Threat of Suicide - How serious is it?

[singularity2006]

I recently broke up w/ my gf of 2 yrs and she cannot stop crying. she told me she stopped herself from committing suicide in the past week but cannot live w/out me. I honestly don't know what kind of person she is when it comes to this and cannot imagine what she would actually do. Do i take this threat seriously and who do i talk to about it?

[King Zarathu]

No. I hate to say this..well....no I don't.. But anybody who kills themselves didn't deserve to live in the first place.

[gHEXjt]

You should call her parents and tell them what she's said. She's no longer your problem.

[vashti]

I agree with gHEXjt. The threat of suicide is probably nothing more than a manipulation tactic, but just in case, let her parents know. They will take care of her.

[singularity2006]

her dad is never home, her mom is cheating on her dad. she's been left to handle her two youngest sisters and has become a virtual mom. so she's kind of stressed.

[vashti]

That is too bad, but I don't really see how any of that is relevant, unless you plan to use them as an excuse to keep her around. If you are waiting for the absolutely perfect time to break things off with her, it isn't ever going to happen.

[singularity2006]

I'm just making the point that she really doesn't have anyone to turn to. At the same time, I was thinking of using it as a reason to keep her around, but i don't like the idea of that. I want to be someone that i love, not pitty. In addition, I am looking for help because i want to leave but don't want to leave her hanging.

[HeyYouGuy]

You both can still be good friends, just make that clear. Also make sure you get her some sort of help, she could be lying but she could be telling the truth. So I would get her help.

[Gigabitch]

Bump.

Suicide threats: bullshit or not? I think a lot of people end up here on LF when they're getting pretty desperate and have nowhere to turn. You can talk about things here that you might never mention to your friends and family IRL. One of those things is suicide.

Suicidal thoughts are scary. What should people do? Suck it up and push through it or tell somebody how you're feeling?

[Gribble]

Disclaimer: I don't know a lot about this topic, I haven't researched it, and I’m too lazy to start researching it now. What I say is coming straight out of my ass and should be taken with a grain of salt.

That said, I believe it depends. Most people are seeking attention, but some aren't. For that reason you must take suicide threats seriously.

These days--at least in America--you can't tell a guy to man up and take it. More and more guys are being "feminized". They're being taught to take their emotions very seriously and to share their emotions. Society is trying to teach them that their emotions are extremely important. This is true, to an extent.

Therefore telling a guy to suck it up is a complete waste of time.

Emotions are not, however, uncontrollable, nor are they ever important enough to warrant suicide. This is something that isn't stressed enough in our society. I think people are so obsessed with moving beyond the old fashioned "John Wayne" mentality that they've begun to throw out some of the good with the bad.

We can continue telling people to suck it up, thus discouraging them from ever seeking help while simultaneously encouraging them to commit suicide. We can lament over days gone by. Or we can try changing things so kids in the future are able to put emotion into perspective and realistically cope with life.

[TDurden]

I think it depends on the context and phrasing of the threat. If a threat occurs right after a depressing event I'd say it's probably just for attention. Sure they're in a situation that's stressful and may result in drastic action, but that doesn't usually result in suicide. Suicide tends not to be a spontaneous action. Statistically it's meticulously planned out and do to long term stressors, not isolated events.

The threats that one should take seriously are the ones that are seemingly out of the blue. A lot of people talk about suicide before they do it but rarely in an overtly serious manner. It may be an off-hand remark or something they say jokingly but it's usually the people who aren't overly dramatic that are the ones who are serious.

People should definitely tell someone if they're feeling suicidal, sucking it up does no good. All you're doing by sucking it up is prolonging the inevitable.

[vashti]

I think thoughts of suicide are normal (on occassion) for every thinking human being. The people I would worry most about are the ones who are chronically, clinically depressed, those with other psychiatric disorders, and people with severe, chronic pain.

[Taryn]

Here's my advice:
talk to her, and try to point out there is something to live for, however, do not comfort her, as this will be building a closer relationship, which you clearly do not want. You've got to try get the message across that there are people for her, just not you.

Regardless of whether or not it is a real threat, never take it lightly. In most cases, they will get over it eventually and pick up from where they left off.

Hope that helped!

[Gigabitch]

I have known a number of people who committed suicide (that number is four), and not a one of them ever threatened it as far as I know. It was a complete shock every time.

[Taryn]

wow that's really sad
suicide has such a big effect on everyone who knew the person..

one of my friend's got dumped by her boyfriend and locked herself in her room for 2 days... it's really scary.

giga is right tho, most often, someone's suicide will come out of the blue. people who are willing to go that far don't talk about it much