It finally happen. Tom and I broke up yesterday night. We havent talked whole day today, not even an email . we had the biggest fight yesterday out of nowhere.
I decided that after work i was gonna eat something out, then he made a big deal, we shared couple emails, he cursed me and so, and then he finally apologized . i went to the restaurant after work, got back home like 2 hours later, and he was watching a movie he really wanted to see. he was not talking a lot, i was tired so i said; im gonna get some sleep, i love you, hope u enjoy the movie. He didnt answer for 5 minutes, then he said love u night. Not even thanked me for the comment, then i told him; u took 5 minutes to say good night to me and didnt even thank me? then he started calling me all those names u guys knows already and i just went crazy.
I told him to not look for me anymore on the internet cause i was not gonna be around for him anymore.
And a bunch of other things i dont feel like telling here right now.
he called me a bunch of ***** words, cursed my daughter said awful things bout her. just like he does every time hes pissed.
And told me i own him money for everything he has ever done for me in our relationship, and said he wants me to pay him back.
why do i feel like a truck ran over my heart? and cant stop thinking bout this whole relationship and time that i wasted?
i guess this is the feeling i was scared of. Loneliness... like the whole effort u have been making it`s for nothing.
My 4 years relationship took me anywhere, i just found out one more time, how i suck when it comes to find the perfect man to share my life with, and im not good at it at all. Then i see all my friends around me, happy and having the perfect dad, the perfect guy and im in a shit pool watching other people happiness all the time.
I decided im done, i dont wanna any relationships in my life anymore. I will just live to work and take care of my daugther.
I dont wanna get hurt again, and feel like broken in thousand pieces over a love i guess i never had
if someone wants to chat with me can send me the email and i add. may be i just need somebody to talk to.
thanks for reading