A little bit of back round about my current relationship. It is very young not even 2 months that were 'officially' together. We were really good friends for about three years prior to us even hooking up. I always had a crush on her but didn't want to ruin the friendship. I made my move on her birthday. At first it was great but after a month or so I started seeing the problems of her not being able to display affection and her being distant at times like she didn't care if this was going to work ect. I told her that maybe its best we stay friends and that I loved her but wasn't in love with her anymore as she has pushed me away. I still had very strong feelings for her but I wanted a relationship and she wasn't ready for one which I been told numerous times.
Behold the next day she writes me a letter apologizing on how she has been acting and that she really loves me and wants to be with me. My feelings haven't gone anywhere and I told her I needed time to think this through. The following day after that I got sick... She knew I wasn't going anywhere and so she brought me flowers, medicine, a magazine and chicken noodle soup.
I thought wow what more could a guy as for, maybe I was wrong. So I ended up giving her a second chance.
At this point were 'officially together' and the first two weeks were amazing, it was great! Yet now about a month later I'm having the same feelings and the same problems I had when we decided to become more then friends. So I made a list of the problems we have.
- Hardly any communication, usually it�s me who makes the effort to reach out. It's getting harder to do so as sometimes I get the vibe of 'you�re annoying' for even asking. Or short answers which raises even more questions than gives me answers.
- We have no sex, or intimacy and if there's any affection from her its few and far in between. The excuse or the reason whatever you want to call it is she has a hard time showing affection, she doesn�t like making out ... We had no sex in over a month which raises even more questions.
- I been branded insecure and that it�s always about my ego. I feel like these two things are untrue and I'm not insecure unless you give me a reason to be.
- I been told I don't try anymore... WTF I come see you all the time, we do things you want to do. I bring you flowers and come surprise you when you�re having a bad day. How about, some ****ing appreciation and maybe I�ll do nice things more often.
- I'm not good enough, as in I'm not doing all that I can to improve my life to the fullest extent. At first I took this as �oh wow she cares.� Now I see it for what it really is, negative reinforcement from someone who isn't perfect or really doing all they can to improve their life. Especially the way this is said to me as if though I really didn�t care about myself, my future.
- We constantly argue over nothing and somehow it�s my fault every time. Unless I bend to how she sees things or admit that somehow it�s my fault then we are not going to get a resolution.
While I give it my all I get very little in return. I thought relationships were about being 50/50. I feel so mistreated, I love this person with all my heart but do they even love me back or are the capable of true love?
Thanks for reading I know this is a lot and there is a lot more. But if you have any advice or comments or questions let me know...