Tips?

[MrMalcolm]

Hey guys, so, my girlfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago and we've been talking on and off ever since, but it's been bugging both of us, so finally I manned up, called her up, and told her that we shouldn't talk anymore if either of us is going to get over one another, it was really confusing and strange right up till the very end because she kept saying things like "I still really love you, and I'm still in love with you" so then I'd say something like "Okay, so what exactly are you planning on?" and she'd respond that she wasn't going to date anyone else, that she didn't want to be with anyone else, that she just didn't know what she wanted but she knew she didn't want to be with me. Then today I finally called her up and told her we shouldn't talk if we were going to move on, and she barely said a word, and when she did she was crying, I was expecting her to be okay with it... and now I just feel horrible... whenever I accidentally hurt her it kills me, and now she's more hurt than ever, I just feel so guilty and sad, and tips on feeling a little better? =(

[clever_name]

Nothing you can do. She broke up with you and has said she knows she doesn't want to be with you. From personal experience you are doing the right thing. I'm in the same situation, was broken up with 2 months ago and for the first couple of weeks it killed me, I kept up talking to her and would see her every now and then and it killed me every time. Our winter break came and I started to feel a lot better, not being around her, not calling her, etc. Then the new semester started and I tried the friends thing and all the work I had done, all the good feelings and positive feelings I had, everything was destroyed in the short time I saw her. I kept up thinking it will get easier everytime, would wait for her after our class, would talk to her online, etc and I felt worse and worse.

I decided the best thing for me to do would be to just cut off communication, stop trying to talk to her. If I happen to run into her on campus, or she ends up coming when our friends are hanging out then I'll talk to her but the only way to get over her is to just stop talking, hanging out, etc.

Eventually, you might be able to be friends again, but right now is the time to focus on you. Re-connect with your friends, family, workout, do whatever you want.

As far as feeling guilty goes, you shouldn't. She's the one that wanted this, you don't owe her anything.

[MrMalcolm]

You're right, thanks man, hate hurting people, but she did bring it on herself.

[Mish]

You did the right thing. This will help both of you to move on.