the right time for us. Im still not going to mess it up by pleading with her to take me back again and look weak. Ive learned thats just stupid. I figure Ill just let it go and go about my day to day like I have been doing the past 2 months. If she wants to get ahold of me she will but Im not gonna let it get to me. I know shes feels the same way now. If she didnt want to see me at all she would of changed her returning flight. And her telling me how she felt really suprised me. Shes very independent and never talks about her feelings. But there are the false hopes on the back of my mind as well, and I really dont know what to do with them. I just have a feeling shes not doing it to mess with me....its just not her. Shes a very mature girl but life has treated her badly and its made her very strong...too strong. Thats what attracted me to her and Im the total opposite. I never expected her to be on that plane and I never believed she would be telling me how she felt. Everyone tells me time will tell and Im starting to believe it. If its ment to be things will work out.

[Wakeup]

No one said anything about "pleading" with her to take you back. You should have asked her out and if she said no then you'd know where you stand for sure without guessing or hoping or wondering. If she had said yes, then you could have taken things slow with her and sussed out if she was open to dating or to see if both of you have grown up enough to make things work with one another.

Now.. because you didn't ask her for a simple meet for a drink you resort to coming to a board full of stangers to ask what might be on her mind when we, not knowing her, couldn't possible tell you anything of substance about what she's thinking.

Simple as that.

Asking someone out for a drink doesn't make you a "dick." Not asking someone out when you want to is being non-confident and afraid of rejection.

*My advice: Make a solid move or go complete non-contact... no texting or emailing. You, of course will do what you're most comfortable with.

Good luck.

[ufas1987]

the way you worded it would make me sound like a dick. and I really dont think shes ready yet. I dont wanna push her. If I just ask her out for lunch or something shell know what im trying to do....I cant hide it. I figure if shes ready to try again she will. Im not giving my hopes up tho. And this forum is for asking advice right...what else is it here for? I do want to make a solid move and I can but honestly i dont think shes ready yet. Im just gonna keep doin what I do. If she talks then Ill be civil with her. She ended up txtin me back again. I was short. i honestly dont know what to do. I just dont want to start pushing her again.

I know theres a hand full of people on here that have the brutally honest opinions and theres nothing wrong with that. Its good for someone that wants to get over someone...and trust me I was on that road. But after all this I think theres genuine love in her still from the things she told me. If she didnt feel it she wouldnt of been on that plane.

[JennaBella]

Sounds to me that she's tentatively testing the water with you. Ask her out for a coffee, mask it as a catch up and keep it lighthearted. Go for it, before it's too late and she meets a new guy. She may think you're not that bothered anymore x

[ufas1987]

this wont push her away anymore than I have will it? I may me thinking to far into it but there has to be a reason why she didnt change her returning flight and a reason why she txted me the next morning. It wasnt an important txt at all.

[Wakeup]

If she wants to be with you it won't push her away. If you're reading too much into it and she was just being friendly then she'll let you know that.

Stop being afraid. You cannot push someone away by simply and confidently asking them out for a drink or coffee... if they actually want to be with you that won't make them run in the least.

Your problem is you are afraid of the answer and you'd rather be not sure than totally sure. That way you can keep the fantasy going.

[ufas1987]

doesnt matter anymore. I called and she never called me back. Thats just rude. If she doesnt wanna be friendly then f her! Im done with her. if she ever calls me shes getting the same in return. These mind games are ridiculous! If she doesnt mean it then why say it. hope shes happy...now i really dont wanna be with her. Im glad i called, now I know whats really going on.

[ufas1987]

I have a question about this tho? Could it be possible shes trying to fight her feelings for me? Like saying all that stuff to me then she thought about it, got scared and put the wall back up again? Im just really not understanding this. I cant tell if this is a game to her to keep me around or if she really dosent know what she wants(she is not a girl that would play games in my opinion). From what she has told me while she was together she is really only use to guys hurting her. Im wondering if shes just not use to being treated good and a year was too early to commit to a new relationship after her divorce. I understand a divorce is a big set back in someones life and it really messes with someones emotions but why run away from something good. Its like girls say they want all these nice things in a relationship and when they get it they run off.

and yes i know you guy or i and pin point her intentions. Im just asking to see if anyone has a opinion in it.

[blmg911]

I think she still cares to be honest otherwise she wouldn't of said hello and she wouldn't of bothered texting you out the blue she obv wanted to make convo with you so that shows there is still a a spark there take a look at these ebook by realationship experts on what you need to do next i'm currently reading a good one that i found on eBay called Ex2 Systems and its really helping me understand where i'm going wrong and what i need to do next.