Hi everyone,

Its been awhile. I actually thought I was going to get through this breakup without the help of this forum, but here I am really struggling. Seems like every few years I am here with yet another failed relationship. But I must saw the support and advice on this page is outstanding. Okay, so my main question out of this whole ordeal is how does a guy break it off and then go completely cold after 2 years? I have not heard one single word from this man and I am really hurting and think about him constantly. I feel like the only explanation is he has found someone else. I have heard from every ex I have every had. To not even ask me how I am or come get his stuff just seems so horribly mean... Ok let me try to give you the snapshot version.

Met my ex about 2 years ago. It was supposed to be a "rebound" from my last ex as he was the first guy I dated after our split once I took a 4 month break to myself. Anyhow..chemistry was instantaneous. I am 33 and I have had several long term relationships and I have never felt so comfortable and in sync with anyone. I also have never had so much fun. No matter what we were doing. He fell really hard for me and I like an asshole held my wall up. During our time together he told me he loved me twice and when I didnt say it back he stopped saying saying. I was so scared of being hurt that I couldnt give it everything. And in the end that is exactly what happened. He has a daughter, I have never dated anyone with a kid. Somewhere along the line I got it engraved in my head that it could never work out for marriage because he had a child and an ending is inevitable. I know alot of this breakup was me and my issues but he was not perfect either.

OK lets fast forward to the beginning of the end. 2 wonderful years together, I loved him yet could never say it. Infact I loved him more then any man I have ever loved in my life. Our first year together was the best year of my life. Back in April I noticed is when the pulling away started. We still talked and texted every day but sometimes 2 weeks would go by without us seeing eachother. I would be hurt that he was too busy to see me, and then I would take it out on him and then he would resent me and the pattern continued. I was in a very very dark spot the last 8 months of so of my life because of a lot of factors I wont get into. First time I have ever had true depression. I gained weight, I was negative all the time, broke, stressed, and worried about my job. I just wasnt very much fun. I even remember telling my roommate I cant believe he is still dating me I have nothing to offer. It was bad.

Fast forward to July, I was using his laptop and the last visited sight was a dating sight. I did not go crazy like many would think. I actually reacted very calm and asked if he had been looking elsewhere and I wasnt making him happy. Of course he denied and denied but this one question was enough for him to say he needed a break. I mean obviously someone was on that sight. The thing is if he had just admitted it he might have liked my answer. We took 3 weeks apart, and during that time I did a ton of soul searching. I realized I dont blame him for straying if he did. Infact Id expect it. I had shot him down when he said he loved me, I had been a terrible girlfriend the last few months wallowing in my own self pity. Somehow it all came together. I spent those three weeks bettering myself and my life. I wanted to be a better girlfriend to him. I wanted to tell him I love him and I am sorry and I want to make a life together. I worked out everyday, opened a bunch of accounts, and somehow dragged myself out of this negative energy that was consuming me.

That was when I got the text 3 weeks later from him asking for his things back. I was devastated. I said you dont even want to talk? And he made some comment about well I deleted him on facebook so this must be what I wanted. I asked him why he wanted to end it and he said he just doesnt think we mesh well. I said bullshit, you dont stay with someone 2 years that you dont mesh well with whats the real reason. He said the real reason was he was tired of caring so much and being shot down, he thought after this much time I would learn to trust him but I never did. This is not true, I did trust him, with him pulling away and then me seeing that online sight I asked him one time if he was seeing someone else in our entire relationship. I dont think thats unreasonable. Anyhow I told him everything, How much I loved him, how these weeks apart had shown me how I was destroying us and myself. I realize my faults, I cant wait to show you and be the girl you fell in love with blah blah blah...classic girl 900 text mistake that day. All he said to me was I wish you would have said this weeks ago. Well I am saying it now! If you had been waiting to hear all this from me and I finally say it I would think youd be incredibly happy. Nope.. That was it... not a peek in 4 months. I have not reached out to him and he has not to me. Another failed relationship over a text message. I didnt even get the respect after two years for a damn phone call.

Ok so my questions are these...obviously he must have met someone else right? I mean who hears everything they have been wanting to hear with the actions to prove it and still leaves you?? Also I cant shake the feeling of not contacting him. I have held strong for 4 months but I think about it constantly all day every day. I am going crazy on that whim that maybe he is waiting to hear from me. So stupid i know. How does a guy completely ghost on you after 2 whole years together??? why??? I have never not heard from an ex. Even if its just hi hope your well. WTF happened. Please help me move on. Sorry for the novel. There is so much more too but thats the just of it...Thanks for reading.