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Thread: Buying her a cell?

  1. #1
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    Buying her a cell?

    I have a girlfriend who I haven't been dating very long, a few weeks. For various reasons she doesn't own a cellphone. Since it's really difficult to get in touch with her I've been debating buying her a cell phone. She hasn't asked me to do it, nor even hinted at it, I'm just doing it because it is ridiculously difficult to contact her. I'm a bit worried that might make me seem to eager to please her, or might make me the pushover boyfriend who will give her anything she wants. What are your thoughts on this?

    If you have any comments go ahead and skip the next part, I'm just going to detail the costs of such endeavors.

    Before I go on, a quick note, I don't live in the US (or Canada) so if you guys recommending a specific carrier won't be of much help.

    In any case, I plan on buying her a prepaid cell phone. That way she can just buy her own when she has the money, This is very much practical. There is a minimum charge of $15 a month, which I will pay. It comes with unlimited texting (email actually. We use we use email instead of sms over here). My contract allows me to call anyone from the same provider for free. The prepaid phone is on the same network as mine, so it will be free to call her, and receiving calls is free so we can talk all we want. This will work really well, since the phone's primary purpose will be to keep in touch with me. If she wants to talk to other people, she can, but I only plan on paying the minimum.

    Does doing this make me seem too willing to please? What are our other thoughts? Thanks for your advice.

  2. #2
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    Has she even expressed interest at all? I think a cell phone would be something better talked over rather than spontaneously bought. Would you seem like a push-over? Huh, I dunno... You could clear the confusion by simply telling her ahead of time.

  3. #3
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    I would definitely ask her before buying her a phone. The phone itself wouldn't make you seem (too) eager to please, but the fact you want to pay $15 a month, does.

    If she wants to talk to YOU should should really get her own phone.

  4. #4
    Illusional's Avatar
    Illusional is offline different state of mind
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    haha she doesn't have a cell because she doesn't want to be on lock down.. any player knows this.

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Do not buy her a cell phone if she has not hinted that it might be a good idea! Buying her a cell phone just so you can better get a hold of her sounds very controlling. She doesn't have a cell phone for her own reasons. I highly doubt that you appearing in her life has changed those reasons. She may be offended. She may see you as a pushover. Although, I think the correct adjective would be desperate. Maybe just maybe she will like it and be grateful. It doesn't seem worth it.

    I'm afraid Illusional may have it right. If she wants to get in touch with you, then she will find more ways to get in touch with you.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirbenderAang View Post
    Do not buy her a cell phone if she has not hinted that it might be a good idea! Buying her a cell phone just so you can better get a hold of her sounds very controlling. She doesn't have a cell phone for her own reasons. I highly doubt that you appearing in her life has changed those reasons. She may be offended. She may see you as a pushover. Although, I think the correct adjective would be desperate. Maybe just maybe she will like it and be grateful. It doesn't seem worth it.

    I'm afraid Illusional may have it right. If she wants to get in touch with you, then she will find more ways to get in touch with you.


    I agree with Air. If she really want to contact you or talk to you, he will get a cell.. And btw are you sure that she don't have any cellphone? Don't push it too much,you gonna look like desperate on her.
    "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

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    OK, do you want her to run screaming from you? No? Then don't buy her a ****ing phone.

    Seriously.

    Her accepting it basically implies commitment that she may or may not feel yet. Trust me on this one.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

  8. #8
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    Here's another vote for no cell phone. I consider them an electronic leash, and would be offended if some guy I were dating for such a short time felt I should be at his beck and call. Just ask her when she will be home so you can call her.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  9. #9
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    too eager to please? more like too eager to control...
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~ Marilyn Monroe

  10. #10
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    Here's how I see it.

    If she can afford a phone like that, she should just get it herself.

    Some people who can afford a phone, but don't have one, simply don't feel the need to have one. Some don't like to be interrupted at any hour of the day, or night, by even a text message.

    Scenario: you're paying the monthly 15 a month, and she doesn't pick up her phone, or reply to your texts all that frequently because, well, she just doesn't care to. How is that going to make you feel? You're paying for her phone, and she won't even use it? If I were you, I'd feel a little resentment.

    I don't think it would hurt to pitch the idea of her getting herself a phone, but keep in mind she just may not be keen on it.

  11. #11
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    True he may feel resentment if she doesn't use it as often as he expected. However, as a female I would be worried about the reasons my new (few weeks old) bf wants to do this for me. You are doing this because you want to keep her in contact correct? Spooky to me.

    I am practically on call for school aka work. It's not fun when you miss that call and respond hours or days later. I don't want a relationship like that!
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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