She hasn't cut the cord

[feelslikeido]

..i've been with her for 5 months and she hasn't cut the cord with her ex... they were friends initially who then dated for 2 solid years. they ended it 2 years ago.

i) should a girl stay in touch with her ex?
ii) does this change if she was friends with him before they were a couple?
iii) she says she keeps in touch with him because they are really good friends, despite her breaking his heart and her being sure nothing will ever happen between them again. should I be concerned?

When I found out they talk on a weekly basis I was surprised, but thought "that's what friends do". But he's also an ex... put it this way it places doubt in my mind as to how serious she is about me..

[Raven_Skye]

Come on.. it's been two years for her and her ex, if there's any risk of her getting back together with him it would have happened by now. For me, friends with your ex doesn't really work, but I know lots of people where it does. And if you are concerned, and don't trust her, you shouldn't be in a relationship with her. Just try to tell her why and how much you are worried, and that's all you can do. Trust her.

[devonbrown]

Do you feel she's serious about you? A relationship is based on trust - you have to learn to trust her that she's not doing anything with her ex other than having friendly conversations. Raven is right.. if it's been 2 years and they're still not together then perhaps nothing is going on.

[MissSassy]

I tried being friends with my ex once and all it takes is a drink here and there and you can easily end up back in bed together. It's familiar and you've done it before so the leap into the bed isn't quite as much of a big deal and in a way doesn't seem as wrong because it used to be a normal part of your relationship. I couldn't live with myself and came clean. However, much you might think you're just friends it's dangerous. Of course you can't say you don't trust them because that's just as bad. You're probably in a loose loose situation. Sorry.

[IncognitoSir]

I tried being friends with my ex once and all it takes is a drink here and there and you can easily end up back in bed together. It's familiar and you've done it before so the leap into the bed isn't quite as much of a big deal and in a way doesn't seem as wrong because it used to be a normal part of your relationship. I couldn't live with myself and came clean. However, much you might think you're just friends it's dangerous. Of course you can't say you don't trust them because that's just as bad. You're probably in a loose loose situation. Sorry.

I agree with this thought. You're already uncomfortable about it and it's only going to get worst. To be honest, friends or not......I can't see room in a relationship for you AND the EX. It kinda takes away from you ya know. He had his shot, it didnt work, so why should he still be around??? All I hear is excuses about keeping in contact with a ex.......excuses!

[Boisdevie]

Seems a bit wierd to me. The only ex I ever kept in touch with was my ex wife on account of the kids. My partner of 8 years I've seen twice since our breakup in February and we never talk on the phone. Sounds like she's still not cut the cord.